"Maybe if I did use Facebook, I'd have more friends."

An interesting quote from a coworker today. He said it half-jokingly, but I think he may have believed it a little, too. We were chatting a bit in the kitchen when I tuned in to hear this.

Is this something people often think? That using Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc, is crucial to friendships and socializing. I know a lot of people who don't use them much, but it seems Internet and phone time is only increasing so people must be doing something. What is it? I very rarely meet good people online, so I can't imagine using Facebook to actually make friends would be beneficial.

One coworker said she had a sick friend who didn't update her own friends directly (including those who don't use Facebook) on how treatments were going. She just posted it online.

People organize a lot of social events through Facebook these days so that may be part of it.

You could use it as conversation starters with people. Like if you "friend" your coworkers, you could comment on what they put on social media in real life.

I post stuff about my dog shows, and my coworkers talk to me more and ask questions. That stuff leads to friendships.

Also, you can search for events near by. Our downtown and cutlural center has cool free stuff all the time that I would not have known of if it wasn't for facebook.

Facebook sucks.

Facebook is a CIA database. Don't feed the beast. Lol

I think many people do feel that social media is an integral part of their social lives now. Friendship is a lot of work and most people I know aren't really interested in putting the hours and face time into a friendship when they have jobs, relationships or whatever going on in their lives, so social media is really the ideal way of making an effort without really going out of your way since you can do it from the comfort of your own home. I have more than one friend that I don't see for months at a time and they're always telling me I should use Facebook.

I found people wanting to be under the guise of friendship through Facebook but actually didn't want to put any effort or ignored me in real life. It caused a lot of confusion and hurt and I'm better off without it. I found a lot of people would add me so they had something to gossip about with people we mutually knew. 

It may work for some people but it didn't for me. People seem to be more self-absorbed than ever and are always plugged in. What a breath of fresh air it would be to find others, like me, late 20s and preferring face to face conversation instead of texting, selfies, instagram, twitter, facebook, snapchat etc. Never have I seen so many self-obsessed people until social media came.

I have a Facebook and Twitter.

I went from 110 to 35 friends on Facebook because of politics within the last few months.

I have 7,000+ followers on Twitter, and none of them talk to me regularly.

So is it crucial to friendships? I don't think so.

I used to have many friends i talked to in the past 2-3 years in facebook , and now i consider to distance myself from that addiction named "Facebook" ..... I just happen to find out why girls are so distanced from guys especially in there , and i think this facebook thing is a waste of time. Nowadays every 2nd person has facebook , posting random shitty things and trying to seek approval and validation from all other people so he can be "likeable" "famous" and that kind of stupid things.

But it's hard , i just don't know how i will get over it but i will.
Also , facebook makes people feel depressed , lonely and drawing all of their energy on watching other successful people and makes people look at them like some celebrities and models. I'd rather live a life with few to 5-6 people we both can depend on, than this stupid app full of idiots.

Another alternative if someone can't fully stop the facebook and online dating / chats , is Omegle. It has many countries , including mine.
I don't know if in this forum there is anyone that is from my country , but i don't care. I like it here.
At least in omegle you have higher chance of having fun with people and they are opened to new people .

Also , facebook should NOT be a place for you to rate yourself as a person. You and what you do in real life is what a person should be looking at. Not some facebook , not some instagram , not some online dating sites , and not from random strangers giving their opinion.

^ Amen

Facebook will make you seem like you have more friends than you do. I have listed friends on facebook who wouldn't give two shits if I dropped off the face of the earth. Although I try to be active and comment on my friends' photos and statuses, it doesn't really get reciprocated and I am wary of posting things because I feel like they are rolling their eyes on the other side of the screen when I post it. Now I tend to unfollow people who never respond to me. My friend list has hovered around the same number for about 5 years because I keep filtering out the ones I don't think I will ever speak with again. I dunno if what I'm saying is a good contribution to the conversation, just my two cents.

Tealeaf said:

An interesting quote from a coworker today. He said it half-jokingly, but I think he may have believed it a little, too. We were chatting a bit in the kitchen when I tuned in to hear this.

Is this something people often think? That using Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc, is crucial to friendships and socializing. I know a lot of people who don't use them much, but it seems Internet and phone time is only increasing so people must be doing something. What is it? I very rarely meet good people online, so I can't imagine using Facebook to actually make friends would be beneficial.

One coworker said she had a sick friend who didn't update her own friends directly (including those who don't use Facebook) on how treatments were going. She just posted it online.

Click to expand...

There is no guarantee that you will make more friends on facebook.

Sun35 said:

Tealeaf said:

An interesting quote from a coworker today. He said it half-jokingly, but I think he may have believed it a little, too. We were chatting a bit in the kitchen when I tuned in to hear this.

Is this something people often think? That using Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc, is crucial to friendships and socializing. I know a lot of people who don't use them much, but it seems Internet and phone time is only increasing so people must be doing something. What is it? I very rarely meet good people online, so I can't imagine using Facebook to actually make friends would be beneficial.

One coworker said she had a sick friend who didn't update her own friends directly (including those who don't use Facebook) on how treatments were going. She just posted it online.

Click to expand...

There is no guarantee that you will make more friends on facebook.

Click to expand...

I don't think anything in Tealeaf's post suggested it was.

I view facebook as a place where friendships die, or at the very best light, where they freeze in time.

for me at least its where distant relatives, old roomates, people who I used to hang out with (but moved away) or former coworkers are. A socially acceptable way for someone who doesn't keep in touch with you in person to read the cliff notes of your life in the shortest amount of time possible.

Part of the reason why im here personally is because I lack that strong social bond with a small group of people, but have plenty of these "facebook friends"

I have a close friend who met most of her exes through facebook. They're exes for a reason. You can certainly meet great people online, but social media generally isn't the place to do so, although I do find it helps you maintain some relationships you might otherwise not.

I became "friends" with people on FB via groups, because I had no real-life friends. So I just began networking with people who had similar interests and convictions. I found like this whole little connected niche of pessimists and nihilists, who some of them are actually decent, others are mentally messed up. 

I guess it serves as a distraction, if anything. None of them really give a fresia about me, or vice versa, even though we mechanically like or comment on one another's posts. It's actually depressing as fresia.

I have a Facebook account and it seems if you're not posting happy thoughts constantly, most people ignore you. It brings me down, I've often closed my laptop crying after checking on it, countless times. I also don't care how pretty the girls are who love to post themselves in demeaning ways with the "I need sex face." Nor do I care to see a picture of your lunch, or your awesome vacation when I haven't been on one in years. I admit I'm pretty negative right now, but at least here you're not persecuted for it. (Well, I haven't been yet). I prefer to always be honest and I have a hard time believing everyone on Facebook is as happy as they pretend to be. Good for them if they are, especially the "friends" who were once actual "real life" friends. Plus once you make a page, deleting it is a pain. I wouldn't recommend it, but that's just my opinion. I haven't really tried any of the other social sites.

Facebook makes me feel more lonely ... As social friend post their photos of adventures , with their love and success . when I see them enjoying their life I feel regret .. Why can't me ..

I use facebook but I don't post much. I have met some people in the groups. I've gotten a lot of use out of them for learning things and some networking. Also most of the group meetups and BBQs (going to one this Thursday for example) and events that I go to are organized through Facebook so it hasn't been so bad for me.

Perhaps we should retitle the thread 'Maybe if I didn't use Facebook, I'd feel okay about myself'. It seems to have a unique ability to make already vulnerable people feel sad and ashamed.