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user 139760

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I had planned on becoming a regular here, all the people here seem really nice and cool and I've nothing but good things to say, but...I just lived an event yesterday that broke the proverbial camel's back. I don't know how to deal with it yet, but considering what's going to happens, odds are good I'll be seeing a shrink again and it won't be fun.

My oldest daughter is growing up into a young woman. She's a real daddy's girl and very mature for her age. I couldn't have dreamed to have better daughters than them.
Since about november, she had stopped having her period, which had started for about a year. About 2 months in, we visited a doctor and considering she had told them (I wasn't there) she had never had sexual relations, doctor ordered some blood tests, a bunch of others, held her belly which had started swelling and said it happened sometimes during adolescence, just wait and it'll probably start again.
She went a few other times with her mom for other tests, my mind wasn't on pregnancy but on anything else. I began worrying and I'm not the overly worrying type. Still wasn't thinking pregnancy.
Yesterday, her mom said she was bringning her for tests. we had spoken about it and I told her to do it before vacation and that i'd go if she asked. She went...they gave her more analysis and pregnancy tests.
My baby is pregnant.
She still insists that she never had sexual relationships but revealed to us both, me and their mom, that someone might have had access to them both at some point in time.

I don't want to draw conclusions, I don't want to think, this all sounds like a big soap opera, but I'm so sad, stricken, destroyed and angry, that I could kill him over and over and over....
I want to kill him.

So, um...I'm not going to be around for a little while. It's too late for an abortion, so she'll be having the baby, I don't know if she'S going to keep it or not, she was talking adoption, but it might change once she actually holds him. Who knows. That will be, as I told her, her decision and I will abide by what she decides.
I'm a grandfather...god, this is so horrible. SO damned horrible...
There is going to be a child services investigation too, I hope they hurry up. I want the sick *******, whomever he may be if it's not who I think he is, to never see sky ever again. Hell, I'd like to inflict things on him that are too horrible to speak of, but I have to be there for my daugter. I'm responsible now.

I'll let you guys know. I don't believe in god anymore, I just can't, he can go f*ck himself, but at this point, if any of you wants to send a prayer my way, I thank you.

Richard.


***EDIT NOTE***

I changed a few things to make it more anonymous. Might be paranoia on my part, but we're apparently dealing with someone who knows his way a lot around computers, if it's really that. Don't know HOW good, but I'd like to not take any chances. Still felt it important to tell my tale. Took some numbers out of the text. changed a couple of things, and modified my profile, until this thing ends. I'll change it back once things move. Hopefully in a better direction. Take care y'all.
 
The whole thing is a touchy subject and I don't really do 'serious' conversation any longer, but I wish you all the best and I hope everything works out for you and your family.
 
Cavey said:
The whole thing is a touchy subject and I don't really do 'serious' conversation any longer, but I wish you all the best and I hope everything works out for you and your family.

Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
 
Richard_39 said:
I had planned on becoming a regular here, all the people here seem really nice and cool and I've nothing but good things to say, but...I just lived an event yesterday that broke the proverbial camel's back. I don't know how to deal with it yet, but considering what's going to happens, odds are good I'll be seeing a shrink again and it won't be fun.

My oldest daughter is 14. She's a real daddy's girl and very mature for her age. I couldn't have dreamed to have better daughters than them.
Since about november, she had stopped having her period, which had started for about a year. About 2 months in, we visited a doctor and considering she had told them (I wasn't there) she had never had sexual relations, doctor ordered some blood tests, a bunch of others, held her belly which had started swelling and said it happened sometimes during adolescence, just wait and it'll probably start again.
She went a few other times with her mom for other tests, my mind wasn't on pregnancy but on anything else. I began worrying and I'm not the overly worrying type. Still wasn't thinking pregnancy.
Yesterday, her mom said she was bringning her for tests. we had spoken about it and I told her to do it before vacation and that i'd go if she asked. She went...they gave her more analysis and pregnancy tests.
My baby is 7 months and a half pregnant.
She still insists that she never had sexual relationships but revealed to us both, me and my ex, that her mother's previous boyfriend, who they were together six years and had a child (sadly autistic) together...came sometimes in her room at night to "check if they were alright". My ex would call him back, because at some point, my daughter had told me she was uncomfortable around him, not that anything had happened, but that he was often touching her. I immiediately told her mom, who watched him like a hawk....apparently not enough, it seems to be looking like.

I don't want to draw conclusions, I don't want to think, this all sounds like a big soap opera, but I'm so sad, stricken, destroyed and angry, that I could kill him over and over and over....
My youngest is 8, I learned this today, I don't know if it's because of the circumstances but I'm very doubt filled, that she remembered waking up and that he was touching her privates...god, I want to kill HIM!

So, um...I'm not going to be around for a little while. It's too late for an abortion, so she'll be having the baby, I don't know if she'S going to keep it or not, she was talking adoption, but it might change once she actually holds him. Who knows. That will be, as I told her, her decision and I will abide by what she decides.
I'm a 38 year old grandfather...god, this is so horrible. SO damned horrible...
There is going to be a child services investigation too, I hope they hurry up. I want the sick *******, whomever he may be if it's not who I think he is, to never see sky ever again. Hell, I'd like to inflict things on him that are too horrible to speak of, but I have to be there for my daugter. I'm responsible now.

I'll let you guys know. I don't believe in god anymore, I just can't, he can go f*ck himself, but at this point, if any of you wants to send a prayer my way, I thank you.

Richard.

******* hell! I can't even imagine mate, I'm so sorry! What a....I can't even! I hope they lock that *word removed* up for good. I'm trying not too get angry just reading that, so I can't even comprehend what you're going through! I hope they have the death sentence where you live! Sometimes you forget there's *word removed* like that about! Words fail me! I'm so sorry mate, I'm thinking of you.
 
OMG so sorry to hear this Richard. Hang in there, as you always told me try to focus on the positive. There will be positive to come out of this I promise.
 
Jeez, that just nuts. If this guy did do what it seems like what he did from what you've told us he should be dropped into a deep hole somewhere to rot for the rest of his life.
 
Oh dear i am really sorry to heat that .hard to imagin what that sick fu*** did.
Hug * stay strong .your daughter needs you .everything will be alright.
 
Thanks to you all for your words, they really mean a lot to me, really. I'm not really sure how I feel right now, I'm torn between unending sadness and intense white hot rage. Being single for a long time, I used to look at girls, I particularly enjoyed a nice pair of legs (I'm sorry, I'm humain) but now...I can't even look without thinking...it's just so incredibly hard. I use my smoking breaks to go somewhere quiet and cry thinking that someone hurt my tiny little babies...
Today is my last day, for at least two weeks, after that, I have no idea. It'll depend upon a bunch of factors I don't know yet. If I never do come back, I want to let all of you know that I enjoyed my time here and that knowing you all made a positive impact in my life and made me feel a little better about it. I can't thank you enough and the only thing I want you to remember is to continue being yourselves, because you're great people and being you makes others feel better.

Goodbye, hopefully only for now.
xox
 
Richard_39 said:
Thanks to you all for your words, they really mean a lot to me, really. I'm not really sure how I feel right now, I'm torn between unending sadness and intense white hot rage. Being single for a long time, I used to look at girls, I particularly enjoyed a nice pair of legs (I'm sorry, I'm humain) but now...I can't even look without thinking...it's just so incredibly hard. I use my smoking breaks to go somewhere quiet and cry thinking that someone hurt my tiny little babies...
Today is my last day, for at least two weeks, after that, I have no idea. It'll depend upon a bunch of factors I don't know yet. If I never do come back, I want to let all of you know that I enjoyed my time here and that knowing you all made a positive impact in my life and made me feel a little better about it. I can't thank you enough and the only thing I want you to remember is to continue being yourselves, because you're great people and being you makes others feel better.

Goodbye, hopefully only for now.
xox

I'm actually holding back tears just reading that..You've been my best friend on here! Do what's best for you and your family mate. But remember you'll always have nothing but love on here for you man. You've helped me so much now I need to give you a little advice. There's nothing wrong with crying, there's nothing wrong with breaking down. You're a good man your "babies" are lucky to have you. I have nothing but respect for you man, I can't believe this happened to you.

Look after yourself! We'll always be here for you if you need us!...

I'll miss you mate
 
That is probably one of the worst things that could happen. Poor girl. Some times, the bad guys don't get the sentences they should, but in this case I think they might have some proof -_-

I do not believe in any kind of god, and I haven't seen much of justice on Earth, but I assure you, I do hope whatever little justice there are on Earth finds its way to you all.

Words can't describe this.
 
Update time.

I'll be brief. Things are looking good. The proper authorities are advised. I met them, and we're all working together. I also submitted myself to analysis, just to make sure no corners are unturned and am quick to dispel any doubts.
I can't WAIT until they nail him.
More on this at a latter date.
 
What a terrible thing to happen. Once it's clear beyond any reasonable doubt who the perpetrator is (your ex's ex presumably) you might want to post a facebook update naming him, or send a warning message to his friends and family.
 
Nobody knows of this yet. As of right now, a court order has been done preventing him from approaching my children, as well as his own son. I saw him, saw his face, and the THING (I refuse to refer to it as a man) refused to look at me. Even when I was yelling in court, before the judge called for order. His guilt is written all over his face.
I'm trying to calm down since tuesday when this happens, but never was I so close to end someone's life as I was. Which would have only been bad for me, although my kids would probably have slept safer that night.

I can't do anything of the kind until the criminal investigation concludes, or the sentencing falls, but trust me, I'll make sure his life, if it doesn't end in prison, becomes an inescapable nightmare. Everyone will know what he's done.
 
:( Just read about this. I'm so sorry, Richard. I hope some justice will be served.
 
New update. My daughter met with social workers to speak about adoption. She's not happy with her options and doesn't want anymore to not see that child for 18 years. So she's thinking of keeping it.

I can't deal with this. I don't think she realizes she's most likely to throw her life away and become part of the statistic of single-mothers living in poverty. Her mom'sd a professional welfare girl, so I'm sure she'll raise our daughter to be quite happy doing the same. She's still not old enough to realize that there won't BE any kind of help, no matter what the cute promises the DPJ does, that are going to help her put that kid through school or college and that they won't be there at 4 am to change diapers, she still thinks she'll be able to finish high school, college, university and start working as an investigator, WHILE working 40 hours a week. I explained to her she'll be sleeping 3 hours a night for a decade or so and she knows she won't be able to do it, yet she still wants to.... It's not my decision to make and it's a sad thing, but when she looks at me 10 years from now and says "Why didn't you tell me it was going to be this hard", what am I supposed to answer?
This is a **** nightmare.
THAT'S why age of consent should remain where it is, if not go higher. This is an unexpected thing, a crime, and look at the honeysuckle it wroughts. And since they won't ask child support of the father, a convincted fellon when the charges drop, who are they going to ask to pay for the kid? Who's child support will be extended for the next 20 years?!?

They didn't even think either of the implications of the law, because social laws being what they are, apparently the father of the child HAS rights (until I find him and kill him, that is), and say, 15 years from now when he asks to be removed from the pedo list because of good behavior or some such, he can ask to see his daughter, MY grandaughter..............................
This is messed up. I feel like I'm going to go insane. I've thought it before and I've always had to wrestle with that selfish notion of being a bad father for thinking it, but I would SO throw everything THE fresia away and leave. Just disappear. I'm tired of this honeysuckle, tired of life, tired of being strong, tired of trying to make people see sense, them not listening and then coming back to me saying "you were RIGHT, I should have listened to you".
I'm just goddamn tired and want it to end. I've had it and I want the fresia out of this ******* miserable pathetic ******* SHITBAG existence............
 
Oh well, Richard.

This topic sounds kind of alien to me, but then again I know these things exist in the society. Just don't directly relate to my life.

Basically your daughter needs to take a decision imminently, and this decision will have consequences for the rest of her life. Being a single mother from young age is pretty much a blow for the rest of the life, that much is clear.

Also what I have read is that women getting raped means their love life and trust in men would never be the same again.

I don't know, what advice to give. All I know is that there are people going through big sufferings in the world.

I would say one thing though. Instances like these are a pretty good argument why abortion should be allowed in the society. As there are debates about it occasionally.
 
SilentLife said:
Oh well, Richard.

This topic sounds kind of alien to me, but then again I know these things exist in the society. Just don't directly relate to my life.

Basically your daughter needs to take a decision imminently, and this decision will have consequences for the rest of her life. Being a single mother from young age is pretty much a blow for the rest of the life, that much is clear.

Also what I have read is that women getting raped means their love life and trust in men would never be the same again.

I don't know, what advice to give. All I know is that there are people going through big sufferings in the world.

I would say one thing though. Instances like these are a pretty good argument why abortion should be allowed in the society. As there are debates about it occasionally.

I agree.
I'm not a big fan of abortion. My second daughter was an "accident" (I had a rubber, my ex was on the pill, that kid REALLY wanted to come in this world badly lol) yet I took responsibility. But in cases like these, abortion is a viable option. ESPECIALLY with children. You can't force a 9-16 year old the responsibility to raise a child she did not want or ask for. In our particular case however, it was too late. Abortions after I believe 4 or 5 months are illegal in Canada.
Only good part is neither of them have memories of being raped. You would think none of it happened, yet her stomach is plenty evidence it did.

Also, the DNA tests came back; it's positive. He's been arrested and placed into custody pending accusations. ******* really did it, he raped both my kids.
So I don't know how long he'll be in jail for, or wether they're going to put him on the pedophile list. All I know is when he comes out and people start forgetting this whole story...I'll be waiting for him.

In the meantime, I'm concentrating on my daughter. After a brief turnaround, she's becoming deadset on giving her up for adoption. I know it's hard and I'm pissed off. It's **** unfair, DAAAMMMNNN unfair to force a choice like that, on an adult, much less a 14 year old child, much less MY 14 year old child. As you say, it will also affect, not only her life for the rest of it, but all our owns. I visited them this weekend to expose, in case she decides to keep it, what my own boundaries will be. As much as I adore children, I don't trust myself enough to think I would treat that granddaughter (I still have trouble with that word) the way a child deserves to be loved by her family. And being raised by her mother, my daughter, and her grandmother, would not be a boon to that kid, it would be a curse. She already has my two daughters and her own son, who's autist and very agressive, she barely copes. She will not say it, but a fourth kid will kill her. As much as I love my daughter, she will barely take care of her own (who can expect a 14 year old to be an awesome, caring mother when she's not even out of high school...) and it'll become my ex's responsibility. She'll die of exhaustion in less than 2 years.

Anyways, I'll keep you posted. I can't wait for the day I can laugh about all this. Although, somehow, I don't think I ever will.
 
Tough situation, and that's putting it mildly.

I really enjoy your posts here on this forum, Richard, and based on these I consider you a pretty smart man.

But as we know, life is not fair. The one thing that can be said about life though is that it's challenging. And new challenges are thrown at us whenever we least expect them. Some challenges are so tough that they could break us. And indeed do break some people.

It would be a major accomplishment if - as you say - one day you could laugh about it. Sometimes world and life can be so **** that you can only laugh about it. Nothing else left.

Good to know though that the b@stard has been arrested. And it didn't take even that long. As in contrast some of the b@stards in the society keep going for years and no-one can catch them...
 

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