Everytime i get rid of bad people , yet again i meet them and it keeps repeating

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owmygod

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Hello...
Not trying to be a drama queen or something , but there are certain types of people that i find hard to deal with , and in a second im gonna explain why and which kind.
First of all , i don't think i'm a bad person or an a-hole , i'm trying to be positive and supporting the people who i see need and deserve support around me. But for some strange reason from school till today i always seem to get a-holes , jerks and idiots draw them to me like a magnet. Sometimes they wish we should be friends , and don't have bad intensions , but in other times some of them are abusive and trying to compete with me (because of how i look good to others and they find me interesting , so they look at me like some competition for them and are envy) .... LOL ! So why i always draw people like these to me? Yes , im a bit distant , different from others and not acting like a jerk and some clown , and people want to  get to know me , but even so these so called bad people (toxic , a-holes and even jealous haters) keep coming back.. Yes online it's easy because with 1 click you can forget it all , but in real life it's totally different story.
Now let's not get too dramatic and think of what and why i'm lacking to have the nerve and courage to deal with them? Maybe some of them i shall befriend (maybe they are not all so bad as i though) , but for others that are clearly like an enemy to me without any particular reason... I don't get why that happens. Do i need to get the loudest and clown acting dude to not be 'picked as quiet and easy to be taken advantage of' ? I certainly can keep my calm at some of these situations , but let's say things get more serious - like threats , trash talk and etc... i think i'm not used to that kind of conversations and maybe that's why i hate that. I've been also raised to not get into confrontations and fights with others , but rather to do it with words. Still , i think some situations can't get without a fight but not in work , not everytime! Fight should be the last thing you do and if it's necessary , but that shouldn't stop me if i want to join a boxing club or other sport. :D  On the other side , i can't look always at the people and the others to be the 'bad ones', maybe its something in me? Maybe im the one who needs change in behavior and thinking , and dealing with these kind of situations and people. Maybe i need for my character to get strenghen  and face my demons :)

P.S , aside from the topic there are many ideas i got , this year i hope i can get more talkative to new people , friends , and what i like and even uncomfortable situations , not stay away but rather face the fears. :)
Let's hope things go well and people will notice that too , but because of myself , not only because of them :p

It's cool to have a forum like this , but also taking responsible actions and  changing things is what it's for , anway i really like that there are so many understanding and great people. Hope at the end of the year i can rite my progress here , hehe
 
I have the same problem.

First... I tend to attract people openly. So I am considered an open personality. I am not picky. I think that message goes out loud and clear. So I attract I wide base.  But most people are picky so after a while I lose most of the best because they have friends and only like to have their cliques

Then when I find people who are not suitable... they are so rejected by the rest of society they cling to me because they know.. everyone else weeds them out fast. They won't let me go and that keeps me with them. 

I am also not rude enough. I like to tell people to leave by subtle hints which they don't get. 

I have come to some conclusions.. before saying hello or seemingly be friendly I cut back and try to stay away. If I think after a while they are worthy.. then I go with full gusto. 

I have tried not to be friendly. If the first 3 months of say a new employee... I stay more blaze. I also find a weird effect is that they are more respectful to me and more interested in me if I am slow to be overly friendly.

I tend to a lot independently so I am alone a lot. This makes these people... think that I am in the market for a new BFF. So I have been trying to keep people with me when ever I am doing anything. Going to lunch with a few friends or just finding someone on the way and talk with them. Most of my life I have had no problem doing things by myself and eschewed having to have someone with me. But I think there is a method to their madness.
 
^You say you're not picky, implying you're morally superior to those who are, yet you describe other people who have been rejected as "not suitable", while holding back on getting to know others until they are deemed worthy.

That sounds like a status thing to me (and maybe you're not in a position to be as picky as you would like...) Not that's there's necessarily anything wrong with having standards.
 
ardour said:
^You say you're not picky, implying you're morally superior to those who are,  yet you describe other people who have been rejected as "not suitable", while holding back on getting to know others until they are deemed worthy.

That sounds like a  status thing to me  (and maybe you're not in a position to be as picky as you would like...) Not that's there's necessarily anything wrong with having standards.

You got me. It is all me. Yup. 

HAD it to death with having toxic users in my life. Not going to do it anymore if it means I live like a hermit.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
ardour said:
^You say you're not picky, implying you're morally superior to those who are,  yet you describe other people who have been rejected as "not suitable", while holding back on getting to know others until they are deemed worthy.

That sounds like a  status thing to me  (and maybe you're not in a position to be as picky as you would like...) Not that's there's necessarily anything wrong with having standards.

You got me. It is all me. Yup. 

HAD it to death with having toxic users in my life. Not going to do it anymore if it means I live like a hermit.

Nevermind
 
Emily , i think you're like me in some aspects. I don't always go for the friendship fast and without waiting , i think all things need time.
Second , i didn't talk about rejected people or that kind of stuff. Yes , i've been dealing with people like that , but in reality nobody wants to be overlooked and rejected , they are people like me and you , and sometimes if they are mature enough they would understand their wrongs and maybe fix them , and who knows they are not so bad as you think? Hehe , just talking from experience.
Of course there are people who don't fix their wrongs and repeat it again and again , in that situation i think staying away from them is the way , but without hurting them with words or etc...

So for the record , i think that maybe i should learn to surround myself with people who we have some things in common , and the jerks and other types i mentioned above in the post will dissapear , maybe they come to a person when they think he is an easy target and trying to bully him. That i will NOT tolerate , i don't think disrespectful people to others should be tolerated. Arrogance , mean behavior towards someone is unacceptable. After all , who are they to act in that way to somebody else? Just a bunch of haters that don't have a life.
Done with this thread , thank you.
 

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