Getting rejected twice

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Eternitydreamer

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well, there is a lady who goes to my sports group I found her online and messaged her. She ignored the message. I deleted the conversation (they can still read it) so not sure if she even resd it. So today I sent a frie d request and she accepted it but wont talk to me. I feel mighty stupid. She won't answer me or do anything...I am mega confused and feel mega stupid!!,!!

I also days ago sent a message to a staff member and was mega nice. She said "yes (my name) i do the van driving, I am (her name) :)". The rejection kills me. I sent a friendrequest too. Was i stupid to do so? what do I do if she denies it? will be mega awkward around her. I really like ner and said she is cool. Guess I made a huge fool of myself? How can I face her now?!? She didn't even respond to my nice comments! I saidto her just now "yay! Hope you accept my friend request!" Plus a few cute emojis. Maybe I forced that too much.
I feel so stupid just forcing this is my only way of making friends and what I said to her was true (I said I feel happy when I see her and like it when she is there)
Guess I should never return back to thr place ever again?? I want to go into hiding now. Guess I am just a client after all just sitting at home for 12 long years and you meet someone cool I want to make an effort. But guess I f***ed up and crossed the line now
I am just a plain person..no one special. She has read the message about adding her.

Thinking of deleting the first person. I am so dumb...:( Just want to wallow in a pit now.
I am such an idiot...I can't stand this.
She is at work right now I imagine and can imagine her gossiping about me to thr other staff...just want to kill myself in shame
 
True. The first person is actually having a long convo with me believe it or not!! I'm shocked. She seems a little irritated with me but not surprised
My personality is weird. The other person won't respond so ill probably remove my add now.
 
Don't be so hard on youself, have you thought about the possibility they actually aren't allowed to get involved with clients in a personal matter?
It's not to weird for intitutions to have rules set in place like that, and they are often considered fireable offences, they are originally set in place to protect the clients, but have evolved these days to protect the staff as well.

I don't know if you do allot of chatting with people over social media, but there is always the ALL discord chat, it's not always packed but there are always people around, ofcourse talking to actuall people face to face would be preferable :)

You don't have to remove an add on facebook, they can do it themselves and you will never know!
 
You are putting a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself about this, which is understandable if you have been alone a long time. It might help a little not to view every instance you reach out with such a life and death level of importance. Try not to go into it expecting others to reach back every time. But appreciate your own courage to have tried and appreciate those who do reach back :) There are never guarantees with things like this and beating yourself up to this degree will just make it harder to reach out in the future. So try to cut yourself some slack :) What's the worst that could happen if you do? ;)
 
Not everyone on social media wants to send long messages or any message to every person that sends them one. They could also just not want to type out a reply on a mobile device and choose to wait until they get to a computer (this is what I do), and sometimes they just don't want to read a message.

Social media is not the problem, IMO....your expectations are. I agree with Skyless on everything that was said. Also, social media is NOT the only way you can make friends. Regardless of your situation, it is not the only way.
 
I cancelled the group and the other chick doesn't want to reach out to me. My depression is so low and I don't know what to do. It really hurts the staff don't care about me. They won't even see how I am. I hate this. I just want to kill myself.
I have tried so hard to make friends and have tried for 8 years. I am lost and hopeless. There is no answer. I really cared about the person who rejected me and no one cares about me back. I can't take it
 
Your biggest struggle may be learning to love and value yourself, despite how many friends you do or don't have. Life is worth living for ourselves. It's not dependent on having a group of people around us. Yes, friends are "nice" but they are the icing on the cake of a healthy outlook and healthy existence.

Hear what you are saying: I want to kill myself because I don't have friends. What does that say about your sense of self-worth? Others can detect negative emotions and subconsciously stay away from people who are struggling. It's not right and it's not fair. But it is what it is.

I suggest you find a book that guides you through the process of learning to love yourself and care for yourself.
 
They aren't worth it if they don't support you. I have had nothing but one-sided "friendships" where they never asked about me, but me about them. I was really low the day I wrote the last message. I blocked the woman who stopped talking to me. I can't be bothered with the forcing a message every time. I can't have common ground with the people I want to be friends with anyway. I just don't have the same sort of life I guess. I hate that my heart cares so much. I was so friendly and kind to everyone at that group I was apart of thought to myself "hey! Maybe they liked that!". I smiled heaps and even tried conversation starters.
There was one other staff member I was so fond of. But she just didn't like me. In fact, she treated me like filth. But I still think of her and still miss her crazy jokes. In fact she was irritated when I tried having a conversation with her and she made it all about her and was making her face Into a scorn. Man, did that hurt.
The pain is so slowly fading. I'm beginning to forget I even went there. Or even knew these people and I'm so glad. I just find friendship is just non existent.
I think I'm too kind and sugary for my own good. But I'm being true to myself. I find women are very hard nut and have a huge barrier around them. I am a sensitive soul. In fact the staff member I liked heaps likes a page called "f*** feelings be a b****" (not the one I tried adding the other).
No wonder I can't be liked by people they hate emotions and feelings and caring
I like hugs, I like laughter. I like those things. I don't like cattiness, partying. Guess they sense I'm different! That's all my mum can say.
I guess the other woman considered me just a person she took home. Fair enough. I just thought of her more than that. I just see staff members are friends with clients so I tried it.

It's been 12 years, I can go another 12 years without friends....
 
Are you sure that all this Facebook rejection isn't just in your head? Like you think these people are going to reject you so you end up reading too much into it?
 
No pretty sure not. People don't usually leave friend requests when they are not working and have free time. It is ok though I guess :/. I just expected something more but should've known better
 
Deleting my Facebook has lessened my stress when it comes to triggering situations regarding people and their exclusion of me. You should delete your Facebook! I got so annoyed and sick of people wanting to be able to see what's going on in my life (because they enjoy gossiping and are nosy) without actually wanting to be in my life or having me in theirs.
Delete...delete...delete! You may feel 'left out' being a young person without Facebook, but with all honestly, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Another thing is, you seem to be surrounded by selfish bitches. Try meeting other people because this group of people really, really suck.
 
I did think of deleting it and did actually, but I use it for praying for other people now. I just don't know what to do without it. Not that I have friends on it, because I don't (I did add a bunch of Christians like myself). But because it's fun just browsing it. So yeh I reactivated kt

The group was a mental health community where people with mental illness do cooking, crafts and sports. I ended up getting fond of staff members who didn't like me. I thought it was ok to add since I looked on their face books with some people I knew in the group. So thought it was ok. No law or anything. The staff member I tried adding just drove me home and I never once had a conversation with her. So guess I came off creepy
The other staff member I liked had a hatred towards me. The other woman was a member of badminton and mates with the staff member who hates me on Facebook who said they "supported her"
I stopped going and they won't see how I am. I left a voice message saying I can't go anymore and they didn't ring back
But my stepfather rang up the next day without knowing I did that and they (not sure which staff member) said they "miss me there". I just rolled my eyes because thst is just trash I've had that garbage before
 
Eternitydreamer said:
I did think of deleting it and did actually, but I use it for praying for other people now. I just don't know what to do without it. Not that I have friends on it, because I don't (I did add a bunch of Christians like myself). But because it's fun just browsing it. So yeh I reactively it

The group was a mental health community where people with mental illness do cooking, crafts and sports. I ended up getting fond of staff members who didn't like me. I thought it was ok to add since I looked on their face books with some people I knew in the group. So thought it was ok. No law or anything. The staff member I tried adding just drove me home and I never once had a conversation with her. So guess I came off creepy
The other staff member I liked had a hatred towards me. The other woman was a member of badminton and Mayes with the staff member who hates me on Facebook who said they "supported her"
I stopped going and they won't see how I am. I left a voice message saying I can't go anymore and they didn't ring back
But my stepfather rang up the next day without knowing I did that and they (not sure which staff member) said they "miss me there". I just rolled my eyes because thst is just trash I've had that garbage before

You can live without Facebook if you just delete it. It didn't always exist. Do you really enjoy it? What do you enjoy about it? What do you do on it? From your posts, it sounds like it's a huge stressor for you. You spend time browsing profiles of people who don't care about you or ignore you or make you feel bad. Why waste your time doing that? Really, Facebook is mostly used for people-stalking and showing off. There are people who might be lucky enough to have friends that are far away that they want to connect with, but other than that, it's full of narcissists. 

Well, I'm not sure what mental illnesses they have but regardless, it sounds like they do not like you and have chosen to be ******** and make you feel bad. People are super fake! I've had people act the same way...ignored me to my face and then ask how I'm doing behind my back through others (seems like they're just nosy).

I'm quite bitter when it comes to people, so I may not be the best person for advice...but really, you need to do something different instead of wasting your precious time on Facebook and these fools.
 
Yeah, I guess it's a stressor. I have looked up people from my past and they are married and have happy lives and they made my life crap. So yes..it is a trigger.
I enjoyed the activities but I stupidly expected friendship from it. The staff really were the problem for me. But that is my issue, going for those in authority like teachers or staff. When I shouldn't. I just wanted to feel "special".
It was kinda scary at the same time going there as the people who go there have all types of mental illness. Not sure what..but the woman who talked to me (in my badminton group)said a girl pulled a knife on someone at her home. I had just talked to this woman prior and this woman was quiet and so sad and innocent looking I thought "wow!" . They had huge knives in their kitchen so I didn't think it was that safe. (The mental health place$They didn't care all too much about seat belts on the van and personal safety.
Thr staff member who hated me had an issue of deliberately "forgetting" to take me on the van. Last time I went, She got the guy in my group to sign the form confirming he was there and he sat next to the door, she would tell him to go. When just the week prior I was sitting right there where he was and she walked past me. Told him to come with her (he was outisde) Then she walked out the door, I followed and she said "oh...where's uh...(my name)" and forgot me and turned around and said "haha! She's right behinddddd me!". There is NO WAY she could make this same mistake twice. Thought thst was major catty and lame.
She done this every single time. And to try and be nice to her I tried talking to her in the van but that backfired. She was angry and her face showed a "oh shut up I don't care".
I had picked up a vibe for a while thst she didn't like me. Little things here and there I remembered. Like when I was a bit ditzy one day as I was tired and stressed. (Badminton as she is the instructor) She said to me "yoohoooooooo! Wakey Wakey!" And just was a major cow.
Don't know what is wrong with people.
 
You seem to glance over the posts offering true recommendations on how to better yourself or your situation and instead focus on and respond to the posts that allow you to stay locked in the same mind frame.
 
Eternitydreamer said:
No pretty sure not. People don't usually leave friend requests when they are not working and have free time. It is ok though I guess :/. I just expected something more but should've known better

I leave friend requests all the time. Unless I know people VERY WELL, they sit there and wait until I want them on my profile.  This might not have anything to do with you, specifically.  I definitely think you're reading too much into this.
 
I thought I would try with the "nicer bunch". But it backfired. I did my best but I don't leave any lasting impact on anyone. I try my best to be friendly and smile but I guess I have a huge flaw. I am better off at home with my mum. Which is ok. I just get really lonely. 
Admit it hurts they won't ring up to see how I am. But it is just a job to them. Maybe too nice for my own good.
 

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