Are You Honest With Yourself?

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Osiris

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What I mean is, a little while ago I posted a thread called (I'm Done Being "Nice"). And ever since I've been self-evaluating and thinking, what I've realised I think is true. My family and friends might disagree but I don't let them know the real me anyway. I think I'm a horrible, digusting human being. Everything I do is with an ulterior motive, I don't really "care" like other people do. I just want to have a bit of fun then die! I've never had a girlfriend for 3 reasons: I'm shallow, I don't like sharing, and the final isn't a selfish reason but I know they should go and find a man who wants to die at 80 or something. I'd rather die before I'm 40.

I'll give a quick confession of things I've done lately. Made friends with rich people just for job opportunities, hanging around people just because I fancy a family member(Two different people in the last 3 months, one was a friends sister the other is a friends daughter! "My age"). Made 2 accounts on a different forum, I befriended someone on one account then I was arguing with them on the other. Oh! And worst of all I'm trying to find a new job even though my dad wants me to work with him and I've pretended I'm happy with it...

The reason I asked this is because I feel I've spent a lot of my life being the "shy kid" when I was naturally an  *******, but wanting people to like me got in the way. I feel like a lot of socially anxious people are probably ******** but scared to admit it to themselves and would rather play a victim. "She was shallow, she only cares about the money"....you only cared about the tits! People are forgetting to look at themselves! When you point a finger, three point back at you for a reason. I guess I'm just fed up with everything, but all I see is people blaming others for their own mistakes.

So, rounding this up. How honest are you with yourself? Are you the type of person when things go wrong you blame everyone else but yourself. I really should of just called this "I hate myself" but I thought might as well see how others view themselves. It would be nice to hear if anyone else feels the same. Thank you for reading.
 
There are of course people out there who are ******** and you might not know it because they are shy. lol 
Being shy is of course actually a totally separate personality trait to being an ******* though.

I remember you made a post about being selfish etc on another part of the forum. While I became more selfish after being so selfless for years and years which was negative for me. I am very different to you personality wise it would seem. I don't ever act based on ulterior motives... That is like living a lie, I am a very honest person and too honest for that, I tell people how it is, even if a bit blunt. 

Personally I get a lot of personal confidence from the fact that I have good positive personal integrity and that I am super honest with myself and others. No one could put me down and talk behind my back saying I am a bad person or that I did something bad because I never have in my life, those would simply be lies. I am not some goodie-goodie, but I just don't lie or cheat or back stab or anything like that because of how much I value my own integrity. I have even defended people who are weaker than me physically and mentally against bullies when I was young... Bullies are pathetic. 

Lying to people, having a lack of honesty with yourself and others and such is never healthy and it is certainly not positive. Karma is going to bite you in the ass one day if you continue to lie with ulterior motives and manipulate for your own personal gain.
 
Osiris said:
What I mean is, a little while ago I posted a thread called (I'm Done Being "Nice"). And ever since I've been self-evaluating and thinking, what I've realised I think is true. My family and friends might disagree but I don't let them know the real me anyway. I think I'm a horrible, digusting human being. Everything I do is with an ulterior motive, I don't really "care" like other people do. I just want to have a bit of fun then die! I've never had a girlfriend for 3 reasons: I'm shallow, I don't like sharing, and the final isn't a selfish reason but I know they should go and find a man who wants to die at 80 or something. I'd rather die before I'm 40.

Welcome to the dark side my friend. This year has been one of trying to be authentic to who I am no matter all the chatter and things in my way.  I am going to be me... period.  But I don't think that makes you a disgusting human being. Just a human being.  

That is why there is the trope of the "nice guy" being something women don't want. Typically the nice guy isn't nice at all. He just plays that game because he wants to be liked and thinks that is an easy way to get it.  There is a difference between nice and kind.   But I am not nice. And I am not going to pretend I am anymore just to have friends that only tolerate me as long as they think I am "nice."
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
Osiris said:
What I mean is, a little while ago I posted a thread called (I'm Done Being "Nice"). And ever since I've been self-evaluating and thinking, what I've realised I think is true. My family and friends might disagree but I don't let them know the real me anyway. I think I'm a horrible, digusting human being. Everything I do is with an ulterior motive, I don't really "care" like other people do. I just want to have a bit of fun then die! I've never had a girlfriend for 3 reasons: I'm shallow, I don't like sharing, and the final isn't a selfish reason but I know they should go and find a man who wants to die at 80 or something. I'd rather die before I'm 40.

Welcome to the dark side my friend. This year has been one of trying to be authentic to who I am no matter all the chatter and things in my way.  I am going to be me... period.  But I don't think that makes you a disgusting human being. Just a human being.  

That is why there is the trope of the "nice guy" being something women don't want. Typically the nice guy isn't nice at all. He just plays that game because he wants to be liked and thinks that is an easy way to get it.  There is a difference between nice and kind.   But I am not nice. And I am not going to pretend I am anymore just to have friends that only tolerate me as long as they think I am "nice."

Being authentic to who you are is much better than living a lie. I would also prefer to be friends with an honest ******* than a 'nice' liar. 

The "nice guy" is often a farce, someone who just hides their true intentions with a mask. I personally can seem selfish to some, because I don't hide behind a mask and I say what I think and feel. At least I am in fact honest though, even when sometimes it might hurt someone a little because it's a little too blunt.
 
**** straight.

Can you say "feel like honeysuckle?"
Yeah, maybe sometimes I do feel like honeysuckle
I ain't happy about it, but I'd rather feel like honeysuckle than be full of honeysuckle!
And if I offended you
Oh, I'm sorry but maybe you needed to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing- fresia you!


Cyco Miko
 
If you are depressed or down, you can't see yourself clearly, so while you THINK you are being honest with yourself, you most likely aren't. You can't see yourself clearly through the darkness you are living through in your head.

So no, I don't think anyone is honest with themselves because they can't be. You see what you want to see based on your mood, your state of depression or whatever. That's not to say everything you feel or think about yourself is a lie, it's just that there has to be some kind of balance. Those who say they are the worst of the worst and those who say they are the best of the best are usually lying to themselves without even realizing it.
 
I spend a lot of time in my own head analyzing my behavior and what makes me tick. While I know I have blind spots (everyone does) I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on why I do what I do and I am pretty honest with myself about my intentions.

In general I like people. I like getting to know them and I like lifting others up and I am happy when others do well. I try to be as supportive as possible and believe in others. I get sad when bad things happen to other people. When bad things do happen i try my best to help out in some way. And for the most part I'm pretty genuine when it comes to caring about other people. I don't go around trying to be manipulative and trying to get things from people. 

However, one downside is that I can become a bit of a mirror. If I see someone treating another person or animal badly I'll be less likely to be kind to that person. In general the emotions and ways that people make me feel tend to be the way i end up making them feel. You could say I have the choice to feel differently but the majority of the time I think my feelings are mostly justified.

I don't go out of my way or do it on purpose but I do tend to be very direct when I feel treated some kind of way or something someone does is bothering me. The way some people react to direct confrontation like this tends to reveal their true colors and it's usually not pretty.

Most of the lying I do to myself is convincing myself that certain others are decent people. I can be very delusional/ naive in this way. I get a punch in the gut feeling every time it's revealed to not be the case.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
Osiris said:
What I mean is, a little while ago I posted a thread called (I'm Done Being "Nice"). And ever since I've been self-evaluating and thinking, what I've realised I think is true. My family and friends might disagree but I don't let them know the real me anyway. I think I'm a horrible, digusting human being. Everything I do is with an ulterior motive, I don't really "care" like other people do. I just want to have a bit of fun then die! I've never had a girlfriend for 3 reasons: I'm shallow, I don't like sharing, and the final isn't a selfish reason but I know they should go and find a man who wants to die at 80 or something. I'd rather die before I'm 40.

Welcome to the dark side my friend. This year has been one of trying to be authentic to who I am no matter all the chatter and things in my way.  I am going to be me... period.  But I don't think that makes you a disgusting human being. Just a human being.  

That is why there is the trope of the "nice guy" being something women don't want. Typically the nice guy isn't nice at all. He just plays that game because he wants to be liked and thinks that is an easy way to get it.  There is a difference between nice and kind.   But I am not nice. And I am not going to pretend I am anymore just to have friends that only tolerate me as long as they think I am "nice."

*Clapping* Exactly, why pretend? It's their problem not ours! They can go around being all Ace Ventura nice guys, saying how rude we are for not complimenting their new honeysuckle haircut. Authentic to me...is well. Is that you in your profile picture? I love blondes. Do you wanna do something sometime? Skype? lol I'm Joking....sort of ;). But honestly some people are killing themselves pretending to be who they're not and I just don't see the point. Being nice gets you a stable job, a decent life if your lucky but that's about it! So thanks for welcoming me to the dark side...That would make me Darth Vader and you my "Master" lol......sexy!
 

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