SofiasMami said:
Some compliments are sincere, believe it or not. One needs to consider the source and what they're saying.
I told this to a friend yesterday, "I just want to say that I'm impressed that ***** wrote a thank you card, you've raised a fine young man." I would hate to think that my friend shrugged this off as fake and I know that she accepted it as genuine.
This is eerily close to what happened to me a couple of weeks ago! So I can actually answer this. If you're saying it to your friend that's fine. My mum had a message from an old friend of hers when I left a bar saying "You've raised such a polite young man" it made my mum really happy. So for that, I can't fault it. It was nice to hear my mum sounding proud.
But again I didn't like it myself, it seems to be the only compliment I get. When my mum told me, I didn't know how to react. it was one of those "....thanks, I guess" kind of things. I guess it's how the person you are complimenting sees themselves. Sort of like telling an anorexic "you look good now you've put weight on". My "Politeness" comes from social anxiety and not wanting to upset anyone. So when someone says "You're so polite" it's hard for me to take as a compliment because I don't actually want to be that polite. I'd prefer someone telling me "You were a bit harsh then" because that's progress to me.
All I'm trying to get across is think about what's progress to that person, telling a boxer "you did well" after their first loss for example won't help. A better compliment gives them room to improve "You'll do better next time, you've got that something about you" is a much better compliment.
The sad thing is, I know both compliments I've mentioned in this thread were meant with nothing but love. I know they were genuine, It's just not what I wanted to hear. When you said "One needs to consider the source and what they're saying" a part of me feels slightly hurt I can't take a compliment. Some of these people I've known since I was young, my mum's friend for example is more like an aunty. (Even though that would mean I fancy my cousin lol, her daughter's beautiful). I'm going off track
Your friend (unless insecure about her son) will have taken that as a compliment. Only if her son is insecure might he take it the wrong way.
I hope that helped and thanks for the comment