53, divorced ten years, and very lonely

Hi. 
I notice tons of really young people which surprises me quite a bit. When I was twenty, there were only arcade games at bars and convenience stores, no internet. I guess the Net has had great benefits but has isolated us all.

Whatever your age, we're all here because we're lonely. I also suffer terrible depression along with the loneliness. I hope I can make some friends here.

I am a U.S. citizen, grew up there, but my life since age 22 has been in Asia, where I married and raised my kids. I've been in China nearly 5 years now, before that Japan. I have been sober from alcohol of nearly 9 years, if anyone can relate to that.

Good to be here.

Philip

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Just testing replies.

Welcome to the forum Philip. Sorry to hear about your depression and loneliness. Hope you can find some support here and things improve for you.

Hi Philip welcome
Sorry to hear that.
Anyway you've come to right pitstop
Here you can take lots of petrol,food and happiness for your whole life journey.. We guarantee it.

Welcome aboard
And congrats on your sobriety.

United we stand, welcome.

Nice to have you here! I'm a decade older than you, USA citizen born overseas and grew up as an ex-pat in Hong Kong and I've been sober for 16 years.

Welcome philip, hope you'll find what you're looking for here on ALL

Hi. I am interested : what work do you do in China?

If I was your age, I would kill a few people and blow my brains out.

You can buy a gun in your state, right?

NewOrder2016 said:

If I was your age, I would kill a few people and blow my brains out.

You can buy a gun in your state, right?

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No, this kind of talk is not permitted here.  This is the second time I've had to warn you about something inappropriate that you've said, don't make there be a third.

I'm 50, so nice to see an older poster like myself on here. Also male and long term single. I would think China would be an interesting place to live, sorry to hear that you're finding it a lonely place.

Welcome to the forum, LaoDing!

The bad emotions that we feel are depression, stress and boredom.

The only way to get rid of them is to learn about them and how to treat them.

I use books to do that.

Misha8 said:

Hi. I am interested : what work do you do in China?

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ha ha I like to think of myself as a linguist and lecturer but my job description is English Instructor. I work at a college. I'm a double major in Poli Sci (history) and Japanese (linguistics) and that's pretty much what I've been interested in all my life!

I used to be quite romantic but all of that's imploded now. I feel like the fallen cake out of the oven. I live day by day. China doesn't bother me like most Westerners I know. lol

Variously said:

I'm 50, so nice to see an older poster like myself on here. Also male and long term single. I would think China would be an interesting place to live, sorry to hear that you're finding it a lonely place.

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No, it's not the place. It's the person. I've been lonely all my life. Even at 5 I remember being lonely...

Hi All, well I think that it does not matter where you live.... if you are not in some way outgoing then you end up lonely...... but when you are younger there are many people around of similar age and then as you get older most of those people are in relationships, married etc so they disappear. Which makes it more difficult to connect with others........

LaoDing said:

Variously said:

I'm 50, so nice to see an older poster like myself on here. Also male and long term single. I would think China would be an interesting place to live, sorry to hear that you're finding it a lonely place.

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No, it's not the place. It's the person. I've been lonely all my life. Even at 5 I remember being lonely...

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I am realising and accepting this about myself too. I used to think that if I changed my circumstances, location, partner, job or whatever that things would be better, easier somehow. I don't change though so the negative feelings of depression, loneliness and self loathing keep coming back. It's so tiresome to know that I will be this way the rest of my life. I hope I don't get too old(!) but since I got sober I feel that getting old is a possibility. I always just figured that I would quietly drink myself to death. Now I have even stopped smoking. I always sabotage my thoughts of dying prematurely by getting regular exercise and eating my five a day. Like, I don't want to feel rough. I should take up a dangerous hobby but I am too cowardly and shy. Maybe I will learn to juggle Samurai swords blindfolded, on rollerskates (at home) or something.

You speak Cantonese? I can utter a few words, mostly cuss words. Mandarin, not so much.

Welcome, la!

Variously said:

I'm 50, so nice to see an older poster like myself on here. Also male and long term single. I would think China would be an interesting place to live, sorry to hear that you're finding it a lonely place.

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Funny that China is the most populous country on the planet.  What's that famous quote about cities?  "Millions of people all being lonely together."

LaoDing said:

Hi. 
I notice tons of really young people which surprises me quite a bit. When I was twenty, there were only arcade games at bars and convenience stores, no internet. I guess the Net has had great benefits but has isolated us all.

Whatever your age, we're all here because we're lonely. I also suffer terrible depression along with the loneliness. I hope I can make some friends here.

I am a U.S. citizen, grew up there, but my life since age 22 has been in Asia, where I married and raised my kids. I've been in China nearly 5 years now, before that Japan. I have been sober from alcohol of nearly 9 years, if anyone can relate to that.

Good to be here.

Philip

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Just testing replies.

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I grew up in the same era, you had to go out to play asteroids or Pac man or pinball, and every game cost a quarter LOL. Yea it was a better time in many ways.

I'm also sober almost 4 years now. First time I was 19 and put about 8 years together, went back out, had a decent run for another 20 plus years until things starting getting outta control real fast. 

Welcome !!!
Joe