Making friends...male or female?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Do you find it easier to befriend people of the same sex, opposite sex or either?

  • Same sex

    Votes: 9 34.6%
  • Opposite sex

    Votes: 10 38.5%
  • Either

    Votes: 7 26.9%

  • Total voters
    26

davechaos

Well-known member
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
243
Reaction score
0
Location
England
Ok...now I don't post threads very often but this one suddenly occurred to me last night when I was posting a reply for someone.

I grew up with mostly male friends and then when I went to University I took my teaching degree where the ratio of males to females was about 1 to 30. I now work in education and have done for 15 years and all the staff I have are female, except my caretaker...so here is my question for consideration.

Do you find it easier to befriend the same sex, the opposite sex or either?
 
Good lord Dave....there's 30 babes for every 1 guy.
Where do you live ? I'm packing my bags...The heck with it.
I don't need a bag. I'll just fine me a suger mama.

I can see how so going crazy though....so many women, so little time.

It's easy to befriend a woman..She puts me the friend zone without my permission.

When I was a kid.....guys stay with guys.
When I got older I made friends with both.

It's about the same to me. Once we get pass the sexual aspect of it all.
 
In real life I have no female friends and never had. Never really got many chances to befriend with girls in general and even less with ones I would have found to be good company. So yeah I guess I make friends with guys more easily.

In the virtual world of internet however, I guess it is pretty much irrelevant what gender the person has. Have had no problem making friends from both sexes. Wish it would be as easy in the real world too. :)
 
Well when I finished my four year course there were around four blokes left that graduated out of around 120 people so yes there would have been plenty of opportunities lol.

Having said that it is just such a female populated career, especially with younger children. I guess I am just more used to being with women so much during the day...they are a catty lot though.....meow...
 
So Frostburn would you say that you actively discourage getting to know females or is it that you don't get the opportunity? Do you think that it is the way that we approach women and the way that we give out an impression about ourselves?

The internet world is very much different though...time...getting the opportunity to revise and practice what we 'say'.
 
yeah...they can be catty sometimes. I grew up with 3 sisters.

I worked in electronic manufacturing plant.
there's 250 women and maybe 25 males.
I worked in the office too. I think it helped me to just see them as other human beings.
Plus I was taken already.lol

Verse in my previouse carreer in an electric power generation plant.
There's 75 guys and 4 women.
Our crew were younger and basically we were filled with hormones.
Plus the odd where crazy..there's 10 guys for every woman.
So ...stright across the board you get a sort of mind set talking to a bounch of young hard up guys.lol

But I always had females friends when I was in HS too though.
Not as much as male friends of course.
I was always trying to get out of the freind zone.

I wouldn't want to be 16-25 again...heck no !!!
I couldn't even think straight half of the time when it came to dealing women.
My other head had a mind of it's own. It wakes up before me even.lmao
To top it off women wear perfume with musk.

I dunno..when my partner wants something..she'll talk during sex. I'll say yes to whatever.lol
 
I find it easier to befriend guys. Not sure why but I just find them easier to get to know.
 
Well, in my personal opinions, girls tend to be less judgemental and more how do you say honest in their friendship. I had some girl pals, not really close, but still, they invited me over for lunches and dinners and baked cookies for me. I sort of was touched. But, eventually, I was not part of their group, so i drifted away, which was sad really, cause for once, I felt that I was part of the group, being their friends. Their warmth really touched me deeply. But i guess, a guy in a group of girls is just like standing out like a sore thumb anyway. =(
 
Yin said:
I find it easier to befriend guys. Not sure why but I just find them easier to get to know.


Well, its true...but eventually Yin, I don't know about you, but I find guy friends kinda of superficial. I admit I am like that too....Like unless they need you or are interested in you, they don't really care much for you.
 
I voted Either. I used to work at a place where there was like twice as much girls there then lads. I used to have a GF back then as well. I can make friends with younger guys normally better then older guys but with girls I fined the younger the more difficult it is to make a connection and the older women I fined easier to get alone with. Hope all that made sense. So I voted Either but its kinder the opposite problem I have with girls and the lads.
 
Thanks guys...

Interestingly enough at the moment 2 to 1 say opposite to the same sex...I wonder if this is the case for anyone else.

Does anyone have any ideas why they think that might be? Is it just what we are used to from school, college, university or work...or do we think that it may be the way we were brought up?

Any opinions?
 
SadRabbit said:
Well, in my personal opinions, girls tend to be less judgemental and more how do you say honest in their friendship. I had some girl pals, not really close, but still, they invited me over for lunches and dinners and baked cookies for me. I sort of was touched. But, eventually, I was not part of their group, so i drifted away, which was sad really, cause for once, I felt that I was part of the group, being their friends. Their warmth really touched me deeply. But i guess, a guy in a group of girls is just like standing out like a sore thumb anyway. =(

I find the complete opposite to be true. Girls to me are the most judgemental and dishonest in their friendship. They seem so disingenuous all the time, and I can't help but feel like they have ulterior motives. Not to mention that they are for the most part unapproachable. I don't have many friends, but the few are guys and are about as good of friends anyone can ask for. I've made life long friendships with these people. I can't relate to girls whatsoever.
 
So Bureau is that what you have found girls to be like from you approaching them or is it through the perceptions you have of them?

Is that something else that we do folks? Do we end up assuming from our own perceptions that things are going to be that way and because of that they are because we expect them to be...we kind of encourage the actions of others because that is what we want to hear.
 
davechaos said:
Thanks guys...

Interestingly enough at the moment 2 to 1 say opposite to the same sex...I wonder if this is the case for anyone else.

Does anyone have any ideas why they think that might be? Is it just what we are used to from school, college, university or work...or do we think that it may be the way we were brought up?

Any opinions?

I went to an all boy high school. Only female contact I had for 4 years was my mother and other relatives. So I never learned to interact with girls. I got to college and still couldn't. Till this day I haven't been able to make much progress. As a result, I've learned to fear and resent them.
 
Ah...now that would make sense regarding your previous answer...

Can I ask you what you might do about that in the future? What kind of female role model have you ever had?

Has anyone else had the same experience? Ladies...is there anyone out there who has had the same regarding the male role models that they have experienced?
 
davechaos said:
So Bureau is that what you have found girls to be like from you approaching them or is it through the perceptions you have of them?

Is that something else that we do folks? Do we end up assuming from our own perceptions that things are going to be that way and because of that they are because we expect them to be...we kind of encourage the actions of others because that is what we want to hear.

It's a little of both. The few instances I have been around girls reinforced those perceptions i have of them. It's much easier to say fresia it, and go with your assumptions because it's comfortable. It's what I know. Challenging that in any way is terrifying.
 
But your answer may well tell you what you need to do...challenge what you need to do.

Yes it may well be comfortable and human conscience always says to you to trust the comfortable but the path in front of us is often faced with decisions and choices where we need to choose the difficult one...and this will lead us along the path that enables us to learn.

If that makes any sense.
 
Same sex. Not to sound as if I find it easy to befriend anyone at all but females certainly easier than males. :p I have never had a lot of direct friendly contact with males. Pity really but I had never known how to approach them. They never seemed interested either.
 
Thanks Silvernight...is it because you feel that you can't approach males or is because your experiences have been bad?

It is interesting that through the responses so far folks that many of us have perceptions about the opposite sex and yet we don't seem to know where this may have come from.

Does anyone have any advice for anyone on how we can get around this? What do we need to do?
 
I said either. I can be pretty shy, so it's sometimes hard to start up a conversation with a girl, but once I get it started everything is fine. As for the other guys, well, it's the same as the girls only easier to approach. I am shy even with getting to know guys better too.

It's a known fact that a lot of men are ******** wanting to get in women's pants. It's not so well known that there are a few (like me) that actually care about something other than sex. Maybe that could solve something. It's also a running stereotype (I'm not sure whether it's true) that girls don't go for nice guys like me :(. That I will never understand. If they do, then they don't want to take it any farther then friendship. When you get told "I love you like a brother" everything pretty much dies inside of the person on the receiving end's mind :p.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top