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What question do you hate to answer right now ?
#31
You make some good points there, Callie! I keep telling myself all the time that I should look at things differently.....actually I do have lots to be thankful for....hasn't improved my enjoyment of life quotient quite as much as I'd like though. Not yet, but on some issues things have improved for me in the last couple of years.

Nice to read some positive feedback directed at me and everyone else....thank you!
Be here now.
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#32
I used to hate variations of "When are you going back to school?", but that line of questioning has stopped for the time being. Sometimes I don't like "What's going on?" or "What's new with you?", but that depends on whether I'm in the mood to discuss my personal life.
"I could settle not to see you again, but I would rather you were brought to an end."
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#33
"So yeah, I can be a little offended by some peoples' assuming the right to ask personal questions that seem a bit intrusive to me. That's my business and my prerogative."

No-one is suggesting it isn't. It's merely an observation that you can't take offence at questions as relatively harmless as that then expect anything other than the same kind of aloofness from others.
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#34
(04-25-2017, 05:03 PM)ardour Wrote: "So yeah, I can be a little offended by some peoples' assuming the right to ask personal questions that seem a bit intrusive to me.  That's my business and my prerogative."

No-one is suggesting it isn't. It's merely an observation that you can't  take offence at questions as relatively harmless as that then expect anything other than the same kind of aloofness from others.

Most introverted people (not all) would rather not have penetrating questions asked (such as updates on a life that never changes), except maybe from the most intimate of relationship partners.

When you really think about it, the concept of asking "what's new, how's school, how's so-and-so" are really social niceties; small talk that we use, almost by default, in order to talk with people that we wouldn't otherwise have as much to converse with. Most of the time, your answer doesn't REALLY matter, but the common sentiment, on here, seems to be a feeling of inadequacy- not having a meaningful answer, but getting asked every time, anyways. Regardless of our reason for being lonely (or not at all, in some cases), there seems to be a common theme of introverted privacy desires.
This above all: to thine ownself be true.
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a person needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. A man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.





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#35
(04-25-2017, 10:19 PM)Hoarse Whisperer Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 05:03 PM)ardour Wrote: "So yeah, I can be a little offended by some peoples' assuming the right to ask personal questions that seem a bit intrusive to me.  That's my business and my prerogative."

No-one is suggesting it isn't. It's merely an observation that you can't  take offence at questions as relatively harmless as that then expect anything other than the same kind of aloofness from others.

Most introverted people (not all) would rather not have penetrating questions asked (such as updates on a life that never changes), except maybe from the most intimate of relationship partners.

When you really think about it, the concept of asking "what's new, how's school, how's so-and-so" are really social niceties; small talk that we use, almost by default, in order to talk with people that we wouldn't otherwise have as much to converse with. Most of the time, your answer doesn't REALLY matter, but the common sentiment, on here, seems to be a feeling of inadequacy- not having a meaningful answer, but getting asked every time, anyways. Regardless of our reason for being lonely (or not at all, in some cases), there seems to be a common theme of introverted privacy desires.

That comes pretty close to it for me, HW......my daily life is single handedly coping with the decline and the sooner rather than later death of a very difficult mother.......that isn't a subject for small talk and niceties; it also isn't appropriate for explaining to casual acquaintances.  So do I get "a little offended" when people who don't know me too well say I "look glum"?  Yeah I guess I do and I pretty much try to keep that to myself by the way.....It's possible some of these people who feel free enough to voice their judgments of my facial expressions might notice I'm not very grateful for their comments and respond with their own "aloofness" or something.....I'm not losing any sleep over that, I've got tougher issues to manage.

Actually this whole cycle of "why do you look glum?"; "what gives you the right to ask?"; "oh, then aloofness back to you"......it all seems so unnecessary.  If an amiably intended comment in the social nicety category hits a sensitive nerve, would it not be the appropriate response to quietly back off and respect the person's feelings?
Be here now.
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#36
So you're going through a lot at the moment and don't appreciate it... fair enough.
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