Forgiveness

Why we forgave someone ?

Because we aren't perfect and everyone makes mistakes. o.o

So you can stop focusing so much on what someone else did and move on with your life.

What good does it do you to NOT forgive them?

pinocio said:

Why we forgave  someone ?

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Yes, to forgive is divine but whether you wish to forgive someone or not is entirely your choice. You don't have to forgive, there is no obligation or something,

It depends on what we're forgiving. There are people in my past whom I will never forgive...yet I've moved on. I "erase" people if I've been either betrayed or they're on the hate list. Hate is a very strong word, and there are three people in my past who are on it. I feel I'd almost be betraying myself by forgiving them. If I meet them in public, I look through them, I treat them as if they're strangers.

I find that I had to forgive myself, and forgive the people who have hurt me before in order for me to be at peace enough to move on. I feel like when you forgive someone, you can let it go and live again.

You forgive people because in some way you still need them

SolitudeAeturnus said:

"You say I need more compassion- I can forgive, I just can't forget"

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Forgiveness is more for the self than the other person.  I agree that it's about letting go of the resentment, pain and anger you have over the injustice(s) done to you by another person.

Whether you re-enter the other person's life is up to them.  You don't necessarily have to re-entertain it; but if you dwell on being victimized rather than letting go of that and moving on, you will be 'stuck'.

We all have been victimized at some point by someone(s) in our lives so forgiveness is something we all have to learn and practice.

Why it is hard to forget when you already forgive someone?

^^ Because you won't let yourself. Why is it so important to hold on to what happened?

But on the other hand, you don't have to forget what happened to accept what happened and move on. I still haven't forgotten several things that have happened to me, but I accepted that they did happen, I learned what I could from them and I moved on from them. They don't hurt me anymore.

pinocio said:

Why it is hard to forget when you already forgive someone?

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It has become part of your memories. When it's an experience that has such great impact on you or your life, you're bound to be thinking about it every now and then.... depending on the extent of the impact, I feel. I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's how it is for me.

12 years since my dad passed away, and I still think of him at least once every day. Even though I was mad at him for awhile after he was gone for reasons I won't talk about now, I did forgive him but he was such a large part of my life and I miss him from time to time. Same goes for all other horrible/wonderful moments I've had that made an impact to me/my life. I think when something means a lot to you, it'll be harder to forget.

My thoughts are jumbled up, I hope I was comprehensible.

TheRealCallie said:

^^ Because you won't let yourself. Why is it so important to hold on to what happened?

But on the other hand, you don't have to forget what happened to accept what happened and move on. I still haven't forgotten several things that have happened to me, but I accepted that they did happen, I learned what I could from them and I moved on from them. They don't hurt me anymore.

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Yeah you are right ,I must move on ,what happed is happend and I can't change anything about that so why I am still worrying about that .I must accept what is happend so I can live my life with inner peace.
Thank you Callie

I can't say much good about this myself, because this is one of my main flaws. Don't really forgive much.
See, I expect much of myself and because of that, it's easy for other people to disappoint me. It's happened too often that someone does something that affects me in some way and I expect them to know better from the getgo. As such, well...don't really ever forgive or forget. Of course, there are exceptions to that, but as I grow older I realize their fewer and far between.

Of course, there are some things you don't forget. While a lot of people might not agree, there's somethings just too big to forgive.
So, in answer to the question, why do we forgive? I guess it's to make ourselves feel better at being betrayed in some way and because, despite the fact that said person caused the betrayal has proven him or herself to be untrustworthy, we still want to be friends with them. I imagine it would feel better for other people. Personally? I'd rather never speak to or hear from said person again for as long as I live. Depending on the severity of the act, I'd also like to inflict physical harm. Not something to go by, but like I said, it's a character flaw of mine. And it suits me just fine, is the funny thing, you'd think it would have spun me about or made me a bit wacko or something (well I am, but that didn't play a part ;-) )