Starting life at 27 year

Hello everyone i have a big issue in my life. I am 27 year old but being very introvert and have lived in different countries due to familly issuees i never could kept a group of friend for a long time.  I never had something like a best friend with whom to share great experiences. So now i think it is time to start life anew find people to spend good time with and more important having a relation. But i realised something. Most people nowadays, especially due to social medias, tend to share their photos and videos of important events in their lives. However i dont have any photos even for my birthday i didnt had parties. So i am afraid to look weird like someone comming from nowhere. I feel like a may even look suspect. 
Since there are many stories of people having social problems, no friends at all and achieved to change, how did they do to hide the lack of social life they used to have or are they honest about it? Sometimes i think about inventing things to make my life more seems more exiting but after that i tell myself that it is no use and i am affraid to get caught in a circle of lies and end up living a fake life. However how to deal with the fact that i lack many stories to tell when everyone is telling memories of his teen ages i feel like an idiot.
What are you advice guys?
Thanks!

My advice is don't make things up, it will come back to bitr you in the butt if you do, it's hard being truthflul about loneliness, there rests a socialstigma on it, people seem to think they can catch it fom us if we get too close or something...

It's a long road that I just started walking myself, and i'm still checking my map after every step it seems, not sure where to go, if I'm going the right way, if I'm even on the correct road. Coming out for it should be the norm, however much you hate it it's pat off you story, and you'll find that when it comes to that you suddenly do have allot to talk about! But be careful about actually doing that, oversharing is a pittfall and if you're anything like me most off those stories won't cause allot off laughs or lift spirits.

Hard as it may seem it's never too late to change, the time you've lost is forever lost, but the future is as open to you as it is to everyone, start making some stories off your own!

MisterLonely said:

My advice is don't make things up, it will come back to bitr you in the butt if you do, it's hard being truthflul about loneliness, there rests a socialstigma on it, people seem to think they can catch it fom us if we get too close or something...

It's a long road that I just started walking myself, and i'm still checking my map after every step it seems, not sure where to go, if I'm going the right way, if I'm even on the correct road. Coming out for it should be the norm, however much you hate it it's pat off you story, and you'll find that when it comes to that you suddenly do have allot to talk about! But be careful about actually doing that, oversharing is a pittfall and if you're anything like me most off those stories won't cause allot off laughs or lift spirits.

Hard as it may seem it's never too late to change, the time you've lost is forever lost, but the future is as open to you as it is to everyone, start making some stories off your own!

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Just be honest and true to yourself. Find confidence within and be the best you can be in life. Never worry about what other people think. Only you know the truth...

Thanks people for the replies, yeah however it is hard to explain why i was such a loner and the big problem is how will a girl react? She would certainly had many relationships and went to alot of parties having a group of friends and lots of memories to share while i will not. I think the other way around would be acceptable but for a guy to be seen as a loser it is quite a deadend or at least i will it to be that way

Pennywise said:

Thanks people for the replies, yeah however it is hard to explain why i was such a loner and the big problem is how will a girl react? She would certainly had many relationships and went to alot of parties having a group of friends and lots of memories to share while i will not. I think the other way around would be acceptable but for a guy to be seen as a loser it is quite a deadend or at least i will it to be that way

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I never started to date until i was 19yrs.. when i finished school i never went out either.. so what I'm try to say is. Do not hesitate to be truthful about yourself. Please let this old Man (me) Tel you there is someone out there for you.. i know this because it's true... So man up and stop thinking about your passed.. girl's tend to bring you out of your shell.. you can then make new memories...

Pennywise said:

Thanks people for the replies, yeah however it is hard to explain why i was such a loner and the big problem is how will a girl react? She would certainly had many relationships and went to alot of parties having a group of friends and lots of memories to share while i will not. I think the other way around would be acceptable but for a guy to be seen as a loser it is quite a deadend or at least i will it to be that way

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You're thinking way too much in to it. Stop seeing your lack of past references experiences as a bad thing. You can't change that, all you can have control of is the now - if you want to do something do it, but don't dwell in the past.

I doubt when you meet a girl for first few times you'll be sharing memories. Yes, it can help to tell stories - that's more of an art of conversation rather than past experiences as such.

Again, stop seeing it as negative thing is a start. I don't think I've ever thought or even noticed "hmm this person hasn't told me many stories about their past". You're over-blowing it

Pennywise said:

Thanks people for the replies, yeah however it is hard to explain why i was such a loner and the big problem is how will a girl react? She would certainly had many relationships and went to alot of parties having a group of friends and lots of memories to share while i will not. I think the other way around would be acceptable but for a guy to be seen as a loser it is quite a deadend or at least i will it to be that way

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Ok, so here I differ from the others because I absolutle get it all, believe me you have no idea how much I get this, being 27 or 33 as I am it's only natural that women expect you to be in a certain place in life, have certain experiences under your belt.

I'm good at first contact but bad at pushing past pleasentries because you do feel like whatever comes next will drive them off or make them mock you right at the spot, whatever will happen it won't be this though, because you'll not open up when you do not trust the person you're with.

Also do not think the other way around is any better, women approaching their 30th birthday being virgins, having no children, no friends and no social life are maybe even under more pressure fom society as we men are, and they struggle just as much as you and I.

What you need to do, hard as it may seem is become ok with people thinking off you as a loser, be it men or women, stangers or family. And also, you just started, don't expect to immediatly get to the end goal, allow yourself some time and some peace!

MisterLonely said:

Also do not think the other way around is any better, women approaching their 30th birthday being virgins, having no children, no friends and no social life are maybe even under more pressure fom society as we men are, and they struggle just as much as you and I.

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It's a powerful validating force for both genders, but beyond validation, for men it helps with the perception that we're safe to be around ('he must be okay if other women were comfortable getting that close to him')

Were all human so we're all affected by loneliness, lack of affection, etc., but socially isolated older male virgins are viewed with a kind of suspicion older women in similar situations aren't. Better to be thought of as a sad lonely cat lady or whatever than a creep...

ardour said:

MisterLonely said:

Also do not think the other way around is any better, women approaching their 30th birthday being virgins, having no children, no friends and no social life are maybe even under more pressure fom society as we men are, and they struggle just as much as you and I.

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It's a powerful validating force for both genders, but beyond validation, for men it helps with the perception that we're safe to be around ('he must be okay if other women were comfortable getting that close to him')

Were all human so we're all affected by loneliness, lack of affection, etc.,  but socially isolated older male virgins are viewed with a kind of suspicion older women in similar situations aren't. Better to be thought of as a sad lonely cat lady or whatever than a creep...

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What the "random" people think isn't really that bothersome I'd think, let them think what they think, be it creep or cat lady some people will always judge without knowing the facts.

As for your other point there again is a similar one for the women ('What?! Never had a relationship?! At her age, whats wrong with her... she must be a freak and a weirdo...')

I'm not sure I would say that older women aren't viewed with suspicion because, in general, I think it's easier for guys to hide the fact that they are a virgin. Assuming, of course that neither watches porn.

Honestly, unless you are in a committed relationship, trying to be completely honest, I don't see why anyone has to know that you are a virgin at all.

That's not what I meant by suspicion. I don't want to stress this over and over, but being viewed as a potential predator is a far worse character judgement than being thought of as kooky or otherwise odd.

Oh, I misinterpreted that. I don't know if I'd say that was true either though. I think it's becoming more tolerated that people are socially isolated because it happens more now than it did before. Personally, I kind of blame the internet because people don't HAVE to go out for everything anymore. They can do everything at home on a box now.

Honestly a lonely guy is always seen as suspect, however it understandable, many guys do stupid things that girls dont and there is way more dangerous weirdos among us. 
A guy with no friends is directly considered as a looser. A shy lonely girl that dont have friend is seen as cute and it might even be appreciated that she is not very socially comfortable, as naturally guys like to be the one who is in charge and protecting in the couple. In the other hand a shy quiet guy will never attract women as women seek guys with great confidence on who they could rely. This is the traditional view but sadly it is still that way in most cases.

However it is not about who is the most miserable, we are all in it together. The question is, how do we get out of here? Because i dont feel like i'am made to be a loner, it is just life that made it happen that way. I want to change but see just a dead end. If i let my miserable self be shown people will just mock me and reject me as a weirdo and i'll get more miserable, if i try to deny my past and act with confidence i am just acting someone else and i think it is going also to fail.

No, women with no friends are considered "losers" by people, as well.

How do you get out there? By getting out there. It's really as simple as that. (notice I didn't say EASY.....) Find something you like to do and go out and do it. Meet people with similar interests. Start a new hobby. Volunteer. Just do something.

What Callie just said is very true, you don't want to show the miserable self to people, so you should focus on being less miserable.

You still seem to want to jump to the end of the process and skip all the actuall work and improving, not trying tobring you down, just being realistic, change first happiness later.

ardour said:

Being viewed as a potential predator is a far worse character judgement than being thought of as kooky or otherwise odd.

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I'm with ardour on this one. It'll be harder for males. Females are still going to be valued for being females, males will be valued as a creep or a predator if they're perceived as such.

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MisterLonely said:

You still seem to want to jump to the end of the process and skip all the actuall work and improving, not trying tobring you down, just being realistic, change first happiness later.

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I have to disagree. Seems like he doesn't know how, it's a very powerless position to start from - very discouraging too.

Pennywise said:

Because I dont feel like I'm made to be a loner.

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I'm going to get past the terrifying profile picture and my coulrophobia because this hit me like a truck. That's the answer a lot of people look for, especially after being alone for a long time - it's tough to balance the longing for human interaction/affection with the desire to be self-sufficient. You know you don't want that, you're not lying to yourself, that's actually a good start. Doesn't seem like it, but it is.
To answer the OP, don't lie. Don't be afraid to share your life, or how little experience you have, because if you really want to find people to be social, people you want to be around, lying won't get you that. It might make you meet new people, but it'll feel very hollow. Very superficial. And having those experiences now could turn you into a very resentful person. Make you give up, go back and trying to be self-sufficient when you have already established that you want people around... Ok, my practical advice here would be don't worry too much. Don't act like something you're not and give people a chance to judge you how they want, pick the ones who can understand or sympathize to be around you and leave the mocking and weirdo-labelling behind. Weirdos are fun, by the way, I wouldn't even be ashamed of that label. haha
Don't be afraid to try, you can surprise yourself. Hope things work out for you.

I honestly don't think most people dig too deeply into their friends' social media unless they're romantically interested. They're too busy posting their own content.

There are also some people who quite simply don't use Facebook, etc. My brother is a married engineer raising two kids, and I'm not sure he's ever used Facebook himself. His wife created a profile for him and added some family, and that was the last I saw of it.

I've had an ex stalk me through social media, and had a local date use posts on the one site I still use to sniff out other places I hang out online (games, etc) without my permission, so the less I have out there the better.

Take action, go out, find girl friend, get drunk, travel, no matter if you have no money, travel then in nearest city which you never visited, just keep moving that is the only way to meet another people spontaneously and to make friends, find nice girls, establish own family, etc... Trust me