Girls become bitchy and over-obsessive?

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owmygod

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Today's topic that im posting are a few questions , why girls sometimes become bitchy and over-obsessive when you even didn't start a relationship???

Why some girls become obsessed about what you do , where you go , who you've been with , even if you both aren't in a relationship but in a phase of get to know each other ( maybe that's a way that she wants only I to be with her and not with other girls? ) , but the strange thing is that she is still with a guy and god knows how many guys she's dating still... :D

And final one question is , why a girl always tries to 'lock' you only to her? And yes , i can talk to her and we can discuss this but if that's how she is , is there a possibility to not act in those ways?
 
I don't know. I've never done a thing like that. I think these kinds of behaviour are called "NEEDY" ... :D
I think your questions was retorical (if that is the proper word)
 
owmygod said:
Today's topic that im posting are a few questions , why girls sometimes become bitchy and over-obsessive when you even didn't start a relationship???

Why some girls become obsessed about what you do , where you go , who you've been with , even if you both aren't in a relationship but in a phase of get to know each other ( maybe that's a way that she wants only I to be with her and not with other girls? ) , but the strange thing is that she is still with a guy and god knows how many guys she's dating still... :D

And final one question is , why a girl always tries to 'lock' you only to her? And yes , i can talk to her and we can discuss this but if that's how she is , is there a possibility to not act in those ways?

well yeah, it can change, some are a bit concerned at the initial phases of the relationship, so they become obsessed in making sure you are not playing around. However, when it becomes too much to handle, by the way, both genders may act this way then it's time to tell the other to take it slow and stop pushing you too fast.
 
Not every single girl out there does this. I've met some girls who could care less about any of that. Maybe you're meeting the wrong type of girls. However maybe their asking you these questions because their cautious and just want to ask you some basic questions. I know I sometimes ask because I don't want to get any STD's when getting involved with someone. Sometimes people are not fully honest and play the field while also being in a relationship. It takes time to get to know the person inside and out before getting involved.

If you don't feel comfortable however, make sure you address it to the person and let them know what you're boundaries are. It's always good to be upfront. =)
 
owmygod said:
I don't know. I've never done a thing like that. I think these kinds of behaviour are called "NEEDY" ... :D
I think your questions was retorical (if that is the proper word)

lol, yeah, it was rhetorical.  But are you 100% sure that's what they are actually doing?  Perhaps you're making it into something bigger than it is.
Not saying that's definitely what's happening, but it's a possibility.  Or maybe they really are jealous, controlling bitches.  Who knows.
 
Wallflower , roy , your posts was what i needed to realise. Thanks , i think this thread is done. I've talked to the girl and we are now ok , again this thread is over now
 
You'd be surprised the number of bitchy and obssessive men there are.
Matter of fact, only people I ever find to be bitchy and ober-obssessive is people who are, in essence...bitchy and obssessive.
Never understood myself why it suddenly became and automatic "woman" problem. Probably has to do with the image of women sent out by media, books, tv shows and etc, ergo, the always bitching housewife, or mother in law, or "psycho-girlfriend" or what not...
Anyhow, it's not reality. It's only been my experience in one relationship and never after that.
I imagine people in general become like then when they care a lot about something. Feel overprotective. One of my exs used to try and control my life, pretty much. Now that some years have passed and we spoke again on it, she understands the more you pull on something, farther away that something's going to want to do from ya.
Also, for some people, it's just the way it is. They were raised that way, their parents acted that way and they mimic said behavior in their adulthood. Not very surprising.
Hell, I'm bitchy. I don't THINK I'm over obssessive, but I like to rant about stuff make no sense to me. Generally politics ;-)
I dunno, just surround yourself with people that are different when that happens. Drains a lot of energy for no reason.
 
Richard_39 said:
I imagine people in general become like then when they care a lot about something. Feel overprotective. One of my exs used to try and control my life, pretty much. Now that some years have passed and we spoke again on it, she understands the more you pull on something, farther away that something's going to want to do from ya.

This part of your post really caught my eye.  I think this has been my experience, and yet another reason why I've had difficulty being attractive.  I wouldn't consider myself "bitchy", but I suppose "obsessed" is one way I could be perceived.  I think it has a lot of negative spin though.  I think of it as more like how you said, I care a lot about something.  I really want certain things, I really want things to go a certain way.  I want things like who I'm dating to be by design because leaving it up to luck hasn't done anything for me yet.  And I feel like my opportunities are scarce.  Not just anything or anyone will do.  I've seen lots of dating articles where the author says to not have a scarcity mindset, but that doesn't work for me because there just aren't a lot of girls I find myself feeling enthusiastic about, and I absolutely hate the idea of settling, being someone who settles, being forced into settling.  Just the thought of being someone who has to settle makes me angry and I want to get as far away from settling and being a loser as I possibly can.  I really want to experience being with someone I actually want, and I really don't want to experience settling.  My opinions on this are very strong because when I was a kid, I thought I was naturally stuck at the bottom, powerless, and that's just the way it is.  I'm still fighting that old story, that old idea that maybe I'm just inherently a loser and there's nothing I can do about it but accept it.  In more recent years though, I've started to challenge that old story.  I've started to feel like, maybe I could be doing some things better, but I DON'T suck.  I won't accept that anymore.  There are people who don't have to settle in dating, it's a real thing that happens so why not me too?  They're not better than me.

But I think the last part you wrote is especially true.  The more you pull on something, the farther away that something is going to get, especially a person - whether it's dating, friendship, or even just a debate, and the more you trash someone or something, the more you push others into taking the other party's side.  I've noticed this a lot.  It must be some kind of psychology thing, some way people are wired.  Maybe it's because really wanting or caring about something puts you in a disadvantageous position.  But I guess it's just how people are so it's easier to go with it than against it.  Just have to figure out how to win someone over without looking like i'm trying to.  It all seems really counter-intuitive.
 
TheSkaFish said:
But I think the last part you wrote is especially true.  The more you pull on something, the farther away that something is going to get, especially a person - whether it's dating, friendship, or even just a debate, and the more you trash someone or something, the more you push others into taking the other party's side.  I've noticed this a lot.  It must be some kind of psychology thing, some way people are wired.  Maybe it's because really wanting or caring about something puts you in a disadvantageous position.  But I guess it's just how people are so it's easier to go with it than against it.  Just have to figure out how to win someone over without looking like i'm trying to.  It all seems really counter-intuitive.

Indeed. Referred to as "clingy", I think. Anyways, my personal thing is that I don't over obssess over it. In fact, I'm quite the opposite; if it's, if I'M, important to her, she'll show interest. If she doesn't, she doesn't care. It's not like she's the only girl in the world and while YES, SHE might be special...there's all kinds of special in the world.
Trick is to not care a little. Care too much and it becomes a nuisance. If I might advise, instead of trying to "win" someone over without looking like your trying to, change your approach. DON'T try to win someone over. Spend some time with her because you feel like it and she seems to feel like it. If she doesn't, well...don't lol.
Like you said. The more you pull, the further away it pulls. I know this for a fact myself and react very badly to clingy people.
You can care enormously about someone or something and yet learn how to not pull. All it takes is time and practice, but also, judgment and introspection. Ability to look at one's own actions dispassionately and wonder if they're correct or not. If you do that, you can get anything you want out of life.

And if it don't work out and she flies away, well...goodbye. Like I always say, her loss. Without saying "I'm a catch", I'm a good guy and she's missing out. Her problem. You know?

Anyway, that's my two cents. You do what your own tells you in the end ;-)
 
Maybe if you didn't call grown women girls and started respecting them for the adults they are, they'd be a little more respectful of you in return. Do you call grown men boys? Why not? Grown women are girls to you, so how come grown men aren't boys?
 

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