Anxiety is taking over, I'm not gonna make it

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TheAnxiousPain

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[font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]Recently I reached out to a family member, and expressed a lot of anger towards them. It was a defensive message, but it was not disrespectful, but it was about the things I've heard him say about me and I just found the courage to let it all out to them. I felt like my family never wanted to see me happy, and I just wanted to express it. & they took it as if I was trying make them responsible for all I went thru. But I wasn't I just wanted to let it out over the years. I felt horrible afterwards, I felt so misunderstood, and I felt stupid. My panic attack came on, I had my mom call those family members and they reassured her that they wasn't mad, they understood, and that it was okay. But now I am having intrusive thoughts thinking that they now think I'm crazy and bipolar. They told my mom, that the doors is always open for me and that they understand. But I still worry about what they might be saying. I still feel crazy. I am having a really bad episode. I have always dealt with anxiety issues, I mean this isn't the first.... I obsess over things a lot. Even within this situation, I started to think what if I start to attack innocent people of the past. What if I'm going mad,? What if people think I'm nuts? This is eating me up. I hope this passes like the other incidents, I haven't felt like this in about 3 years, I have had my lil anxiety attacks but they never was this strong. I feel like I will never get over my feelings. I have breakdowns all day, I replace one worry with another worry that's not true. I feel I'm not in control. I wake up with extreme fear and anxiety,  and think about how people might lie on me and as if I just did the wrong thing. Will this ever go way, I start a new class in NYC in about 3 weeks. I was excited prior to sending that message, now life is dark[/font]
 
First of all, you're not going mad. Take a nice deep breath, and stop doubting yourself for a second. The way you reacted was natural, too much pressure built up and you burst. DON'T feel stupid, you were very brave to stand up for yourself. You should actually be really proud of yourself. Second, don't become apologetic if what you said you meant but came out wrong. Tell them your sorry about HOW you told them, but what you were trying to tell them is still true. You deserve more than to be brushed off. If you didn't mean what you said and it was purely defensive. Again, tell them. Any animal attacks when it's cornered and feels threatened, it's completely natural and again you're not going mad. If you just try to explain, they will listen. Even if they don't understand, you'll know you've done everything to explain and then really they should do some research on Anxiety. Believe me, you sound like me a few years ago. It doesn't get better unless you talk.
 
Osiris said:
First of all, you're not going mad. Take a nice deep breath, and stop doubting yourself for a second. The way you reacted was natural, too much pressure built up and you burst. DON'T feel stupid, you were very brave to stand up for yourself. You should actually be really proud of yourself. Second, don't become apologetic if what you said you meant but came out wrong. Tell them your sorry about HOW you told them, but what you were trying to tell them is still true. You deserve more than to be brushed off. If you didn't mean what you said and it was purely defensive. Again, tell them. Any animal attacks when it's cornered and feels threatened, it's completely natural and again you're not going mad. If you just try to explain, they will listen. Even if they don't understand, you'll know you've done everything to explain and then really they should do some research on Anxiety. Believe me, you sound like me a few years ago. It doesn't get better unless you talk.

Thank u so much but what if I haven't talked to this person in 3 years, and then all of sudden sent this?
 
TheAnxiousPain said:
Osiris said:
First of all, you're not going mad. Take a nice deep breath, and stop doubting yourself for a second. The way you reacted was natural, too much pressure built up and you burst. DON'T feel stupid, you were very brave to stand up for yourself. You should actually be really proud of yourself. Second, don't become apologetic if what you said you meant but came out wrong. Tell them your sorry about HOW you told them, but what you were trying to tell them is still true. You deserve more than to be brushed off. If you didn't mean what you said and it was purely defensive. Again, tell them. Any animal attacks when it's cornered and feels threatened, it's completely natural and again you're not going mad. If you just try to explain, they will listen. Even if they don't understand, you'll know you've done everything to explain and then really they should do some research on Anxiety. Believe me, you sound like me a few years ago. It doesn't get better unless you talk.

Thank u so much but what if I haven't talked to this person in 3 years, and then all of sudden sent this?
It won't be easy, but they'll know you need to talk to them now. They don't really know who you are, what you've gone through, what you are living through day to day, and what you've overcome to be where you are today.
I hadn't seen my Dad in 3 years so I know how hard it can be to speak openly with someone who's now become almost a stranger to you. But they love you, and they'll always love you. No matter how badly you say what you want to say, they'll still love you. I've said horrible things to my mum and none of it she deserved, but she loves me and put up with it. Now I wouldn't dream of giving her anything but compliments, I promise you, you're going to be fine. I believe in you.
 
Osiris said:
TheAnxiousPain said:
Osiris said:
First of all, you're not going mad. Take a nice deep breath, and stop doubting yourself for a second. The way you reacted was natural, too much pressure built up and you burst. DON'T feel stupid, you were very brave to stand up for yourself. You should actually be really proud of yourself. Second, don't become apologetic if what you said you meant but came out wrong. Tell them your sorry about HOW you told them, but what you were trying to tell them is still true. You deserve more than to be brushed off. If you didn't mean what you said and it was purely defensive. Again, tell them. Any animal attacks when it's cornered and feels threatened, it's completely natural and again you're not going mad. If you just try to explain, they will listen. Even if they don't understand, you'll know you've done everything to explain and then really they should do some research on Anxiety. Believe me, you sound like me a few years ago. It doesn't get better unless you talk.

Thank u so much but what if I haven't talked to this person in 3 years, and then all of sudden sent this?
It won't be easy, but they'll know you need to talk to them now. They don't really know who you are, what you've gone through, what you are living through day to day, and what you've overcome to be where you are today.
I hadn't seen my Dad in 3 years so I know how hard it can be to speak openly with someone who's now become almost a stranger to you. But they love you, and they'll always love you. No matter how badly you say what you want to say, they'll still love you. I've said horrible things to my mum and none of it she deserved, but she loves me and put up with it. Now I wouldn't dream of giving her anything but compliments, I promise you, you're going to be fine. I believe in you.

Yeah. Your post made me feel alot lot better, but at the same time. I will talk to this family member over the phone this weekend and I just want to know how do I go by explaining without them thinking in holding onto to the past? Cause since letting it out. I felt bad, and it brought on Anxiety, and Panic. But now that it's out, I feel better about that family member. But how do I explain in your opinion?? How would you?
 
TheAnxiousPain said:
Osiris said:
TheAnxiousPain said:
Osiris said:
First of all, you're not going mad. Take a nice deep breath, and stop doubting yourself for a second. The way you reacted was natural, too much pressure built up and you burst. DON'T feel stupid, you were very brave to stand up for yourself. You should actually be really proud of yourself. Second, don't become apologetic if what you said you meant but came out wrong. Tell them your sorry about HOW you told them, but what you were trying to tell them is still true. You deserve more than to be brushed off. If you didn't mean what you said and it was purely defensive. Again, tell them. Any animal attacks when it's cornered and feels threatened, it's completely natural and again you're not going mad. If you just try to explain, they will listen. Even if they don't understand, you'll know you've done everything to explain and then really they should do some research on Anxiety. Believe me, you sound like me a few years ago. It doesn't get better unless you talk.

Thank u so much but what if I haven't talked to this person in 3 years, and then all of sudden sent this?
It won't be easy, but they'll know you need to talk to them now. They don't really know who you are, what you've gone through, what you are living through day to day, and what you've overcome to be where you are today.
I hadn't seen my Dad in 3 years so I know how hard it can be to speak openly with someone who's now become almost a stranger to you. But they love you, and they'll always love you. No matter how badly you say what you want to say, they'll still love you. I've said horrible things to my mum and none of it she deserved, but she loves me and put up with it. Now I wouldn't dream of giving her anything but compliments, I promise you, you're going to be fine. I believe in you.

Yeah. Your post made me feel alot lot better, but at the same time. I will talk to this family member over the phone this weekend and I just want to know how do I go by explaining without them thinking in holding onto to the past? Cause since letting it out. I felt bad, and it brought on Anxiety, and Panic. But now that it's out, I feel better about that family member. But how do I explain in your opinion?? How would you?

Tell them exactly what you just told me! That there's been things you've been holding onto and need to get off your chest. Tell them it upset you after your last conversation, but you feel a bit better now after sharing. And then tell them there's more you need to say. I really do know how hard it is, but you can't let this eat you up inside. You need to express the pain you're feeling. They aren't mind readers and they'd probably love to know more about what's going on in your head. Like I said before you should be proud of yourself, that anxiety is natural. Take a deep breath every now and again while speaking to them, and try to be as truthful as possible. In other words try to think before you speak, it's easy to say "You did this you're a horrible person" It's a lot harder but important to say "You did this, it made me feel like__" I hope this helps, let me know what happens. If you want to speak more feel free to pm. :)
 

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