Feeling Like I Can't Talk to Anyone

Just feelin' the blues. I have a lot on my plate, but I can't talk to people about it, because I get accused of complaining too much and I need to just "grow up" "man up" "deal with it." I connect really really well with the girls in my life as a friend, but I have really low self-esteem when it comes to pursuing/dating a girl. My mom tells me it's because I need to work on becoming more established and attractive and "marketable" for a lack of a better word. I've kinda let my act go in the last couple of years. However, I don't really think it's connected. I tried really hard to keep it all together in high school - good grades, work, all that. I was in decent shape, and I guess I'm attractive in an average kind of way. And girls were a problem as far back as junior high. Either it was, "you missed your opportunity" or "I'm not interested." Even have gotten a few, "I love you and all, but I'd never date you."

I'm not good at connecting with other guys. Never been good at the stereotypical guy things. More artsy - theater, music, etc. I have kind of an odd personality. I'm loud (I try not to be) and I talk a lot. I'm forgetful or sometimes I just process things in weird ways - to the point of people sometimes questioning what's going on upstairs. I try and be funny and say really ignorant stuff. Sometimes come off as kind of feminine I think since I spend more time with girls. I really want/need a good solid, healthy relationship with a few guy friends in my life, and I feel like none of them truly like me and I feel like I'm burdening them with my friendship. I don't want to be tolerated or a project.

I feel like I've pushed a lot of people away. Recently I took a sabbatical year from college, and the few closer friends I had basically stopped talking to me. I just feel lonely. Not looking to find my validation in someone or get pumped up. Just to feel like I have people who truly care about me, and aren't just tolerating me. That like me for me. I'm trying to not complain a whole lot, but I need someone who can hear about all that's going on in my life and not tune me out. Someone who can support me and who I can be there for too! I miss that so much, and I haven't really felt that in a few years.

I don't know what to do.

The whole "get over it" attitude is not anything I support. It ain't going to fix much else than you compromising your well-being.
If they loved you, but wouldn't date you, that is sadly outside of my understanding. I've never really understood too much of the hidden social things, maybe someone else could explain that.
I get the feeling of care vs tolerate. You, the way you are (unless hurting someone else and a number of other obvious disclaimers) should be able to feel happy and accepted when being yourself. Sadly, it's sometimes uncommon in this world.
In case you just feel like talking to people, there's always the chat room.
Stay safe ^_^

Get tinder/bumble. You are wasting your time trying to seriously date college girls. Just stay positive, have a good attitude, and play the numbers game until you find what you are looking for.

20s are for making monies and experimenting and learning. Dont waste too much time on women.

Find some hobbies. Join a crossfit gym or some otber more bro atmosphere. Frat? BJJ? I dunno... pick one. Youll make guy friends through doing things with guys. Not so much by chatting and talking.

You still gotta be yourself. If you really hate e.g. going to the gym, don't. Try something else. Maybe sign up for a painting course? I dno
I won't judge if someone decides to be less for a stable relationship, but sometimes that can add another kind of "security" to ones life, and it ain't only to discard. The main thing here is "if you want to". If you want to go to a gym to maybe be "broey", then go ahead. If you want to have a... less long relationship, then go ahead, but be careful of some things such as children, hurt feelings etc. If you want to try for a longer relationship, then good luck and go ahead.
Another thing is to be well enough, mentally stable or whatever to call it, to not be too taxing on other people.
None of this has a guaranteed success rate, sadly.

Warrior452, you got some good responses here, especially the one about doing guy stuff to bond with guys.

Be yourself, don't compromise your personality to fit in, be persistent and you'll find your group. You still have lots of time ahead of you. Just don't give up. And yes, people don't like complainers. That's why we are here for you. You can come and complain here and then go out and be positive.

Didn't mean to make it about myself, but I couldn't help to notice how much I can relate to your problems. Just the other way around.

I thought for a few days and realized that I have no single female friend where I live, that I could call or hang out together. Girls just don't like me, they don't invite me anywhere, some only like to call me over the phone and complain or share stories or ask for an advice when they are in a pickle. But when it's party time or shopping or anything else fun, I am Never invited.

My mom thinks it's because I am too pretty and no one wants to have a competition around. I believe that. But then how do other pretty girls have girlfriends?

All of my friends are guys. It's hard to keep that friendship, since from time to time they try to get in my pants. Plus I can't combine them by making events together. Actually, I will try that tomorrow. I am doing a BBQ and will see how it goes with all my friends, who can come, together (all men).

So far, gym is my sanctuary for all the troubled time. This is the place, where I feel I can hide from my loneliness and feel positive.

Just keep soldiering on dude.

Don't ever change yourself for other people, don't change yourself to make more friends, don't change yourself to date another girl.
Only ever change yourself if YOU want to do it, if YOU feel it is what is best for YOURSELF and no one else.

If people don't wanna hang out with you, if people feel like you're not cool enough to be a part of their groups; it's their loss, not yours.
There's a quote by Dr. Seuss that I always go back to time and time again whenever I feel down on myself, like there's something wrong with me and not with everyone else.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

I think that's pretty important for you right now.
It sounds like you're pretty lost within yourself and I think it's important to remember that as long as you're honest and happy with yourself, you'll attract people who are happy with you too. Being a manly man, or a "normal" person or whatever other perceptions you have of what you believe could attract other people aren't important here.

In regards to your friends... If they didn't like you, you wouldn't be friends with them at all. If you were burdening them, you would know. Anyone who has been your friend in the past has liked you for you, they haven't just tolerated you as a person because otherwise you would be an acquaintance, not a friend.

Don't be down on yourself, don't believe that you're anything less than an amazing person. Being loud, talking a lot and being an odd ball is one of my trademarks and if people don't like it I always tell them to go somewhere else, because I refuse to change for anyone except myself and I still don't have a super huge group of friends but I have the only friends that matter.
Also remember that people on this site can constitute friends too, people anywhere in the world can. I've made friends online from when I was a kid that I still talk to, to this day and I still tell them about anything and everything.

Case in point, this thread. You have support from everyone who has posted here, maybe you can't call them super close friends or anything like that just yet, but if random strangers on the internet can support you, anyone can.