Unemployed Again

Always fun to go back and see what I have not been at for a while.  I guess I just need to get some anxiety out.  I just lost my job again, this is twice and I did not even make it through the year.  I was told it was cut backs and changes but... yeah I guess I am just taking up space and I knew one guy hated me on my team for some reason.  I have been to 4 interviews thus far and no takers.  My money is only going to last another 3 months at best... and... yeah I just spiral spiral spiral....  my last hunt took me 6 months.... who knows...

I have crashed and burned over these past years... I know it is all my fault.... all the weight I lost I gained back and then some... I have sleep apnea and well... all sorts of stuff that comes with being fat.  I have even taken up the vice of drinking lots of beer... I cannot commit to anything or do anything right... I do not know... I should do something, I cannot fit in chairs anymore... I broke a chair in  a recruiters office... I cannot fit in the chairs on planes or at the movies... it is a struggle just to stand up or do other necessary things.

Yeah... to top that all off I am anxious to see if I will get an interview next week and if I got a job from last week... and.... it is just hard to keep your head high and have confidence... especially when you can pass coding tests and phone screens with ease and then some how bomb things in the face to face.  

I do not know.. I am just complaining... I have been sitting staring at a wall for an hour that is how depressed I am right now.

Sorry to hear you're in a tough spot. I'd like to hear how things work out....
I'm reminded of a comment attributed to Samuel Beckett that described his younger years.....he tried out his ambitions and failed so he resolved to keep trying and fail better.
It was his smartass way of saying he wouldn't give up.
Your overweight may have crossed into the obesity zone. That's health endangering to say nothing of being a setback in the job search.
Sorry to state the obvious there.

I hope things get better for you, FrozenSoul. I am unemployed as well and it is frustrating to have interview after interview with no job when you think that the interviews are going well. I lost my job due to health issues and I was not even a year at it, and now I feel like employers see me as a liability due to my lack of long term experience on my resume. I graduated with a bachelor's relatively recently and it was difficult to find a job at the small town I went to college at, although again I had interviews. I tried my hardest, but no one will bite. I do not know what is wrong with my interviewing skills - I am trying my hardest to be attentive, to keep eye contact, to answer honestly yet succinctly, and to put my best foot forward. I guess that I am just trying to say is I know how you feel about the unemployment; you feel like a deadbeat and that everyone is looking down on you even though you are trying your hardest. Like I said, I hope that things work out for you soon. Just keep trying your hardest, FrozenSoul, because that is all you can do.

@constant stranger: Yes I agree that I cannot give up, it is just more difficult on some days to keep my resolve high.

I guess on the bright side now I can lose some of that weight because I have to conserve my money.

@wallflower79: Interviewing is the worst, I hate it especially since people who are better liars than me can convince people they are good for the job.