Hello.
This is my first post.
I am not going to be saying my name for many reasons, so please do not judge, as I already have enough of that as you will read.
This is going to be a rather long post, so please bear with me. Also, if you want to answer to this thread, please read all the way through, because I don't want a 'just try harder and push on'. I want an answer that will actually help me though.
So let the story begin: (this is only the big stuff there are LOTS more 'incident's' that I don't have the time to write out)
It was last year around September on '16. I was in band sectionals. (Ya know, the horrible idea of making us wake up an hour earlier then usual to practice band?) and we had gotten a new piece to play, and a rather fun one. But, it required a few instruments that we didn't already own. (I am in percussion, so we play many different things). One of said instruments was a rain stick, which was kindly provided by another student. FYI: we never got along. I grabbed it and said thank you, and went to my little corner to set up everything else for the piece. We had started to play, and when I flipped the stick over to play it, I noticed a rather large crack along the side of the wood, and it was spilling out dust. So I went over to the classmate and told him that it was 'leaking'. And of course, as everyone does, they blamed it on me. First off, if you have ever owned a rain stick you know that its not super easy to break them. Secondly, I am pretty weak, so I am very confused as how I could have broken it. We start arguing, me telling him that is highly unlikely that I broke it. But being the person he is, he continues to tell me that its my fault the 15 year old rain stick broke. 15 years! No wonder it had a crack. Its old! And wood ages, and as it does it cracks due to moisture loss. I explain this to him, and he just blows me off. Then the whole class starts yelling at me that I broke it.
So I had to buy a rain stick, which thankfully they are not very expensive. I brought it to the next sectional and he comes up to me, grabbing the stick and saying 'Thanks for getting me a new rains stick to replace the one you broke'. Not only rubbing it in, but taking the stick I bought, and taking it. I follow him and explain that its not a replacement, but just so I can play the piece! And we go on and on about it, and he wins. Not because he is smarter, or knows the truth, but because the whole class backs him up.
Now fast forward to January and February of this year. He now starts taking my rather expensive mallets and using them for things that they shouldn't be used for. When I found out they were missing, I instantly knew it was him, so I go up to him and ask for my mallets, which he tries and hides behind his back. I tell him that I just saw them, and he plays dumb. I go around him and grab them, but he doesn't let go. He pulls back, and it takes me a good few minuets to pry them out of his grimy hands, and almost braking them. Again there not cheap! And his good friend, who ironically was a friend of mine, just stands there laughing at me trying to take my stuff back.
Today was the big concert, and we were all sitting outside the stage, just waiting for the band before us to finish. While we wait, they were all talking about how a friend of mine, lets call him 5, was so 'cute' and how he was so perfect, and how he had 'no enemies ion the world'. I was just sitting there, as they all talked about how good his life was and blah blah. Then they gave him a group hug, and I just sat there about to cry. They praise him, and they all despise me. Why I don't know. Im a very generous person, extremely kind, helpful, and empathetic. Whats not to like?
After performing, on the bus, they put away the heavy stuff and I took my assigned things, and load them onto the bus. But, after a rough tern, things start falling, and they all start yelling 'insert my name here!' and how its ALL my fault that stuff was falling over. I wasn't even loading the things that were falling. That was very annoying.
We arrive back at school. I have to walk past him, and he not only tried to block my way, he tries to trip me! Hes been pushing and shoving me around, but never has he tried to trip me.
I go to class, again almost in tears. I just don't know what to do anymore.
And for those of you who want to say 'Tell a teacher or something'. That never works. All they do is politely tell them (imagine in super sweet voice) 'Please stop bothering him, that's not nice'. Do you think that stops anything? No. It makes it worse, because they found out that you are bending in to them, and their strategy is working. Also tells them you told the teacher.
And on top of all this, teachers, friends, and parents are all treating my like crap. Out of the blue too. And my dearest companion, my cat, has gotten more and more aggressive. He has always been somewhat aggressive, but now hes just gotten worse. I always thought that if you help someone or something (like my cat, who was a rescue), it would be repaid, but it seems that the exact opposite is true. No longer do I believe that helping = they'll help you. Now its you help, the world said thanks and continues to treat you like crap.
My friends all have lovely and the best cats, there nice, not aggressive, they love to cuddle, be picked up, basically a cat that is perfect for me. And I'm so jealous of them with their amazing cats and I'm stuck with mine, a mean, you touch one you get hissed at cat, who only does stuff for food.
Unfortunately, suicide is become a common thought. I think if I do, (which as of right now I don't ever plan to!) I could leave a dramatic note and blame it on them, hoping that they would start to treat others, like me, better in the future. Another reason is because since people have always treated ,me differently, then for the rest of my life ill be treated the same. Sure there are people who escaped this, but they are few and far apart. So might as well end it all if there is no point in getting people to at least recognize my presence. Again I don't EVER want to do this!
What do I do? I'm lost and depressed at the fact that a person like me is getting pushed around. I am always pushed out of activities, and always singled out to work alone. I LOVE being alone, but I don't want to be exiled out of everything.
Thank you for reading this long and probably boring post.
-Insert name here
This is my first post.
I am not going to be saying my name for many reasons, so please do not judge, as I already have enough of that as you will read.
This is going to be a rather long post, so please bear with me. Also, if you want to answer to this thread, please read all the way through, because I don't want a 'just try harder and push on'. I want an answer that will actually help me though.
So let the story begin: (this is only the big stuff there are LOTS more 'incident's' that I don't have the time to write out)
It was last year around September on '16. I was in band sectionals. (Ya know, the horrible idea of making us wake up an hour earlier then usual to practice band?) and we had gotten a new piece to play, and a rather fun one. But, it required a few instruments that we didn't already own. (I am in percussion, so we play many different things). One of said instruments was a rain stick, which was kindly provided by another student. FYI: we never got along. I grabbed it and said thank you, and went to my little corner to set up everything else for the piece. We had started to play, and when I flipped the stick over to play it, I noticed a rather large crack along the side of the wood, and it was spilling out dust. So I went over to the classmate and told him that it was 'leaking'. And of course, as everyone does, they blamed it on me. First off, if you have ever owned a rain stick you know that its not super easy to break them. Secondly, I am pretty weak, so I am very confused as how I could have broken it. We start arguing, me telling him that is highly unlikely that I broke it. But being the person he is, he continues to tell me that its my fault the 15 year old rain stick broke. 15 years! No wonder it had a crack. Its old! And wood ages, and as it does it cracks due to moisture loss. I explain this to him, and he just blows me off. Then the whole class starts yelling at me that I broke it.
So I had to buy a rain stick, which thankfully they are not very expensive. I brought it to the next sectional and he comes up to me, grabbing the stick and saying 'Thanks for getting me a new rains stick to replace the one you broke'. Not only rubbing it in, but taking the stick I bought, and taking it. I follow him and explain that its not a replacement, but just so I can play the piece! And we go on and on about it, and he wins. Not because he is smarter, or knows the truth, but because the whole class backs him up.
Now fast forward to January and February of this year. He now starts taking my rather expensive mallets and using them for things that they shouldn't be used for. When I found out they were missing, I instantly knew it was him, so I go up to him and ask for my mallets, which he tries and hides behind his back. I tell him that I just saw them, and he plays dumb. I go around him and grab them, but he doesn't let go. He pulls back, and it takes me a good few minuets to pry them out of his grimy hands, and almost braking them. Again there not cheap! And his good friend, who ironically was a friend of mine, just stands there laughing at me trying to take my stuff back.
Today was the big concert, and we were all sitting outside the stage, just waiting for the band before us to finish. While we wait, they were all talking about how a friend of mine, lets call him 5, was so 'cute' and how he was so perfect, and how he had 'no enemies ion the world'. I was just sitting there, as they all talked about how good his life was and blah blah. Then they gave him a group hug, and I just sat there about to cry. They praise him, and they all despise me. Why I don't know. Im a very generous person, extremely kind, helpful, and empathetic. Whats not to like?
After performing, on the bus, they put away the heavy stuff and I took my assigned things, and load them onto the bus. But, after a rough tern, things start falling, and they all start yelling 'insert my name here!' and how its ALL my fault that stuff was falling over. I wasn't even loading the things that were falling. That was very annoying.
We arrive back at school. I have to walk past him, and he not only tried to block my way, he tries to trip me! Hes been pushing and shoving me around, but never has he tried to trip me.
I go to class, again almost in tears. I just don't know what to do anymore.
And for those of you who want to say 'Tell a teacher or something'. That never works. All they do is politely tell them (imagine in super sweet voice) 'Please stop bothering him, that's not nice'. Do you think that stops anything? No. It makes it worse, because they found out that you are bending in to them, and their strategy is working. Also tells them you told the teacher.
And on top of all this, teachers, friends, and parents are all treating my like crap. Out of the blue too. And my dearest companion, my cat, has gotten more and more aggressive. He has always been somewhat aggressive, but now hes just gotten worse. I always thought that if you help someone or something (like my cat, who was a rescue), it would be repaid, but it seems that the exact opposite is true. No longer do I believe that helping = they'll help you. Now its you help, the world said thanks and continues to treat you like crap.
My friends all have lovely and the best cats, there nice, not aggressive, they love to cuddle, be picked up, basically a cat that is perfect for me. And I'm so jealous of them with their amazing cats and I'm stuck with mine, a mean, you touch one you get hissed at cat, who only does stuff for food.
Unfortunately, suicide is become a common thought. I think if I do, (which as of right now I don't ever plan to!) I could leave a dramatic note and blame it on them, hoping that they would start to treat others, like me, better in the future. Another reason is because since people have always treated ,me differently, then for the rest of my life ill be treated the same. Sure there are people who escaped this, but they are few and far apart. So might as well end it all if there is no point in getting people to at least recognize my presence. Again I don't EVER want to do this!
What do I do? I'm lost and depressed at the fact that a person like me is getting pushed around. I am always pushed out of activities, and always singled out to work alone. I LOVE being alone, but I don't want to be exiled out of everything.
Thank you for reading this long and probably boring post.
-Insert name here
