Do we encourage bad things by expecting them?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Do we encourage bad things to happen in our lives by expecting them to happen?

  • Yes

    Votes: 8 88.9%
  • No

    Votes: 1 11.1%

  • Total voters
    9

davechaos

Well-known member
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
243
Reaction score
0
Location
England
I have just posted a repsonse to BlackCat asking about whether anyone has anything that they are worried about or have any problems and my response got me thinking.

Sometimes in my life I have been worried about something so much that I actually expected it to happen...and it often did...so my question to you all would be...

Do we encourage bad things to happen in our lives by expecting them to happen?
 
No, not really. I mean if you go into a relationship thinking its not going to work then it probably well not. So I do think its important to be positive. But I think if your going too a job interview and you think that you well never get that job then I fined quite often that you do. Hope for the best but plane for the worse.

ok that was my first thought on this. But it seemed wrong lol This also got me thinking as well. I now actually believe that yes you can lol HAY! A guy is allowed to change he's mined is he not? lol

Well If your in a relationship and your convinced your other half is having an affair and you keep on about it then the chances are that there well do that in the end anyway. Also like the going for a new job thing. If you go in with a negative attitude then ye that is boned to have an affect on the interview. I don't think you can make bad things happen just by thinking about it. But by having the wrong sort of attitude towards things you can make bad things happen. Like if you treat all your friends like there not really your friends then maybe in the end you well loss them as a friend?

Interesting question davechaos. Relay gets you thinking and leave it open to answer in a lot of different directions. You could take this answer in a lot of different ways. Very thought provoking I thought.
 
I think you can, but I definitely avoid doing it. You can also do the same thing with good things, you can expect them to happen and they will :D.
 
A good reverse Black Cat. That definitely makes sense. I suppose we can wish for the good things to happen and they end up being something that we desperately want to happen so we go out of our way to make sure that they do happen.

Bluey...a bloke that changes his mind...lol...now there is a thought!!
 
davechaos said:
Bluey...a bloke that changes his mind...lol...now there is a thought!!

lol, Normally when I have made a decision I do stick with it. But if I have not made my mined up on something then ye I would be the first to admit I do that :p There nothing wrong with saying, you know what. I got that wrong lol. well I was not wrong. I just was not right hahah
 
Generally, I would be inclined to agree. It does make sense logically thinking. Your mind works like an antenna: if you expect a bad outcome and concentrate on it, you sort of "tune in" that negative scenario, which is then very likely to occur. And vice versa. Yet on the other hand, being a closet pessimist myself, I often found that things turned out way better than I expected. So I don't know how to explain it: perhaps I did not really believe in the 'bad' outcome, despite all the negative self-talk? Or is it that despite my often negative disposition I tend to do my best in every case anyway? Now that's a dilemma :p
 
That is a dilemma...lol.

I am generally a better optimist now than I ever used to be but I worry too much and this means that I often think the worst case scenario rather than the best case scenario.

It sounds like you may be a bit of a cat...have you always found that you tend to land on both feet?
 
davechaos said:
That is a dilemma...lol.

I am generally a better optimist now than I ever used to be but I worry too much and this means that I often think the worst case scenario rather than the best case scenario.

It sounds like you may be a bit of a cat...have you always found that you tend to land on both feet?

Yeah, that sounds much like me too, I worry all the time. If not about one thing, then about another.

Not sure what "landing on both feet" means, if it's that things often turn out well despite me being pessimistic then yeah. I believe I have quite a lot of cat characteristics. I love cats and even my former favorite online nickname had been DevilCat ;)
 
I worry about things all the time and this tends to be insular for me. I never let on my feelings to anyone and often the pain that it causes can be horrendous. How does everyone else deal with these issues?

I try not to worry and I have grown a lot stronger since going to counselling but when I feel down and things don't plan out as expected then this makes me worry more...then you start to imagine that the worst is going to happen...and then quite often it does.

Is it a cycle that I start?
 
BlackCat said:
Gah, things tend to turn out way better than I except also. I am also a closet pessimist. Same personality syndrome?

Perhaps higher powers just love us, for some unidentified reason. Like they would their favorite hamster. :D
 
Well let us all hope that that one thing looking over us keeps the nice things in our lives for us.
 
The one big thing looking over our lives is sending a big ass hurrican
baring down on Lusianna....It kind da rip cuba up on the way.lmao

well...it depends on our attitude I suppose.

When it comes right down to it...It dosen't matter what sex you are.
How rich or how poor. How young or how old. How stupid or how smart.
Single or couples. Lonely or not. Wheather we are belivers or non belivers.

A hurrican don't give a fresia. It dosen't discrinimate.
It dons't care who you think you are or who u think ur daddy is ..lol

Life is preciouse. We are fragile...all of us.
Handle with care.....I guess.
 
Now there is a good point...I suppose we wll realise how lucky we actually are when we are not affected by those kinds of life changing events.

Thanks Lonesome....
 
hmm i think that yeah attitude that we have when we do something, greatly affects its outcome. If you go out with a negavite attitude towards something or expect something bad to happen, most of the times it will. If you go in with a positive attitude things turn out a little bit better.

sometimes its very hard to be positive, but i guess it has its benefits sometimes. It helps you become more confident in a way.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top