Do you think people would be surprise if they knew

about how you really feel on a regular basis.

I mean it seems like I am doing very well in hiding how I feel like, 
I seem to be a very funny, immature type of guy, while I have been struggling with frustration and depression for more than two years and
to be honest, I was never really satisfied with myself. However, it is not transparent to anyone.

what's it like to you?

I would imagine, if people know you well, that they can see more than you think they can. Same goes for strangers, on a different level. No one can hide it that well.

I don't really care if people know how I really feel, but then, I don't tend to hide it. Don't really see the point in it. Everyone has problems, everyone gets depressed and frustrated and anxious, just on varying degrees.

I only tell people that I know will be supportive of me. So most of my family knows of my depression and that I am now working on it.

I think acquaintances, like people at my work, would be surprised.

Im kind like you roy, cheerful and funny on th outside, but dark and sad inside. And ya i think if people really knew how i felt they would be surprised but not in a bad why. The people i know probably care enough that they would support me in my troubles. But saddly im juat not able to open up to them and thats entirely my oqn problem.

It would be surprising to me if many people where surprised as to my states of mind, I don't think I hold very much back to build a completely antithetical surface persona.

I'm curious tho Roy, what do you think would be different in your life if your internal struggles where more transparent? What do you think you would gain, what would be lost?

Surprised? Maybe, but I don't have much of a persona going on except quietly doing my job and being sarcastic. I don't have to hide either, people aren't actually asking questions which would expose anything revelatory about me. It's funny because I'm an open book - within limitations. But if they did, it's entirely possible they would also be angry or utterly confused.

Sometimes I'm afraid of what's going on in the heads of normal everyday people I have to deal with. So perhaps it's for the best.

I make a lot of people uncomfortable because they can't read me. I've had people walk up to me in social settings and say (and I paraphrase): "I am good at figuring people out. But I can't figure you out."

I've got a really good poker face and am also good at controlling body language and masking micro-expressions. People don't notice that. They just notice that they can't get a sense for me.

It's because I don't want most people to know that much of the time I feel like this: "I am disgusted to be part of this species. Send the comet."

I'm friendly and outgoing and rarely hide my feelings. Except when doing pain when my legs are screaming, for then it's best I'm on my own.