Any advice\tips?

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am4tic

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[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Hello everyone![/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]First a little bit about myself I guess. I am 29 (30 in a couple of moths) year old male. In all my 29 year old life, I have been single. I have always been quite the shy guy, and not a very attractive person (In my own opinion at least, and probably most others) During my life I have been on 7 dates, and never made it to a second date with any of them. I am thinking it must be beacuse of my shyness/nervousness and my lack of small talk skills.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]So, in the last 4-5 days, I have been chatting with this girl on a dating app. She seems like this awesome girl, who is really friendly, got a great sense of humor, and too topp it of, she is quite cute. And as pathetic this might sound, I think I am already starting to fall for her a little bit. So I really wanna ask her out, but at the same time I am so tierd of going on dates and getting rejected all the time. Also, I do decide to ask her out, and she says yes, I am gonna worry to death, that I will dissapoint her, when we meet.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Any advice/tips to do in a situation like this?[/font]
 
Did you worry everything to death on your other dates? That might be the part of the cause of the lack of second dates. When you overanalyze everything going on and try to control the situation with what you think THEY want, you'll usually end up screwing up. It's likely not what they want.

Are you being honest with her while you are talking online, not pretending to be something you aren't? If you are, stick with that. They like YOU, as you are talking to them. Don't try to be something you aren't. Don't try to control the situation. Just go with the flow and let the night/situation go where it will. Have a little faith in yourself.
 
"Did you worry everything to death on your other dates? " Pretty much yes, but it has gotten slightly better over time, as I have little more experience with dating now.

I am always honest with the girls I am chatting with. This girls I am talking with now, told me that one of her hobbys is camping. So I was honest with her, and said that I had never put up a tent in my life before :p I thinking that was gonna putt her off, but she continued chatting with me.
 
Don't worry so much, be yourself and be honest.

May sound cliche, but it's true.
You say you've never been camping before? That doesn't really matter, what matters is that you're interested in the IDEA of camping, or if you're not, interested in what she has to say about it.

Overanalyzing everything you do and everything they say is gonna put you in a bad position, you're never gonna get what you want because you're gonna be too focused on doing and saying the right thing as opposed to... Just being yourself. If you just be you, you don't have to worry about whether you screw up or not because they're either gonna like you for who you are, or they're not.
And you don't wanna be with someone who doesn't like you for who you are.

She'll keep talking to you as long as you're genuine, as she feels as though there's some spark.
 
Best advice I can have: Smile. Not like a freak, of course, just seem like you're happy to meet her (if you choose to do so). Don't be on your phone, either. Maybe tell her you're nervous?
 
So, she does wants to meet me.
I don't intend to be on the phone of course, and I have told her that I might get a bit nervous yes.
 
Reason why you didn't make it to the second date: You failed their test.

Women test you. Everytime. Its their nature. Not consciously, but subconsciously.
for example: Lets say you are on a date and she takes a piece of food from your plate. you see it as a normal thing. but her subconscious is testing you. Are you a suitable mate?
You allow her to take her food: Beep. you fail the test. Welcome to the friend zone. Now she is your 'Good friend' or 'I am not interested in dating actually'.....
Not knowing where your keys are, etc. it shows you are not a guardian of your stuff. You won't be able to protect her.

In the above example, she wants to test whether you are a guard of your things or not. if anyone can getaway by doing something to you and you don't care about it, you are not a suitable mate. Because now her subconscious knows that:
1. Other men can easily take her away from you and you won't mind (i.e. you will cry and beg but won't fight for her or with her)
2. She can be a good friend of you, and thus take your stuff. And you are a nice guy and won't say anything. Not only objects such as money, but your time and energy (when she had a fight with her boyfriend and needs emotional support).
3. She knows that your value as a mate is not high, because you have to use your niceness to make her happy. Being nice is okay, but not specifically to women. As in, if you are nice in general, to everyone then it will show. and you are just acting nice to her but treat stranger guys with less respect, then also, it shows.
-----------------------------

What should you do?
Well personally, I would suggest the idea to stop dating. But if you want to then:

1. Always have a mindset that, there are always atleast 10 other women waiting for you. If one rejects, move on. NEVER bother her again. If she is interested, she will bother you. If you are still interested, go ahead, otherwise not more than two words for her: "Not interested"
It will take time, but soon, there will be 10 women waiting for you, and you will get to choose. As a man should get to.

2. Stop pretending to be nice to her. if being nice is your nature, its fine.

3. Do NOT treat yourself any less than a woman. A woman cannot define your happiness, or even your dating standards. You decide that. Don't follow, you are a man. Let her follow. if she doesn't, don't bother.

4. Don't spend money on her much without knowing her. There are a lot of girls who date just for free food.

5. Keep improving yourself. Not with pick up lines. How many times will you use them with one woman? You are not a clown.
Instead, read. Watch things you like and care about. Gradually, you will become an interesting person. That's how the human brain works. it modifies itself with the new information. Keep learning, and you will have a lot to talk about. But don't learn just with the intent to find out topics to be discussed on a date. Otherwise, you will not get second dates. learn for yourself. to fulfill your goals. Or to satisfy your curiosity or to increase your creativity.

6. Work out. Stay healthy and hygenic.
 
am4tic said:
I am always honest with the girls I am chatting with. This girls I am talking with now, told me that one of her hobbys is camping. So I was honest with her, and said that I had never put up a tent in my life before :p I thinking that was gonna putt her off, but she continued chatting with me.

Compatibility is a decent part of any relationship, but it's also about being open enough to explore and step out of our comfort zones. Like Callie said, just go with the flow. Don't try to steer anything into the direction you think it should go. Allow it to happen naturally.
 

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