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Something I noticed
#1
I have been suffering from mental illness for the past 11 years. All the people I have known in the past who had been suffering from mental illness eventually got cured, in that they no longer suffer anymore. Some are still on meds, others are not. But they tell me they are no longer depressed and that they lead normal lives. Some say it just went away on its own, others say spirituality cured them, others say going off of meds cured them, others say a combination of meds did it; but none of these things has helped me as I tried all of them. I feel like there is something wrong with me in that I never gotten “cured”. I’ve tried coming off of meds didn’t work, I went back on meds, still suffering. I’ve tried so many things with the help from other people a lot of times, and nothing worked. It just keeps going and going, and I still feel the same as I did five years ago, even ten years ago. I feel like I am the only person around that has never gotten better. It makes me think that I should just give up and die, I already gave up on many things in life, and it seems like the only thing that is left is for my life to end or to live in this misery for the rest of me life.

This is never ending and seeing every single person be cured expect for me, make me feel so horrible, like I am some type of dog that needs to be put out of their misery. Nothing has changed at all, I still feel the same way I have for 11 years. Can anyone else relate?
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#2
I've been dealing with depression for at least 18 years now, and so far nothing has worked for me. I was put on a medication called Paxil early on, but that brought out a lot of anger for some reason and didn't really do anything else. The only other medication I was on was Prozac, but that just made it worse and gave me suicidal thoughts. Nothing I've tried has helped so far, and I don't know if anything is going to help at this point. I have no help anymore from anyone around me, my parents seem to just expect me to do this on my own and I no longer have any real life friends. Taking the meds didn't work, and not taking them didn't work either. Smoking weed was the only thing that helped me at all, but with no job and no friends to hook me up with it I don't have access to that anymore and my depression is worse than ever now. So often I feel like I should just give up and give in and wait to die.

So yeah I can relate to what you've been through. It has ruined my life and sometimes I just don't see a way out of it. Sad
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#3
People dont get "cured". They get "management". They learn to manage their illness. Diabetes doesn't go away because your blood sugars are under control with insulin.
For some, depression is situational or temporary. So, yes, in those instances, there is a cure. There are people who have chronic depression or chronic mental illness. If you fall into that category, then you need to learn to manage your illness in a way that makes your life more healthy. You have not have yet found what works for you. So, you need to just keep going forward. I don't believe meds are the sole answer. You need a good combination of Talk therapy, counseling. You also need good nutrition, daily exercise , hobbies and other things in life. You need ALL of those to overcome this. Exercise is just as important as daily meds. So, is eating right and treating your body well. Getting a good night's sleep. Doing things out of your comfort zone. Go and volunteer at the Food bank. Buy some new clothes, get a hair cut, and act AS IF you already felt better.
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#4
Yeah, I'm not totally sure if that's something that can be really cured. Managing, as dd11 said, is more suitable. I don't have anything myself, but my uncle does, and I've seen how it affects him in even the smallest way. When I was little, I knew that he had mental illness, but was never really around him. In later years, however, I had to learn how to understand and handle him, because my mom took him in when my grandmother passed away. He wouldn't hurt a fly, and he's a very well-mannered person, and to me, that's all I see. Yes, he has mental issues, but I always say that there's nothing wrong with him. He's actually off of all those meds he used to take, and only gets one shot a month for anything related to his mental illness.

It might be something that never fades away for you, but don't think that you're alone. A lot more people than you think deal with the same things, thinking the same thing you do about it. My uncle is in his 50's, and has had these disorders for more than half his life. He's fallen off the wagon many times, but he always seems to get right back to where he belongs. And he's very strict about doing so. It's definitely manageable, but it'll probably be something that you really have to set yourself to do. Find what it is that helps you the most.
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#5
Thanks for the feedback guys.
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#6
lilE, take care, and good luck!
They always said it was "temporary turbulence in the teenage years" and that it "would be better". Everything that changed is that I'm starting to learn the pattern, and instead of settling for anger or wanting to depart, I'm now "used to" facing this voidlike thing, with the knowledge the tough moments will appear, they will be suffered through, then they will fade into neutrality, and then reappear again, for an unknown length of time, possibly til my last day. Not a too bright thought, but I do what I can to see the neat things - to do what I like, to laugh, to care, to hope that I one day could help someone from having to feel worse than I have, or to at least let society see that it is okay to be that way.
Some things need no cure, and sometimes a cure is not what one would think it would be. A kinder society might be a part of a cure, in my opinion.
Once again, best wishes! ^_^
Are you sure we're on the right way, Yoda?
Off course, we are.

The snow angel was imperfect but so is everyone. It was there, and that is what matters. Maybe someone would see it, and smile.
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#7
Hi, this may not help but I'll try.

I have suffered from depression since I was 15. I'm now 62. Apart from a few times in my life when I was lucky enough to fall in love (they all ended badly lol) it has been pretty consistently shit.
I was on citalopram for a number of years, and before that used weed on a daily basis (which in hindsight only made me feel worse.)

Today has not been a good day, but I noticed that the only part of it which was ok, was the part where I visited the old peoples home. I always make a point of being kind to the Carers, and treating all the old people there as if they are my own relatives. For the hour I was there, I didn't feel bad once. It gradually settled back on me, but better than it was.

Just something to try.....if not old people, then children or handicapped.....anything to get out of your own head...

Love and light, I know it hurts.x
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#8
Thanks Meaw and starlightdawn. I guess it is not possible to feel entirely bad 24/7 for the rest of your life, there will be moments when you feel different, better perhaps.
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