Asocial behave issues?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Legendary93

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Hello , I dont know where to start from because I have so many questions without answers and im really confused , i feel like im stuck in a dark hole without escape. But mainly Im gonna ask for your help or someone like me share how do they live like that. The problem is that I dont talk much (i just prefer to be a listener) and i have very few ppl to talk with. I had gf only once in my life and our relationship wasn't going well and I think its cause of my problem. Actually it wasn't really a problem before , but my family kept telling me that im weird and I wont find any friends / girlfriend (I have friends and I can talk with them but most of the time Depends on my mood , sometimes i can talk a lot and most of the time Im quiet and have no feelings at all).So after my family were saying that to me all that years while my puberty it became a Complex to me , an issue. Every single time I must talk with someone on the phone for example (especially if its a girl) or talking face to face my head is fully empty i start getting nervous and feels like my own voice is repeating in my head ( SAY SOMETHING , DONT BE QUIET , THEY'll FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE QUIET AND WILL SAY THAT YOU're BORING / WEIRD AND SO ON.) So I met a girl 2 months ago and when we're together its usual for me to hug her , kiss her (sometimes) , talk with her (we're not in relationship but we both like each other) and I just cant express any feeling. Im fully stonedface and super serious and Im just waiting for people to start a discuss so we can talk about something anyway I wont say a single word I just have an empty head. I can talk freely only with people i Know for long time and Im not nervous around them (for example my friends).I know my problem sounds really annoying and cliche but I really wanna escape from this hole. I feel like no one cares what im thinking and they're something more than me and that i have serious issues which cant be fixed.. I want a normal life , Im still a virgin (im 20 btw) had gf only once , i think im not ugly im tall and fit / slim guy I think thats even attractive Im 1.93 cm tall and im 75 kg. And many ppl dont believe me that i didnt have more than 1 gf or that im still a virgin. And im pretty sure that its cause of my issue. People think im weird and Very serious but I am funny around my friends and can talk without any problems.. As i said im confused i dont know what's my problem is it a shyness or what??  :( :(
 
Hey Legendary93 yeah that sounds maybe like shyness or maybe just really introverted. Some people are just more talkative than others. Have you tried talking with a counselor or therapist? I don't know if that maybe be able to help. A good way to talk to people is ask things about the other person such as favorite books, movies, shows, bands, how their day went, ect.

I know it can be hard so often it seems like no one wants to talk about things that I'm interested in so I just listen along to conversations about college sports or some politics and I just nod along politely.

Try not to worry too much about not having many relationships or things like that, it's not as uncommon as you might think. Tv and movies can really skew our perception about that and makes it seem like everyone's hooking up and getting laid all the time, but it's not so much the case in real life.
 
I don't know if I would call it asocial behavior. It almost sounds more like social anxiety or just plain old shyness to me.

I suppose my advice, if you want to change all that, is to start forcing yourself to inject something into conversations. Just find a go to question that you can ask to get things rolling. Not sure what you do say around people you don't know. Hi, how are you? What'd you do this weekend? How is school/wok going? etc etc. Just something that would apply to nearly everyone.

You're still young, so yeah, don't worry too much about the relationship issue. There's nothing wrong with only having had one girlfriend (or no girlfriend for that matter) at 20.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top