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mattsmom

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Hi,
I'm very frustrated by the fact that I meet someone new, or someone I've known for a while then becomes a friend, and then I make them so jealous that the friendship 'burns out'.  Had this happen to me 2 weeks ago, I was showing her my professional recommendation (we both work as psychics for the same site), then all of a sudden for no reason given, she blocks me on FB, everywhere. 

I almost always have to be the one to reach out.  and YES, I have done a ton for these 'friends', I wasn't just shoving me in her face.  People have commented that I tend to be very 'me' focused-  well, so are they.  I bend my back over for my 'friends' and this is how I get treated.

So for now I am choosing to have nobody.  Nobody has met the criterion of returning their friendship in turn to me and therefore I shall be alone.

I'm over $70,000 in credit card debt, there are people complaining all they have is a house to their name at 55yo, I'm almost 43.  I'm pathetic.
 
Doesn't matter what people think.

Be you. Sometimes, you might not fit with all types of personalities, but eventually you will.
I'm 38. My friend you can count on one hand. But they're friends who'd attack city hall for me. It takes times and it takes being yourself. Just don't lose hope. Also, don't bend over backwards. Friendship is a natural, fluid thing. If right off the bat you help them all the time, they're only going to see you as someone useful. Just talk about whatever, the little things. That leads to the big things.
Just be yourself, is all. You'll eventually find shoe to match.
I don't even have a house to my name, I pretty much only have an Xbox. So you're golden ;-)
 
Thanks. I called a psychic on a competing network today, she said normally isolation isn't a behavior she'd recommend (and normally I wouldn't either) - but for me, I'm the rare person she said should isolate.

I've stopped trying anyways. Nobody I meet likes me back. Done done and done.

I can say this. Enjoying one's own company, whether it be through masturbation, time with God, whatever...THAT is GOLDEN. There is no criticism, no telling you you're too fat, too ugly or any of that. Just pure fantasy. And apparently that's all I need anyways.
 
mattsmom said:
I can say this.   Enjoying one's own company, whether it be through masturbation, time with God, whatever...THAT is GOLDEN.  There is no criticism, no telling you you're too fat, too ugly or any of that.  Just pure fantasy.  And apparently that's all I need anyways.

LOL ! Me too. 

I did that this year. I withdrew from a lot of my friends. I just felt like they weren't worth the effort and I wasn't getting anything from them. Over and over again I would post something and get like one or two - two line responses. But they would write a book and have people fawning all over them. I just faced it... I wasn't the popular one and I was there to "service" them. Service their needs and I would only be tolerated if I did what they wanted.

I just decided to take that effort I used to expend on them and devote it to me. I used that time to really invest in financial things and I am so excited with my progress and I don't miss them at all. 

I like the way it feels to want to come home and tell someone something and then remember there isn't anyone there for me and just practice being like, well why do I need to tell anyone anything? That is a habit that I have learned from this extrovert world and it actually feels good most of the time not to run home and tell them every little thing.  Why can't I be my own best friend? I can.. 

Of course, I do come here and other websites to get some place to say a few words and of course I talk to people at work other places.
 
mattsmom said:
Thanks.   I called a psychic on a competing network today, she said normally isolation isn't a behavior she'd recommend (and normally I wouldn't either) - but for me, I'm the rare person she said should isolate.  

I've stopped trying anyways.  Nobody I meet likes me back.  Done done and done.  

I can say this.   Enjoying one's own company, whether it be through masturbation, time with God, whatever...THAT is GOLDEN.  There is no criticism, no telling you you're too fat, too ugly or any of that.  Just pure fantasy.  And apparently that's all I need anyways.
I agree with Richard. Friendship should be natural and fluid. A friend likes and accepts someone for who they are, not what they have/don't have, or what benefits can be gained from being around them. If they only want to self benefit you're better off without them. Don't give up, there are nice caring people out there.

I also agree with you that enjoying your own company is golden. I can quite happily not leave the house or speak to anyone for days.
 
Hey, thank you so much. I appreciate everyone's responses! I know I sounded bitter but my life has not been such an easy road. Last year I was so sick I was placed on a liver transplant list (ended up not needing one), I'm an only child with abusive parents so I've had to estrange myself from both of them. That's just the beginning. Been through an ugly divorce and a lot of things alone that most people have support for. Anyways - I appreciate hearing from more people. was starting to get a little worried I had alienated everyone, even here.

Thanks again!
 
mattsmom said:
Hey, thank you so much.  I appreciate everyone's responses!  I know I sounded bitter but my life has not been such an easy road.  Last year I was so sick I was placed on a liver transplant list (ended up not needing one), I'm an only child with abusive parents so I've had to estrange myself from both of them.  That's just the beginning.  Been through an ugly divorce and a lot of things alone that most people have support for. 

Hey maybe there is a reason to be bitter these days. My parents are dead and I haven't had an easy road either. I think perhaps when you haven't had an easy road you learn to be independent. Then you realize that you don't need bad friends and it is hard to really capitulate to them.. . when you know you don't have to.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
mattsmom said:
Hey, thank you so much.  I appreciate everyone's responses!  I know I sounded bitter but my life has not been such an easy road.  Last year I was so sick I was placed on a liver transplant list (ended up not needing one), I'm an only child with abusive parents so I've had to estrange myself from both of them.  That's just the beginning.  Been through an ugly divorce and a lot of things alone that most people have support for. 

Hey maybe there is a reason to be bitter these days. My parents are dead and I haven't had an easy road either. I think perhaps when you haven't had an easy road you learn to be independent. Then you realize that you don't need bad friends and it is hard to really capitulate to them.. . when you know you don't have to.

I agree, I spent the last 5 years being a good friend, supporting my ex through an abusive marriage (Not to me, after she left me) Helped her regain some of her lost confidence and she repays me by going and dating someone else. Granted, I didn't do it for any reason other than helping the mother of my child, but she knew I had feelings for her still and she basically said thanks and moved on, and now we hardly even speak....

so ya, its not wrong to feel bitter when you've given all and had no show of gratitude, even if that's not why you did it.
 

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