I have doubts whether to continue my relationship or not.

Welcome everybody,

I have made my account in this forum with a specific purpose - having some clues, getting information. Thus excuse me if the topic is placed in a wrong section etc etc, mea culpa.

I am an 18 years old boy. Also, I have a girlfriend, with whom I would have been together for 4 years in September.  Recently though, I am having mixed thoughts about my relationship. I am aware that I can't elaborate and picture my whole relationship in one post, but I will try to do my best.

She is one year younger, lives 15km from me, not any barrier. I admire her caring about me and the fact that we know each other for so long that we are like best friends who can truly be themselves near each other. Telling each other every secret, having some weird couple rituals and so on and so forth. As I mentioned, my heart melts when I hear or read her texts so full of caring and love, that's a trait which makes me so doubtful about a possible break-up.

On the other hand, she is also moody. She can interrupt me mid-sentence and get angry with me because she didn't wait to get to know my full thought. Apart from this, she behaves a bit like a child (she's an only child btw). What's more, maybe it will surprise you - we differ in almost every field possible. I am more of a science man whereas she loves literature and poetry, I don't really feel idealistic - she would like to "change the world", meet artists. I am just a simple person with simple plans and career prospects. And the final point we argued a number of times - she's got a city of her dreams where she would love to study and mine preferred city is completely different - closer to home, easier to get to, better university for my subject. 

I haven't doubted until recently. Having gone to high school (I will be attending it for the last year, she's got one more) I have met some new friends, reinforced bonds with old ones. My girlfriend doesn't completely like most of them and would rather I didn't meet with them. I don't overuse alcohol though I drink truly small amounts to ease during parties so that the atmosphere is just a little bit more pleasant. She doesn't drink at all and I respect that, but this is yet another difference or two between us.

My whole problem stems off the fact that I used to have only her and now I've got some friends. Nobody forces anything but I feel like I should choose. Friends to study with, to throw small parties with, to hang out freely with or girlfriend, stability, future family plans, studying in a city I don't want to study in.

I feel like I'm missing some stupid, naive wilderness of heart, I lack new,exciting memories, I lack connection with people. Everything together makes me feel like a total jerk - nice girlfriend with some temper, idealistic, caring, full of love, and I want to leave all that for some stupid memories which may fade, friends who may split into single people scattered throughout the country, some stupid one-night parties. I feel as if I was stuck in a chess stalemate or as if hamartia ruled my whole life. What frustrates me the most is that arrogant, narcistic feeling that what I fear the most is being left alone with nobody by my side. I fear that I won't be able to find any girlfriend anymore. I won't be able to love anybody else anymore. What do you think about that? If I had to explain anything, feel free to notice me. Moreover, feel free to judge me. I feel as if I had a piano pushing down my chest,,,

Not going to judge you. I understand how you feel, but your situation is simpler than you realize. There's one thing to think about and one question to ask yourself.

The thing to think about is once something is gone, odds are good it'll never come back again. If you damage, or abandon the relationship you are in to "party" for lack of a better word, which is understandable given your age, odds are you will never get that relationship back again, so if you realize you truly did love her 5 years from now, it's too late. And even if you get back with her, odds are the relationship will never ever be the same again.

Which leads me to the question. Simple, honest. Sit down on it and REALLY think about it, don't just answer it, because it's the key thing. Because relationship aren't just about the good times, but also about the bad times, about sacrifice and about respect.
Do you love her?
If the answer is YES, you know what to do.
If the answer is no, you also know what to do.
But whatever it is, do it.

Good luck, kid.

Thank you for your wise wirds, I will consider everything thoroughly before taking any further steps, apply your suggestions into consideration as well.

Lots of warm feelings towards you and all the best!

If you choose your friends over your girlfriend, or your girlfriend over your friends, there will be resentment. Whether it's resentment for yourself, your girlfriend or your friends.

How does she word it when she says she would rather you not meet with them? Is it "NO, YOU CAN'T GO" or something like "I don't care for your friends, they are bad influences"?

That said, you shouldn't choose between one or the other. You should look at your relationships and determine whether they are good for you or not. If they are not, considering removing them from your life. If they are good for you, keep them as they are and just have a talk with your girlfriend about it.

"My girlfriend doesn't completely like most of them and would rather I didn't meet with them."

Why the hell is that anyone's business but yours? The fact that she's commenting on this to your face is a red flag. You don't need to run your movements and decisions past a committee panel consisting of her.

You're both young and as you point out, don't have much in common. Why put off the inevitable.