Feeling beat down

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blumar

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Feb 21, 2010
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Sorry in advance for my venting...
I'm at a bit of a low point.  Most aspects of my life just seem to keep beating me down - I feel hit over the head by work, family, and friends.  My supervisor embarrassed me in front the team the other day only to find out that she had forgotten our multiple conversations about the direction of a project - this she told me outside the meeting.  She avoids me at work even when I ask how I can better help with projects.  It's not for lack of being a good employee.  I have excellent evaluations, do my work accurately, and on time.  I'm friendly with all my coworkers and always help when asked.  I feel let down and unwanted (for this example and others).  One of my family members has stage IV cancer.  It seemed to had stabilized (meaning it was manageable) at the beginning of this year but now another symptom has presented which will result in blindness.  Finally, I have lost a friendship of 15 years - we just drifted apart.  So, I'm depressed, lonely, and stuck.  I have one friend left who I talk to on the phone but no one else.  I've tried to meet new people, even tried online dating.  But when you are a female on the verge of 40, most men are not interested.  Many of them want children and I'm just too old - why try for a 40-ish year old female when a guy can get someone in their mid-thirties.  I get it, it just still hurts.  So, I'm having a difficult weekend trying to sort out work, family, and keeping the last friend I have.
 
Hi there ,
try to be strong ,sorry to hear about your family member's illness.
if you want to talk you can freely p.m me.
 
Hi there, I'm feeling pretty beat down myself. Like you I just feel depressed, lonely and stuck. My life has pretty much ended it seems, it looks as if I'm just waiting on my time to come since nothing else ever happens. Right now I have nothing other than a few online friends. I have no job, no money, no car, nothing really. I can understand what it's like to struggle especially with depression, I've dealt with depression for at least 18 years now and I've let it ruin my life. I can't seem to get going, so I feel completely stuck. There's no one around me that seems to care, my family doesn't seem to care and I have no friends outside of the internet anymore. Loneliness is a horrible feeling for me, I feel like it's the main cause of my depression.

Anyway, I'm truly sorry about your family member, it's never a good thing when someone you care for is in that sort of situation. If you ever need someone to try and chat with feel free to message me, it will probably be good for me too if you did. Take care.
 
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well. It sounds like you have a raw deal with what is going on in your life right now, but you seem like a resilient person who can handle whatever comes her way. ;) It sucks that your supervisor is not recognizing your hard work. It sounds like he or she has issues. The only thing you can really do is keep doing your best at your job and hope for something better to occur.

I understand the loneliness and the falling out of touch with friends; that can be hard to handle. Cancer is an awful thing to have to deal with as well. Sometimes it's good to vent and just have the opportunity to spell out your frustrations. I hope that things get better for you. You hang in there.
 

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