I call myself doxiegirl bc I love the dachshund and currently have 2. I am 54 unmarried, no kids. The dogs and my cat fulfill a lot of maternal needs for me. I didn't think I would reach this age and remain unmarried. I am educated, fairly attractive, funny, fun to be with but life happened.
I would attribute this to the 3 Bs....bad luck, bad timing, bad choices. I do take a good deal of responsibility in much of this. There were men I maybe shouldn't have passed up, and gave chances to ones that are heart breakers, yadda yadda yadda....but my childhood, altho privileged with living on a beautiful farm, lots of vacations, my parents never taught my sister and I conflict resolution and never raised our self-confidence, always lots of criticisms and fighting. As a result I grew up with little to no self esteem nor did I have the tools to deal with people/relationship issues.
This week I had the flu, I have nursed myself through many flus before but this time it was different. No one called to see how I was. My parents live in another town, I would call them and they would call back if I left a message but no 'how are you' calls. I have a few friends but lost many friends these last couple of years due I believe to once I started defending myself and speaking up for myself, people weren't used to it and didn't like it. As an eg, one former friend was always giving nasty jabs etc and mistreating me. I told her off and she never wished to discuss or reconcile. Another friend purposely started befriending a woman who stole a bf from me. I asked this woman, in support of me could she please not attend a certain party the man who hurt me and his new gf were running, not only did she attend, she started talking to this woman on social media knowing I would read this. I dropped her from my life after I emailed her about this, I was very cordial but firm that what she did was a betrayal and extremely hurtful. Both these women were once bffs. Other friends have moved on to relationships or to other cities. A lot of women I have known stray from their friends once they find a mate. My mom who always did understand me and support me is now disabled from a stroke. Sadly my dad has always sided with my sister for every bit of nastiness she has inflicted on me. He seems to find excuses. My sister and I are estranged but do exchange the odd email. Other than my pets I found this week to be sooo lonely as I was recovering, I felt I had no one but my pets and they were irritating me bc they needed attention. I found myself feeling short fused and being a nasty mom. I wonder so often how things ended up so lonely for me. I am not a nasty wicked person. Sighhhhh.
I would attribute this to the 3 Bs....bad luck, bad timing, bad choices. I do take a good deal of responsibility in much of this. There were men I maybe shouldn't have passed up, and gave chances to ones that are heart breakers, yadda yadda yadda....but my childhood, altho privileged with living on a beautiful farm, lots of vacations, my parents never taught my sister and I conflict resolution and never raised our self-confidence, always lots of criticisms and fighting. As a result I grew up with little to no self esteem nor did I have the tools to deal with people/relationship issues.
This week I had the flu, I have nursed myself through many flus before but this time it was different. No one called to see how I was. My parents live in another town, I would call them and they would call back if I left a message but no 'how are you' calls. I have a few friends but lost many friends these last couple of years due I believe to once I started defending myself and speaking up for myself, people weren't used to it and didn't like it. As an eg, one former friend was always giving nasty jabs etc and mistreating me. I told her off and she never wished to discuss or reconcile. Another friend purposely started befriending a woman who stole a bf from me. I asked this woman, in support of me could she please not attend a certain party the man who hurt me and his new gf were running, not only did she attend, she started talking to this woman on social media knowing I would read this. I dropped her from my life after I emailed her about this, I was very cordial but firm that what she did was a betrayal and extremely hurtful. Both these women were once bffs. Other friends have moved on to relationships or to other cities. A lot of women I have known stray from their friends once they find a mate. My mom who always did understand me and support me is now disabled from a stroke. Sadly my dad has always sided with my sister for every bit of nastiness she has inflicted on me. He seems to find excuses. My sister and I are estranged but do exchange the odd email. Other than my pets I found this week to be sooo lonely as I was recovering, I felt I had no one but my pets and they were irritating me bc they needed attention. I found myself feeling short fused and being a nasty mom. I wonder so often how things ended up so lonely for me. I am not a nasty wicked person. Sighhhhh.