Is there any chance to live without love ?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
P

pinocio

Guest
i just want to know if there is someone living  their  life without love.
 
I've had love once in my life and lost it. Now I don't have it and want it but can't find it and doubt I ever will, and I'm ready to give up on it. I would rather not be living than live without love, it's starting to get really painful.
 
A fear of death or suffering certainly isn't enough to keep one going. Some form of suffering is always there, unavoidable. It's difficult and will not work for the average person but I think you can live without (romantic) love at least. Not without passion and fascination for something else though.
 
I agree with Rodent.

I also want to add that you should read your signature.  I don't know what happened to make you post this thread, but it's your emotions talking.  This too shall pass.
 
I live without love because love isn't even real.
 
It may actually come to an end, when is not that you decide that are strong enough to not be dependent on love, but rather all sense of hope or willingness has left you and the desire dies out inside. You are empty but confortable, resigning without knowing it.
 
Regarding romantic love, yep I've been living 26 years straight without it. Just fill it with hobbies, exercise, video games and internet.
 
I've lived the last 11 years of my life without a relationship, love or physical contact of any description. I'm pretty sure that I could find a partner, but I have no desire to inflict myself upon another human being. It would take a very special woman to accept me. A few have thought that they could cope with my relentless intensity and cornucopia of mental disorders, but time proved them wrong.

Is it possible? Yes. Is it fulfilling? Probably not...
 
How do you define love? There are many kinds of love. Love of a partner, a parent, a child, friends, or even pets. You can love yourself, or you can be loved, and you can be lucky and have both. Love can be about an emotional connection, or a physical connection. Sometimes the first will be most important, sometimes the second. Again, this fluctuates.

I hope that there actually are very few people who have to truly live without any kind of love at all.
That being said, it may not always be easy to recognise it and realising where the love in your life is may require a change of mindset sometimes. The hollywood love stories never show us a complete picture, you only see the start of things. The middle and possible end of a relationship is hardly shown, and this is precisely the part that counts most.

I don't believe love finds you and swoops you over to then stay with you for the rest of your life in exactly that manner. In my experience love is always in a state of flux, it comes and goes in different forms and levels. Loving and being loved is an ongoing process that requires constant work and effort. It requires every person to be aware of who they are, how they experience things and how their feelings and experiences relate to the other beings around you. Being able to love starts with knowing and being aware of who you are. When you change and grow, the love you have for the beings around you changes and grows with you. And if you are lucky, the other being at the end of the love connection changes and grows in a way compatible with yourself.
However, if this doesn't happen and the relationship ends, it doesn't mean love has gone from your life. You or the other person has changed, and you need to redefine the role love plays in your life. If you look around carefully, you'll find there is still love somewhere but possibly in a different shape.
 
I personally think human beings are at their base a-social creatures who tend to enter conflict when congregating together and love is an artificial construct made to be able to cope with close proximity for extended periods of time. Which would explain why many breeds of animals are basically solitary once the act of perpetuating the species is accomplished.
But you know, that's just me ;-)
Sometimes I trick myself into believing in love. But I wonder all the time if it's really love or just me convincing myself it is and acting like I'm supposed to in those circumstances. I've had a few girlfriends, a few other adventures, as far as I can really tell in those circumstances, I really only loved one of them...and was it really love? Or something else I mistook for it?
Guess when I meet the right girl, I'll know. But so far, it's been a disappointing time. I guess I'd feel better just having someone to spend time with once in a while without the pressures of an actual relationship, someone who's chill and just wants to hang out and cuddle once in a while without pressure.
I guess it's very possible living without love. Plenty of people have done it in the last 10 000 years.
 
Life is simply impossible without at least some kind of love like platonic love. Love is everywhere but it's so hard to see without believing. Romantic love is the hardest one to get and is the hardest one but so many other beautiful things in life. Just have to notice.
 
Really if we were living without ANY kind of love we would all be dead right now.  There is unconditional love (the sun rising, shining its rays down that make life on Earth possible, the rain, and getting out there and enjoying that energy, the air that we breathe in nourishing us)....this is all part of that universally available LOVE that we all can have, harness and possess.

In fact, those of us who choose to focus on this unconditional, universally available LOVE, and focus in on that have less to lose by foregoing human relationships.

It helps me although there is also something wired in me to desire human contact and I wish I could cut that cord completely because that is what continues to get me into situations where I am used, abused and never want to deal with another human being, ever again......
 
Thank you guys for all of your replies ,
I am kinda lost my hope on true love ,I am not saying that I am living without any kind love but I can say there was a day when I used to be loved by someone,and when you habitat or dependent on that ,it'll be hard to live without that.but now I am trying to figure it out how to live without that.I have been thinking about that love is true ,this is only a thing you can live happily.now i know it's not ,but I am struggling to finding any way to escaping from all of this honeysuckle.
 
pinocio said:
Thank you guys for all of your replies ,
I am kinda lost my hope on true love ,I am not saying that  I am living without any kind  love but I can say there was a day when I used to be loved by someone,and when you habitat or dependent on that ,it'll be hard to live without that.but now I am trying to figure it out how to live without that.I have been thinking about that love is true ,this is only a thing you can live happily.now i know it's not ,but I am struggling to finding  any way to escaping from all of this honeysuckle.

Sometimes it simply helps to let go of any expectations and know that you have love from others, here.  That's a start.  But the best love comes when you nourish your own 'cup' so to speak.  The reason for that is because as much as we all strive to love you unconditionally, we cannot all be here 24/7 when you might need any one of us.  The other factor is although we all love you on a broader level, we all have personal boundaries with each other on this forum, so it may be not as high intimacy level as what you would like.  So when you give love to yourself and start increasing and believing in yourself your self-esteem will increase and you will attract those people who you wish to love you...to give back to you what's been perceived as so freely given to them. Become whom you eventually want to attract, otherwise life becomes pitiful and you end up staying stuck in the same place.
 
Xpendable said:
It may actually come to an end, when is not that you decide that are strong enough to not be dependent on love, but rather all sense of hope or willingness has left you and the desire dies out inside. You are empty but confortable, resigning without knowing it.

Maybe you're right :(
 
How much experience a person has is going to have an influence. Some people are jaded to relationships and feel much less desire for romantic "love".
I'm not one of those though...cause, well, 38, and never really had a date.

A long term partner is far from guaranteed now in society now so I think the question of how to cope without that expectation being met is a worthwhile one.
 
ardour said:
How much experience a person has is going to have an influence. Some people are jaded to relationships and feel much less desire for romantic "love".
I'm not one of those though...cause, well, 38, and never really had a date.

A long term partner is far from guaranteed now in society now so I think the question of how to cope without that expectation being met is a worthwhile one.

You are right ,

it is really hard to find that kind of love which can stay forever with us.because love is not real it is mental.
That's a passion.And I think I must move on , live my life all alone ,and it is great to enjoy my own time without any problems.
no more relationship no more pain.and whoever told this but it is cool "PEOPLE SAY YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LOVE ...
....I THINK OXYGEN IS MORE IMPORTANT"
 
Well personally, I have experienced the pain of losing a lover whom I truly loved.

I can say there was a day when I used to be loved by someone,and when you habitat or dependent on that ,it'll be hard to live without that.but now I am trying to figure it out how to live without that.I have been thinking about that love is true ,this is only a thing you can live happily.now i know it's not ,but I am struggling to finding any way to escaping from all of this honeysuckle.

My guess here is you're experiencing the loss of a lover in your life as well. Am I right?
For now, I'm going to assume that and share a little story of my own. Hopefully it helps :)

A few years ago, I was experiencing whatever you're experiencing right now. Wondering if the idea of "True Love" does exist or not. What led me to question it? My girlfriend / fiancée whom I've known for 6 years decided it's best that we end our relationship. Why? Because "I lost my feelings for you".

That's it lol. She lost her feelings for me. I was EXTREMELY upset back then. Seriously, I gave her everything she ever wanted, I protected her from harm, guided her to safety when we were lost, listened to her issues, gave her advices when she needed them- Literally, I did everything and anything a good bf would and I especially sacrificed a lot in my life, making choices for her as well. Hell- my friends would give me a medal for being one of the best bf in the world just because I love her so dearly, even more than myself lol and she wanted to break up with me? Wow, talk about investment gone wrong huh? LOL.

Because of all that, I questioned the love that we shared. How is it possible if true romantic love exist, that this could happen? I know I would never leave her no matter what because one day, after a bad fight that we had, I told myself that no matter how bad things get, I will never abandon her.

How is it that when I can be so devoted to her, she can just decide to leave me? Love is BS, I thought. It doesn't exist. Screw the idea of love- It's just something people make up to earn money with made up days like Valentine's day or even just "dates" itself.

Does this sound like you? You're probably asking the topic's question because you're experiencing something similar, right?

What I eventually learned was that "Love" works very differently amongst different people. To quote a few:
Love, to some, it's about being there for each other while to others, it's about certain display of affection and giving into requests/ demands.

Can we live without love? That will depend on what the idea of "Love" means to you.

For me, when we talk about "True Love", it's about romantic love between a myself and my sweetheart. I think, it is possible to live life without romantic love but it will sure be less fulfilling as you will miss out on experiencing life with a special friend :)

If you are referring to the idea of platonic love? Then my answer is- we NEED them!
No matter how bad things get in life, one of the key elements that we require to live and even function right is support. There were studies done in the topic of lifestyle with / without friends amongst different individuals and as expected, people with friends exhibits MUCH higher level of life enrichment and happiness.

Their view in life is very different as well. People with friends tend to be more optimistic, believing that things will somehow get better as long as they have support while those who have little to no friends tend to see the world as being against them and are constantly setting things up for them to fail.

So to sum it up, my personal opinion:
Platonic Love = Necessity
Romantic Love = Optional

Truth is, we have the option to choose whether or not we want to believe that "True (Romantic) Love" exists. I choose to believe in it just because it'd be so much more fun to than not to :p

If you can find a partner who believes in that as well? Boooooom light them fireworks up cause we're about to see a couple embark on a new adventure together ;-)

Hope this helped somehow and definitely hope that you are feeling better. Please feel free to chat with me via pm if you want to as well! I'd be more than happy to make a new friend and if you want to, we can share our stories in private too cause there's definitely more to our tales :)
 

Latest posts

Back
Top