Osiris
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2017
- Messages
- 130
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This is going to be one hell of a rant so I apologize in advance, in fact no I don't. I've had enough of me always being at the back of everyone's minds, last to know everything. I feel like I care about everyone and barely anyone cares about me. I constantly give 100%, trying to cheer people up when they're down. Yet when the tables turn NO-ONE'S there for me! I think girls look at me as "nice, but not boyfriend material" and I'm done. Well done girls you've created a monster. I don't give a fresia no more. From now on, everything's about me! From now I'm selfish and i'm ******* proud of it!
Today at work I got heat exhaustion, I started seeing black dots, heating up but not sweating, feeling sick, you name it! And do you know what? Not one person gave a flying fresia, I actually thought I was going to pass out and someone would have to find me in the toilets or something. My sister sat there eating ******* chips watching me trying not to faint. She doesn't work there so why the fresia does she think she shouldn't ask if i'm okay. If the tables were turned I would have been there for her. This is when I thought it might be a good idea to mention it to my dad (my boss as well) as we've only just opened our restaurant a few days ago, I understand people being too preoccupied to notice me feeling ill. What I don't understand is instead of getting me a cold water or helping me, I got a honeysuckle ton of useless crap spew from him. "It's those energy drinks, you're not eating enough. It's not that hot!" at this point I was crouched trying my best not too pass out and all i could was see black dots. So I had enough of the "advice" at this point and told him very bluntly "No, it's because there's a ******* heat wave, I haven't slept all night and I haven't been drinking enough water, okay?" This is probably the first time I've spoke to my dad like this as an adult and I was actually surprised by what happened, he could finally see I was serious and asked "do you want to go back home?".....……...
*Deep breath* The thing I've noticed is, it isn't even being assertive. I've noticed you have to bully your way through life, because otherwise everyone thinks they can use you.
The other thing I'm done doing is being there for people who wouldn't be there for me! Like fresia am I replying to your messages now, when I struggle it's just me!
I've always cared too much! Someone sends me a sob story and I'm there for them, I tell them something and it's like "Yeah, that sucks" if I'm lucky!
So! Here's my official resignation from being a "Nice guy" I don't give a fresia no more, my compassion levels will now be based on how others are when I need help because I can't do this anymore. When I was younger I had terrible depression, thought about killing myself everyday. Now I realise I've never been the problem, everyone else has!
If you've read this far, thank you so much. You've given more more time of your day than anyone I know personally would!
fresia being nice! I'm being a selfish prick from now on!
Today at work I got heat exhaustion, I started seeing black dots, heating up but not sweating, feeling sick, you name it! And do you know what? Not one person gave a flying fresia, I actually thought I was going to pass out and someone would have to find me in the toilets or something. My sister sat there eating ******* chips watching me trying not to faint. She doesn't work there so why the fresia does she think she shouldn't ask if i'm okay. If the tables were turned I would have been there for her. This is when I thought it might be a good idea to mention it to my dad (my boss as well) as we've only just opened our restaurant a few days ago, I understand people being too preoccupied to notice me feeling ill. What I don't understand is instead of getting me a cold water or helping me, I got a honeysuckle ton of useless crap spew from him. "It's those energy drinks, you're not eating enough. It's not that hot!" at this point I was crouched trying my best not too pass out and all i could was see black dots. So I had enough of the "advice" at this point and told him very bluntly "No, it's because there's a ******* heat wave, I haven't slept all night and I haven't been drinking enough water, okay?" This is probably the first time I've spoke to my dad like this as an adult and I was actually surprised by what happened, he could finally see I was serious and asked "do you want to go back home?".....……...
*Deep breath* The thing I've noticed is, it isn't even being assertive. I've noticed you have to bully your way through life, because otherwise everyone thinks they can use you.
The other thing I'm done doing is being there for people who wouldn't be there for me! Like fresia am I replying to your messages now, when I struggle it's just me!
I've always cared too much! Someone sends me a sob story and I'm there for them, I tell them something and it's like "Yeah, that sucks" if I'm lucky!
So! Here's my official resignation from being a "Nice guy" I don't give a fresia no more, my compassion levels will now be based on how others are when I need help because I can't do this anymore. When I was younger I had terrible depression, thought about killing myself everyday. Now I realise I've never been the problem, everyone else has!
If you've read this far, thank you so much. You've given more more time of your day than anyone I know personally would!
fresia being nice! I'm being a selfish prick from now on!