Opinion

EveWasFramed · Jul 4, 2017

Person A: The copay for the doctor's visit should be $25. I know (insert random name here) said it would only be $12, but this particular type of visit is $25.
Person B: Well maybe the amount has dropped.
Person A: Perhaps that's possible, but when I was there last month, it was $25.
Person B: Why do you always have to argue with me!??

Was there an argument there? Was it just two people discussing something?
If there was a fight, who started it? Thoughts?

Paraiyar · Jul 4, 2017

Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Sometimes · Jul 4, 2017

Paraiyar said:
Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Oh boy, you right about that! I would call it a discussion too, but I live in close proximity with someone who thinks just about anything said back to a statement they make is an argument.

EveWasFramed · Jul 4, 2017

Paraiyar said:
Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Lol...that was my thought as well. I immediately closed my mouth and didn't say another word. Person B however, ranted onward about how I think I know EVERYTHING. I decided right then, to never point out any mistake he makes or when he says something that inaccurate.

Later today, after the above issue, I turn on Waze to map me home. He thinks he can get us home just fine. He said turn right. I said, are you sure? He gave me a look that suggested I shouldn't be arguing about it. So, knowing full well he was sending me in the wrong direction, I went anyway. After ending up miles away from where we wanted to go, I asked him if he'd like me to use Waze - which he did.

On the way home, we passed some flowering trees. I said, are those dogwood blooms blowing across the street? Then I said, never mind, they're too small to be those. Then he said, those are probably very young dogwoods, recently planted. I shut my mouth at that point. Being I've purchased and planted MANY dogwood saplings, I know full well what a small one and a grow. One looks like.

But, since I apparently like to argue with people, just to be arguing, I kept it all to myself.

I think you're right. They just don't want to hear that they can be wrong, have bad info, etc.

TheRealCallie · Jul 4, 2017

Causing trouble with your confrontational mouth again, I see, Eve? :club:

Lol, but seriously no, that was merely a discussion.

But, you know men...kidding, guys, I'm just kidding. Although, the directions part is pretty stereotypical.

Back to seriousness, I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. On the one hand, doing it HIS way would save you some arguments, but doing it YOUR way and standing up to him would save you some time, especially when it's about directions.

blackdot · Jul 4, 2017

Out of context, it sounds like a discussion.
With context (with things like history of all other interactions the 2 people have had in the past) it could be an argument).

I used to frequent a message board that was based on a sports team.
There was a lot of off-topic discussions and I could post on different ones that I love whatever it was that they were talking about. I could then go on another topic and say i don't like whatever it was. Multiple people would immediately start complaining that I am always negative. I could then link to them all the posts I had made that week and this one was the only one that was negative. It didn't make a difference. Making one negative comment meant you were always negative.

VanillaCreme · Jul 4, 2017

I don't see an argument there myself, but having been in those types of conversations way too often, I just throw my hands up now. It's pointless to try to talk to someone when they just see everything as being fight words. When all you're trying to do is simply tell them something, and it turns into that, I'd rather just leave it alone.

EveWasFramed · Jul 4, 2017

I think you guys are right. Anything that might lead to the other party being wrong/inaccurate will be seen as "fighting" or "pushing buttons."
It really sucks to have to just bite your tongue all the time for no good reason, other than someone's fragile ego.
I'm sure the first time I keep my mouth shut and it has a negative effect on something, and it's found out that I knew better, I'll be told I should have spoken up. :club:

SolitudeAeturnus · Jul 4, 2017

You don't need my opinion.

Nicolelt · Jul 4, 2017

Depends on the "tone". It's not an argument, but if the person B feels attacked in anyways, they can feel that it is an argument.

EveWasFramed · Jul 4, 2017

Nicolelt said:
Depends on the "tone". It's not an argument, but if the person B feels attacked in anyways, they can feel that it is an argument.

I can see that view, but there was no tone that was offensive or provocative. Just a discussion about insurance. It really was pretty normal. Person B has low self esteem and I think they get upset if they're proven wrong about something, even if it's not something that's a big deal.
As an example, when making a will, it doesn't supersede an insurance policy. The insurance company will ONLY pay to whomever is listed as the beneficiary. It doesn't matter what a person's will says AT ALL. When I tried to explain that, I was asked why I always had to argue. Well, a will and an insurance policy, to make sure your kids are provided for if something's happens to you is pretty damned important in my opinion. I wasn't arguing - I was passing along legal knowledge. I thought I was helping. I don't understand their thinking at all

Nicolelt · Jul 4, 2017

EveWasFramed said:
Nicolelt said:

Depends on the "tone". It's not an argument, but if the person B feels attacked in anyways, they can feel that it is an argument.

Click to expand...

I can see that view, but there was no tone that was offensive or provocative. Just a discussion about insurance. It really was pretty normal. Person B has low self esteem and I think they get upset if they're proven wrong about something, even if it's not something that's a big deal.
As an example, when making a will, it doesn't supersede an insurance policy. The insurance company will ONLY pay to whomever is listed as the beneficiary. It doesn't matter what a person's will says AT ALL. When I tried to explain that, I was asked why I always had to argue. Well, a will and an insurance policy, to make sure your kids are provided for if something's happens to you is pretty damned important in my opinion. I wasn't arguing - I was passing along legal knowledge. I thought I was helping. I don't understand their thinking at all

My fiancee does this. Whenever I say something saying that his thinking is wrong or whatever, he says we're having an argument. It's not an argument, it's a discussion, but they don't see it that way. Really frustrating.

EveWasFramed · Jul 5, 2017

Nicolelt said:
EveWasFramed said:

Nicolelt said:

Depends on the "tone". It's not an argument, but if the person B feels attacked in anyways, they can feel that it is an argument.

Click to expand...

I can see that view, but there was no tone that was offensive or provocative. Just a discussion about insurance. It really was pretty normal. Person B has low self esteem and I think they get upset if they're proven wrong about something, even if it's not something that's a big deal.
As an example, when making a will, it doesn't supersede an insurance policy. The insurance company will ONLY pay to whomever is listed as the beneficiary. It doesn't matter what a person's will says AT ALL. When I tried to explain that, I was asked why I always had to argue. Well, a will and an insurance policy, to make sure your kids are provided for if something's happens to you is pretty damned important in my opinion. I wasn't arguing - I was passing along legal knowledge. I thought I was helping. I don't understand their thinking at all

Click to expand...

My fiancee does this. Whenever I say something saying that his thinking is wrong or whatever, he says we're having an argument. It's not an argument, it's a discussion, but they don't see it that way. Really frustrating.

Ugh. I'm sorry. I know it's very disheartening.

constant stranger · Jul 5, 2017

Low self esteem or fragile egos are key in dialogs like person A and person B were engaged in. The fragile ego sees a personal disparagement where none was intended and then makes an issue out of an otherwise trivial matter. I've seen it (and done it too I'm afraid) a million times. What to do? Depends on how much I care about the person....

ahmedcrow · Jul 5, 2017

EveWasFramed said:
Paraiyar said:

Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Click to expand...

Lol...that was my thought as well. I immediately closed my mouth and didn't say another word. Person B however, ranted onward about how I think I know EVERYTHING. I decided right then, to never point out any mistake he makes or when he says something that inaccurate.

Later today, after the above issue, I turn on Waze to map me home. He thinks he can get us home just fine. He said turn right. I said, are you sure? He gave me a look that suggested I shouldn't be arguing about it. So, knowing full well he was sending me in the wrong direction, I went anyway. After ending up miles away from where we wanted to go, I asked him if he'd like me to use Waze - which he did.

On the way home, we passed some flowering trees. I said, are those dogwood blooms blowing across the street? Then I said, never mind, they're too small to be those. Then he said, those are probably very young dogwoods, recently planted. I shut my mouth at that point. Being I've purchased and planted MANY dogwood saplings, I know full well what a small one and a grow. One looks like.

But, since I apparently like to argue with people, just to be arguing, I kept it all to myself.

I think you're right. They just don't want to hear that they can be wrong, have bad info, etc.

I think if you have good skills like that you note better than others and you think very good more than others do, you will have problem, why ?, you will have many arguments and people will not understand that you are right , and because arguments, they will not be happy when they found that they are wrong and you're right, it's not good if you want to make good and much social relations, I may remember an Arabic quote that means like "wise man is who's ignoring", so you need to ignore many situations, but if it's necessary to argue, do it, like if something happened and someone said we don't need to go to doctor and you think it's necessary to go to doctor.

this is my opinion

EveWasFramed · Jul 6, 2017

constant stranger said:
Low self esteem or fragile egos are key in dialogs like person A and person B were engaged in. The fragile ego sees a personal disparagement where none was intended and then makes an issue out of an otherwise trivial matter. I've seen it (and done it too I'm afraid) a million times. What to do? Depends on how much I care about the person....

I care about them a lot. But I struggle so much trying to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

ahmedcrow said:
EveWasFramed said:

Paraiyar said:

Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Click to expand...

Lol...that was my thought as well. I immediately closed my mouth and didn't say another word. Person B however, ranted onward about how I think I know EVERYTHING. I decided right then, to never point out any mistake he makes or when he says something that inaccurate.

Later today, after the above issue, I turn on Waze to map me home. He thinks he can get us home just fine. He said turn right. I said, are you sure? He gave me a look that suggested I shouldn't be arguing about it. So, knowing full well he was sending me in the wrong direction, I went anyway. After ending up miles away from where we wanted to go, I asked him if he'd like me to use Waze - which he did.

On the way home, we passed some flowering trees. I said, are those dogwood blooms blowing across the street? Then I said, never mind, they're too small to be those. Then he said, those are probably very young dogwoods, recently planted. I shut my mouth at that point. Being I've purchased and planted MANY dogwood saplings, I know full well what a small one and a grow. One looks like.

But, since I apparently like to argue with people, just to be arguing, I kept it all to myself.

I think you're right. They just don't want to hear that they can be wrong, have bad info, etc.

Click to expand...

I think if you have good skills like that you note better than others and you think very good more than others do, you will have problem, why ?, you will have many arguments and people will not understand that you are right , and because arguments, they will not be happy when they found that they are wrong and you're right, it's not good if you want to make good and much social relations, I may remember an Arabic quote that means like "wise man is who's ignoring", so you need to ignore many situations, but if it's necessary to argue, do it, like if something happened and someone said we don't need to go to doctor and you think it's necessary to go to doctor.

this is my opinion

So, if I'm understanding correctly, you're saying that if I'm often right about things, but shouldn't correct anyone unless it's really important?

ahmedcrow · Jul 6, 2017

[quote pid='845476' dateline='1499320255']

ahmedcrow said:
EveWasFramed said:

Paraiyar said:

Discussion in my opinion. But some people consider something an argument the moment the other person says something they don't want to hear.

Click to expand...

Lol...that was my thought as well. I immediately closed my mouth and didn't say another word. Person B however, ranted onward about how I think I know EVERYTHING. I decided right then, to never point out any mistake he makes or when he says something that inaccurate.

Later today, after the above issue, I turn on Waze to map me home. He thinks he can get us home just fine. He said turn right. I said, are you sure? He gave me a look that suggested I shouldn't be arguing about it. So, knowing full well he was sending me in the wrong direction, I went anyway. After ending up miles away from where we wanted to go, I asked him if he'd like me to use Waze - which he did.

On the way home, we passed some flowering trees. I said, are those dogwood blooms blowing across the street? Then I said, never mind, they're too small to be those. Then he said, those are probably very young dogwoods, recently planted. I shut my mouth at that point. Being I've purchased and planted MANY dogwood saplings, I know full well what a small one and a grow. One looks like.

But, since I apparently like to argue with people, just to be arguing, I kept it all to myself.

I think you're right. They just don't want to hear that they can be wrong, have bad info, etc.

Click to expand...

I think if you have good skills like that you note better than others and you think very good more than others do, you will have problem, why ?, you will have many arguments and people will not understand that you are right , and because arguments, they will not be happy when they found that they are wrong and you're right, it's not good if you want to make good and much social relations, I may remember an Arabic quote that means like "wise man is who's ignoring", so you need to ignore many situations, but if it's necessary to argue, do it, like if something happened and someone said we don't need to go to doctor and you think it's necessary to go to doctor.

this is my opinion

So, if I'm understanding correctly, you're saying that if I'm often right about things, but shouldn't correct anyone unless it's really important?

[/quote]

Yes, it's a suggestion, I'm not sure it's 100% correct

, I don't mean that you always have to stop correct others, but you can many times ignore their faults.

EveWasFramed · Jul 8, 2017

Lol oh boy! I ignore a LOT of stuff and bite my tongue pretty often. I take a small amount of joy in knowing that, at some point, some of the stupid crap people think and later speak, will come back to bite then in the ass.

Guess they need to be careful of what they wish for.

Minus · Jul 8, 2017

It was a young dogwood.

EveWasFramed · Jul 8, 2017

Minus said:
It was a young dogwood.

LMAO. :club:

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