I am starting to develop feelings for the first time in 10 years

I've met this woman on a dating site and seems like things are going well, 
we talk every day, we meet, things are just moving on remarkably well. 

she is a very sensitive person, came from a house full of sisters and looks like she grew up well, maybe that's
why she is so supportive and sweet toward anyone, especially to me. 

A part of me is scared, I fear to tell her about my awful childhood and the way my parents treat one another. 
However, she has her ways to get to me like only one other woman could, even hearing her voice at night after long day of work 
gives me a lot of strength.

I am 31, I've been alone for a decade,  what do I know of relationships, yet these feelings are genuine and I am terrified of it, 
being alone is all I Knew for so long and whenever I think about pushing her away, I see her smile and just want her closer to me.

roy1986 said:

I've met this woman on a dating site and seems like things are going well, 
we talk every day, we meet, things are just moving on remarkably well. 

she is a very sensitive person, came from a house full of sisters and looks like she grew up well, maybe that's
why she is so supportive and sweet toward anyone, especially to me. 

A part of me is scared, I fear to tell her about my awful childhood and the way my parents treat one another. 
However, she has her ways to get to me like only one other woman could, even hearing her voice at night after long day of work 
gives me a lot of strength.

I am 31, I've been alone for a decade,  what do I know of relationships, yet these feelings are genuine and I am terrified of it, 
being alone is all I Knew for so long and whenever I think about pushing her away, I see her smile and just want her closer to me.

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That's one of the nicest things I've ever read on this site. What's there to worry about? You might have had an awful childhood but if she cares she'll just want to give you a hug. And don't assume people have had a good childhood, she might have had some horrible experiences when she was younger that helped her become this amazing woman you say she is. Just be yourself and everything will be fine, so far it's done okay for you!

Someone very smart told me this: It doesn't have to be complicated.

Do you feel like the feeling is mutual and she cares for you? Do you care about her and her well-being? Do you want to make her happy? Do you want to continue feeling happy? ...then let things run its course. If you're scared, open the lines of communication, tell her about your fears and listen to her perspective on it. If you want to share your story with her, share it - it's your story and made you who you are now, if she likes you she'll appreciate it for that. If you feel like you're starting to push her away or find imaginary obstacles to stop you from enjoying this feeling: tell her. Tell her. Be partners, be supportive and caring towards each other, be communicative, show her who you are and try to enjoy who she is and how she makes you feel. There's no need for panic - if you're happy, let yourself be happy.

That's really great. Hope it all goes well for you Roy. Just remember to take it easy and enjoy it!

roy1986 said:

A part of me is scared, I fear to tell her about my awful childhood and the way my parents treat one another. 
However, she has her ways to get to me like only one other woman could, even hearing her voice at night after long day of work 
gives me a lot of strength.

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Your childhood wasn't your fault. She'll know that.

Other than that I think Selene and Amelia pretty much nailed anything I was gonna say after reading your post. 

Take it easy and communicate.

Try not to let your fears get the best of you.

There's a good chance she's worried about what you might think of something about her when you find out, who knows?

And honestly who isn't worried about how someone they're attracted might react to anything out of the ordinary?

That sounds lovely Roy, that is great you found someone. I have not been in a relationship and am 30, I can imagine it could be kind of scary in a way, or at least make you feel anxious, something certainly not within the comfort zone. Naturally you are scared of saying something that you think might turn her away in some way, though if she cares for you then I am sure she would be very understanding.

Rabbit is right I think. Try and take it easy and communicate, and try not to let fears about this get the best of you. Try to be calm, collected and let things flow as naturally as possible.

Hey Roy, the woman you date reminds me of my boyfriend a little. He also came from a house full of brothers and sisters, had fair life too and often is very supportive. He knows of how miserable I am, he sees me often suffer. But because he didn't pass harsh life like I did, he can't really understand me and my issues thing. He is free of mental problems but I am blown up with them. People around him dislike me for being unhealthy and support him to dump me for someone healthier and more functional.. it sucks so much. Even he himself gets drained from all my catastrophes and there were times he considered to leave me.

You may try to tell her the truth, if your mental suffering isn't that bad and you have strength to handle it then it may be tolerable for her. But if you are sensitive to disappointments, got abandonment issues, emotionally dependent and got constant crisis then she may feel drained and it may be difficult for her, depends on the intensity and chronicity of the issues she may even want to get out. But hey, if you want love without pretending and compassion then try to be real with her, if she constantly shows genuine support she might be worth something. Just care to give her space and don't mooch from  her too much and try to workout though your issues or she will start thinking "why do I need all this"... unless she is blindly in love but I doubt a person can fall blindly in love for uncharming lonely losers like us.

... You’re right to be wary. Some people present themselves that way out of a need for quick-fix validation (online where it’s easier to quickly cut ties). You’re probably not stupid and already aware of the likelihood.

The beginning stage of romantic relationships isn’t the ideal place to share all.

ardour said:

... You’re right to be wary. Some people present themselves that way out of a need for quick-fix validation (online where it’s easier to idealize the ‘target’ then quickly cut ties). You’re probably not stupid and already aware of the likelihood.  

The beginning stage of romantic relationships isn’t the ideal place for to share all.

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That's rather cynical of you when you don't know the girl or the situation.  Not every person on the internet is out to get you and use you and hurt you. 

Long story short, if you're wary of telling her everything, hold off a bit, but eventually, you're going to have to take a risk if you want to gain anything or anyone.

I agree with ardour. I think most men would be able to relate/understand the reasoning behind it. You learn after enough experiences.

I went out of my way to try not to warn/ kill hope in this thread because I dont want to be completely pessimistic. But yeah, be careful OP. Dont get too attached. Good luck.

The problem is my trust issues, there are some feelings I have and stories which I will take to the grave and not tell anyone, but I am mostly scared to believe in something which doesn't exist.

Last time I opened up to a girl, she got married and used me as her psychiatrist for 6 months before telling me the truth.

I'd also say be careful.  Too much about issues too soon causes problems a lot of the time, and it's hard to find someone who is understanding of that. I feel like revealing too many problems too soon creates an overall negative image of you with a girl, which can be hard to fix.  I don't know if it is more of a problem in the modern world, or if it has always been that way.  I don't think you necessarily have to open up with your issues, so to me, it makes more sense to save it for later, after you've already gotten to know the girl better and established a good image of yourself with her more, that won't fall apart if you reveal some issues to her.  You always want to come across like the positive things about you outweigh the negatives.  I also wish you luck - romantic loneliness just sucks, and it would be inspiring to see more guys like us beat it.