What Compliments Do You Hate?

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Osiris

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This is after a rich, successful mate of mine (Beautiful girlfriend as well... :club: ) Introduced me to this girlfriend as "He's a really nice chap".... And ever since it's really rubbed me up the wrong way. I know he was actually trying to say to his girlfriend "Good man, I trust him" sort of thing but still I don't know why but it's rubbed me up the wrong way. I was wondering if anyone else had problems with compliments meant nicely but you take them the wrong way?
 
Ditto. Always feel like they're either the precursor to asking me something, or just some way to try and get me at ease.
Call me paranoid. lol.
 
I don't see the point in hating a compliment. Someone will always see something nice or good in a person. Even if I don't care for it, I say thanks and move on with my day.
 
I don't like any of them. They always feel like just "puffery" that is a prelude to someone who wants something.
 
"Nice" is something I hate too. I feel like it's a backhanded compliment, like it's something people say when they are sneering down on you. I hate it when people think they can look down on me, it pisses me off. I don't care much about people that I don't like looking down on me, it's just an annoyance. But I really hate it when the person is someone I actually like, but stupid stuff like social status or my old narrative get in the way and keeps me from coming off the way I want to. It makes me feel like if I just knew how to do things differently, it wouldn't be that way. I don't want to be a **** loser. I just don't know this stuff naturally.

I've been trying now for a while to figure out what other traits I would be okay with getting, and how to get them, so that people will stop thinking of me as "nice" first, and something more interesting or powerful instead.
 
VanillaCreme said:
I don't see the point in hating a compliment. Someone will always see something nice or good in a person. Even if I don't care for it, I say thanks and move on with my day.

Yeah, usually I'd just thank them and fight my inner demons screaming otherwise, internally.
 
Some compliments are sincere, believe it or not. One needs to consider the source and what they're saying.

I told this to a friend yesterday, "I just want to say that I'm impressed that ***** wrote a thank you card, you've raised a fine young man." I would hate to think that my friend shrugged this off as fake and I know that she accepted it as genuine.
 
SofiasMami said:
Some compliments are sincere, believe it or not. One needs to consider the source and what they're saying.

I told this to a friend yesterday, "I just want to say that I'm impressed that ***** wrote a thank you card, you've raised a fine young man." I would hate to think that my friend shrugged this off as fake and I know that she accepted it as genuine.

This is eerily close to what happened to me a couple of weeks ago! So I can actually answer this. If you're saying it to your friend that's fine. My mum had a message from an old friend of hers when I left a bar saying "You've raised such a polite young man" it made my mum really happy. So for that, I can't fault it. It was nice to hear my mum sounding proud.

But again I didn't like it myself, it seems to be the only compliment I get. When my mum told me, I didn't know how to react. it was one of those "....thanks, I guess" kind of things. I guess it's how the person you are complimenting sees themselves. Sort of like telling an anorexic "you look good now you've put weight on". My "Politeness" comes from social anxiety and not wanting to upset anyone. So when someone says "You're so polite" it's hard for me to take as a compliment because I don't actually want to be that polite. I'd prefer someone telling me "You were a bit harsh then" because that's progress to me.

All I'm trying to get across is think about what's progress to that person, telling a boxer "you did well" after their first loss for example won't help. A better compliment gives them room to improve "You'll do better next time, you've got that something about you" is a much better compliment.

The sad thing is, I know both compliments I've mentioned in this thread were meant with nothing but love. I know they were genuine, It's just not what I wanted to hear. When you said "One needs to consider the source and what they're saying" a part of me feels slightly hurt I can't take a compliment. Some of these people I've known since I was young, my mum's friend for example is more like an aunty. (Even though that would mean I fancy my cousin lol, her daughter's beautiful). I'm going off track :p

Your friend (unless insecure about her son) will have taken that as a compliment. Only if her son is insecure might he take it the wrong way.

I hope that helped and thanks for the comment
 
ladyforsaken said:
VanillaCreme said:
I don't see the point in hating a compliment. Someone will always see something nice or good in a person. Even if I don't care for it, I say thanks and move on with my day.

Yeah, usually I'd just thank them and fight my inner demons screaming otherwise, internally.

This. Exactly this.

Why would one hate a compliment? If it's not genuine, you can feel it and it's easy to deal with. If it's genuine and you're uncomfortable by it, try to see where the other person is coming from - probably fondness towards you.
 
Osiris said:
SofiasMami said:
Some compliments are sincere, believe it or not. One needs to consider the source and what they're saying.

I told this to a friend yesterday, "I just want to say that I'm impressed that ***** wrote a thank you card, you've raised a fine young man." I would hate to think that my friend shrugged this off as fake and I know that she accepted it as genuine.

This is eerily close to what happened to me a couple of weeks ago! So I can actually answer this. If you're saying it to your friend that's fine. My mum had a message from an old friend of hers when I left a bar saying "You've raised such a polite young man" it made my mum really happy. So for that, I can't fault it. It was nice to hear my mum sounding proud.

But again I didn't like it myself, it seems to be the only compliment I get. When my mum told me, I didn't know how to react. it was one of those "....thanks, I guess" kind of things. I guess it's how the person you are complimenting sees themselves. Sort of like telling an anorexic "you look good now you've put weight on". My "Politeness" comes from social anxiety and not wanting to upset anyone. So when someone says "You're so polite" it's hard for me to take as a compliment because I don't actually want to be that polite. I'd prefer someone telling me "You were a bit harsh then" because that's progress to me.

All I'm trying to get across is think about what's progress to that person, telling a boxer "you did well" after their first loss for example won't help. A better compliment gives them room to improve "You'll do better next time, you've got that something about you" is a much better compliment.

The sad thing is, I know both compliments I've mentioned in this thread were meant with nothing but love. I know they were genuine, It's just not what I wanted to hear. When you said "One needs to consider the source and what they're saying" a part of me feels slightly hurt I can't take a compliment. Some of these people I've known since I was young, my mum's friend for example is more like an aunty. (Even though that would mean I fancy my cousin lol, her daughter's beautiful). I'm going off track :p

Your friend (unless insecure about her son) will have taken that as a compliment. Only if her son is insecure might he take it the wrong way.

I hope that helped and thanks for the comment

That's way too much thinking and analysis for a simple compliment. ;)

When someone offers a kind word, take it at face value and say "thanks". Don't worry, you'll encounter enough rudeness in this world to counterbalance the compliments. Then you'll be glad when nice words come your way. :)
 
DarkSelene said:
ladyforsaken said:
VanillaCreme said:
I don't see the point in hating a compliment. Someone will always see something nice or good in a person. Even if I don't care for it, I say thanks and move on with my day.

Yeah, usually I'd just thank them and fight my inner demons screaming otherwise, internally.

This. Exactly this.

Why would one hate a compliment? If it's not genuine, you can feel it and it's easy to deal with. If it's genuine and you're uncomfortable by it, try to see where the other person is coming from - probably fondness towards you.

For me, I hate myself. So when someone gives me a compliment I almost feel like replying "No, I'm a prick actually". I wasn't going to say this but I will. One of the people complimenting me saying how "He's so polite" I just wanna speak to her daughter, we played as kids and now (Thanks facebook) she's literally the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I'm an ******* in disguise and when people like me I feel like telling people, "If I were you, I'd hate me". So the "fondness towards you" part I really struggle with. I feel so much more comfortable being called a "selfish c*nt" because that, I agree with.
 
Lately, I've been getting comments on how beautiful I am, or how nicely I'm always dressed.

The only reason why compliments make me uncomfortable is because I know just as easily as they are complimenting me, they most likely will be insulting me, behind my back. 

Also, the "compliments" are all based on superficial elements, like my face, my outfit, my body...and that's it. Never anything deeper. The very same people that give me these compliments are telling my other coworkers how smart they are, how authoritative they are, and bubbly and sweet they are, and how good they are. 

I know I'm being very low right now. I'm saying I hate compliments. But still, if I were to get them I'd prefer to be worthy of compliments that praise my character, not my clothes.
 
I don't like any compliments, it embarrasses me. I have a boss who likes to give out compliment and I've done it too with people who worked under me at my last job, I liked making people feel good about what they did. But getting them is a completely different story.
 
"nice" and "cute" are 2 words that should be banned form the English language.


Sci-Fi said:
I don't like any compliments, it embarrasses me.

I am the same way. I want to be complimented but at the same time I know how I cringe when my name gets called out as doing something good.
I also don't like criticism.
 
blackdot said:
"nice" and "cute" are 2 words that should be banned form the English language.


Sci-Fi said:
I don't like any compliments, it embarrasses me.

I am the same way. I want to be complimented but at the same time I know how I cringe when my name gets called out as doing something good.
I also don't like criticism.



I'd rather be criticized than complimented, I think.  I'm used to that.  lol
 
"You're smart."

Yeah, I know that...-_-...believe me, there's no need to remind me. I exist for the sole purpose of free education to my own knowledge's capacity. If I offend your ego I'm sorry for handing you the tools to help make you into the better person that you want to be that you underhandedly asked me for because you couldn't choke up the question directly.
 
I love compliments on something I did or something I worked for getting. Like when people say they like my house, or I did a good job at work.

I need to get better at being okay with compliments on looks. People wouldn't say it, if it wasn't on their mind. I need to keep that in perspective, because not everyone is malicious. Heck, most aren't.
 
It's rare that I receive a compliment, so I am okay with it.
Criticism, on the other hand...haha. A panoply of those!
 

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