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Too easily influenced by kind words
#1
Noticed that a lot on here. I don't feel like I get influenced by someone flirting with me at Starbucks... I mean I don't know that person, I know they are just bored flirting. I myself engage in something like this (I don't mean to flirt) I just like to tell jokes and say funny things and put people at ease. 

But when people say nice things to me, deep down... I believe them. And because not a lot of people say nice things to me...  I tend to examine them more and be impressed by them and then... get horribly disappointed and bitter when they aren't as important as I build them to be.

I have kind of taken to immediately trying to vet nice words from my memory and push them to the back of my brain. 

But I wonder sometimes if I am depriving myself of happiness and should embrace these things and let others push me back if they didn't really mean them. But usually that is crushing.
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#2
(05-19-2017, 10:47 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: Noticed that a lot on here.

If by here, you mean the forum, you do realize what kind of forum this is, right? A lot of people who sign up to this forum and others like it don't easily absorb compliments. Whether they become easily influenced by kind words is for the individual to decide. Some do, and take many other things to heart and are more sensitive, and some don't. But for this particular type of forum, that's only to be expected when many are simply looking for a kind word or two. While some don't easily believe in a kind word or a compliment, there are some who do. And if you've noticed that a lot here, it's probably from those who seek a little bit of attention.
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#3
It's a symptom of being lonely.
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
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#4
(05-19-2017, 06:22 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: It's a symptom of being lonely.

I read that synonym.  lol  Club


But yeah, seriously, of course it happens here a lot, why wouldn't it, given the issues of most of the people that come here.  Social anxiety, low self esteem, no one really giving them support or kindness.  But definitely not everyone. 

And then you have the people who are the opposite and take even kind words as criticism and "being rude." 

Personally, I don't care for compliments all that much.  Not because I don't believe them, but rather because I simply don't want them.  If you want to compliment me, don't do it based on what I look like.  Do it based on who and what I am.  Tell me I'm a good mother, tell me I'm intelligent, tell me I throw rotten fruit at people well.  Whatever, just make it real, not just on my appearance.
If someone were to comment on a part of my body, my immediate thought will be that they want to have sex with me and nothing else.  Sorry, not going to happen.
DISCLAIMER:
The views I express are my own opinion. More often than not, if I say "you," it is generalized and not to a person specifically.

My advice is based on my own experiences and those of my friends and family. I may not have a degree saying I read a bunch of books/passed tests, but I have been through a lot and helped others through a lot. Experience is often a better qualification than having read books/passed tests.

I speak in a blunt manner. I mean no disrespect and I'm not being rude. This is just the way I am, please do not take offense.

Take what you like and leave the rest.


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#5
This happens to me a lot... I take kind words too seriously and am so naive and end up getting taken advantage of. I just keep falling for the same stupid thing over and over again... I will never learn. *sigh*
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#6
(05-19-2017, 10:47 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: Noticed that a lot on here. I don't feel like I get influenced by someone flirting with me at Starbucks... I mean I don't know that person, I know they are just bored flirting. I myself engage in something like this (I don't mean to flirt) I just like to tell jokes and say funny things and put people at ease. 

But when people say nice things to me, deep down... I believe them. And because not a lot of people say nice things to me...  I tend to examine them more and be impressed by them and then... get horribly disappointed and bitter when they aren't as important as I build them to be.

I have kind of taken to immediately trying to vet nice words from my memory and push them to the back of my brain. 

But I wonder sometimes if I am depriving myself of happiness and should embrace these things and let others push me back if they didn't really mean them. But usually that is crushig

I think I understand what you mean. It messes with my mind sometimes. I think people just give you "chat" and often don't mean anything of the sort, if they were pressed on the matter, whatever the subject may have been. Its just something to take no notice of, if you can filter it out. Occasionally it only becomes clear sometime after the conversation.

You may deprive yourself of happiness if you take everything you're hearing literally. But in time you may find it hurts less when you are expecting to be pushed back?
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