Sci-Fi said:
Considering what you've told us of his sons, you should be asked especially since you have a kid in the house as well too, and have your and her safety to think about. It would be different if he was there more and had stricter rules for them that he actually followed up on it and parented his kids. You live there too, and end up have to put up with all their honeysuckle so you should be included.
You're exactly right. He is lax with them. His stance is that you have to give a young adult opportunities to make good decisions. Well, the problem is they DONT make good decisions! Because of that, I don't want to be responsible for them! As some of you might have read, my husband bought the 16 year old a car three weeks ago. I told both parents that he wasn't ready for that yet, that he isnt mature enough and hadnt logged enough supervised driving time.
Well, three days ago, he was speeding in the rain, hydroplaned and totaled the car. $5400 gone.
Luckily, he just had a few aches. He was very lucky. He wasn't even supposed to be driving the car - his brother was.
Their mom asked their dad if they could stay here an extra two days because she was on one of her mini vacations again (I was told after they agreed to it). Well, I left for work before he had to go to school. I had no idea that he'd called his mother, who was three hours away, and claimed to be sick.
She told him to go to school. Instead of getting his brother to drive (he has no parking pass for the school) he went on his own and thought to park at a nearby store and walk to school from there which, (if he wasn't ignorant to laws regarding that here) would get his car towed away.
I find out NONE of this until I get a call from her (I'm already at work, training my replacement) saying that stepson had hydroplaned and been in an accident and could I handle it, that she was hours away. I left work immediately (lost most of the day's wages) and arrived just as the police did. I made sure he didn't need an ambulance and wasn't hurt. I said nothing, other than asking fin he was ok, etc. I waited on the side of the road with him (in my car) for the tow truck and the officer to write his citation for driving too fast for conditions. Car was a total loss, bent the frame. He's lucky to be alive. I then took him home and waited another couple of hours for his mother to arrive.
Do I begrudge being needed in an emergency? Absolutely not. Did I mind taking care of her child until she picked him up? Of course not.
Do I mind being forced to be responsible for two young adults that don't have a thimble full of common sense and integrity between the two of them? Yes, I mind a great deal.
Why should I welcome them here when neither parent is around to be responsible for them when they break laws, drink, etc?
Why does their mother think it's perfectly acceptable to send them over here without their dad here? If they were kids who weren't constantly doing dangerous/stupid honeysuckle and I could set the rules for those times, Id be ok with them being here with their parents gone.
Is she really just that stupid, or is it that she's selfish and doesn't give a honeysuckle, as long as they aren't at HER house getting into trouble?!
Ugh.