Friends are hard to find.

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Azariah

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Real.

In your work.

On the internet.

Just anywhere.

At my work everyone is obsessed about who's dating who or who's screwing who or who likes who. They are good to be with sometimes, they're fun company, cheerful. But I don't really know what their motives are. I hear them gossiping behind other people's back, they could very well be gossiping about me too. 

On the internet, no offense but we're all complete strangers. It's like trying to make friends in a masquarade. Anyone could be phishing anyone. So there's not much trust compared to actually being there in front of the other person.

I don't know where else to go to make friends. At church people are too shy to invite you to go out and do something fun and when I try to do that they always seem busy.

I've never been clubbing but I'm guessing everyone just wants to get laid there.


dang. 

not really a useful topic, just a rant.

yea its hard to find friends.
 
Idol Minos said:
On the internet, no offense but we're all complete strangers. It's like trying to make friends in a masquarade. Anyone could be phishing anyone. So there's not much trust compared to actually being there in front of the other person.

The internet is a good starting point, sometimes. The anonymity allows for honesty and openness sometimes. After all, masks can be worn face to face as well. 

Of course it's not a substitute for rl friendships. And yes - those are not easy to find.
 
Idol Minos said:
On the internet, no offense but we're all complete strangers. It's like trying to make friends in a masquarade. Anyone could be phishing anyone. So there's not much trust compared to actually being there in front of the other person.

I've met some of my greatest friends online.  It's not easy, no, but if you put in the time to get to know people, you find some good ones.  Same out in the real world.  You just have to keep looking until you find someone worthwhile.
 
I think that's how it is with age. I've been told to "just go out there", and even between work, volunteer work, and a class, I did not make new friends.

People who are used to making friends and in a good environment for doing so tend to underestimate how fickle it really is. People need to be exposed to each other regularly and have some common ground, and lifestyles and schedules that fit together...

I've made good friends over games I play regularly, but finding people in the same stage of life, with similar values and activities, is not so easy. Many people at my age are busy parents and focused on careers with little time to bond with new people purely for friendship.
 
You're close with the clubbing thing, everyone just wants to get drunk and laid lol.

God I know what you're talking about, I moved a month ago and no matter how hard I try. No matter where I go, I can't make a single friend. Acquaintances...yes. Not real friends you'd care about if they're having a bad day. I'm going to try joining a football(soccer) team next to try and meet people and do some excersise.

All you can do is join clubs and increase your activity! Bars work if you find a nice quiet one you can talk in, but it's hit and miss. Find a bar you like and become a regular then sit at the bar and talk to the staff. That way people basically have to acknowledge you if they're ordering a drink.

But hey! I don't know what you like! Try and find a sports club you like and it will be a lot easier to make friends as you all have the same passion! Not even a sports club, any!

Anyway..Good luck!
 
Alright guys thanks for reading and responding to my little rant. 'preciate it.
 
Idol Minos said:
Real.

In your work.

On the internet.

Just anywhere.

At my work everyone is obsessed about who's dating who or who's screwing who or who likes who. They are good to be with sometimes, they're fun company, cheerful. But I don't really know what their motives are. I hear them gossiping behind other people's back, they could very well be gossiping about me too. 

On the internet, no offense but we're all complete strangers. It's like trying to make friends in a masquarade. Anyone could be phishing anyone. So there's not much trust compared to actually being there in front of the other person.

I don't know where else to go to make friends. At church people are too shy to invite you to go out and do something fun and when I try to do that they always seem busy.

I've never been clubbing but I'm guessing everyone just wants to get laid there.


dang. 

not really a useful topic, just a rant.

yea its hard to find friends.

Trust me, you'e better off without friends. They just turn their back on you. People are ********.
 
Idol Minos said:
Real.

In your work.

On the internet.

Just anywhere.

At my work everyone is obsessed about who's dating who or who's screwing who or who likes who. They are good to be with sometimes, they're fun company, cheerful. But I don't really know what their motives are. I hear them gossiping behind other people's back, they could very well be gossiping about me too. 

On the internet, no offense but we're all complete strangers. It's like trying to make friends in a masquarade. Anyone could be phishing anyone. So there's not much trust compared to actually being there in front of the other person.

I don't know where else to go to make friends. At church people are too shy to invite you to go out and do something fun and when I try to do that they always seem busy.

I've never been clubbing but I'm guessing everyone just wants to get laid there.

Lol.

Pretty good description. I once worked in a place, where everyone was gossiping. I stayed away from this, because that's exhausting for me and the people have pretty negative energy. I can't imagine them being friends, ever.

I have several very good friends though, who have stayed with me... like for a decade or more. I think they key is that they are people with who you 1) have similar hobbies/interests, 2) most crucially similar view of the world/life philosophy. So you can basically discuss about the world, life, everything without any problem at all. Yeah, that's cool. You can share every thought without needing to hold yourself back or wear a mask, and it doesn't create any conflict whatsoever, because deep down you understand the issue.

But these are the kind of people, who naturally have more depth in them (I mean are smarter than average). I don't think there is a rule, where you could find them. Internet can be useful, because it could unite people with similar interests (like a forum dedicated to some topic). And also a couple of people have remained from the time I was in high school/university, but that's a decade or more ago now.
 
Meeting friends is easy but having a good friendship that lasts with honest ppl that love you is hard in this world. I would just say hang on there, don't give up, maybe someday you will find real friends.
 
VanillaCreme said:
Good friends are even harder to keep.

I was about to post the same thing. Finding friends is the 'easy' bit, but nurturing those friendships, so that they last... that's the difficult part.
 
Cavey said:
VanillaCreme said:
Good friends are even harder to keep.

I was about to post the same thing. Finding friends is the 'easy' bit, but nurturing those friendships, so that they last... that's the difficult part.

I am not sure I would call it "finding friends", more like "finding people with who to communicate".

Why friendships don't last is because, well, I guess, due to society and the way people's lives are. Everyone is so busy and there are only so many things you can concentrate on. So it probably happens naturally that if you are not among 5-10 things in the center of other people's lives, you kind of fall to the wayside sooner or later.

Because any person meets way more than 5-10 people, sometimes even during one day, lol. Can't keep all of them in the center of attention.

Also... People are excited to see new people from time-to-time. But they lose interest soon, because they realize you do not have much to offer in their lives, and they carry on with their everyday activities and also the cycle of meeting new people and learning new things carries on too.
 
Know the feeling. The world these days can't go 2 minutes without thinking about sex. The internet, real life, you name it, people have become mindless drones. 

I feel incredibly alone right now. The saddest part is, I always will. It's become too much to ask for people to 1) stop thinking about themselves, 2) stop thinking about sex and 3) think outside their bubble just for 10 minutes of their life to comfort another human being in a non judgmental manner.
 
Bubblebeam said:
Know the feeling. The world these days can't go 2 minutes without thinking about sex. The internet, real life, you name it, people have become mindless drones. 

I feel incredibly alone right now. The saddest part is, I always will. It's become too much to ask for people to 1) stop thinking about themselves, 2) stop thinking about sex and 3) think outside their bubble just for 10 minutes of their life to comfort another human being in a non judgmental manner.

I know.
Sometimes, I'd like a girl to cuddle.
Not sex. Not to play rub a dub or something. Just cuddle. Just someone to hold to that helps me think everything is going to be alright. A presence. Someone to hold on to, for no reason whatsoever than just holding on.
Seems like it used to be commonplace. Feels like the world left it behind in it's rush to automatise everything. Including people.
 
Meeting friends on the internet can work in the right places and right communities. Usually around a hobby or common interest is easiest. There some dodgy people too ofc.
I don't really have that many real friends irl mostly just people I talk to at extracurricular stuff or studies. But they are ok just not that close or whatever I suppose I just don't have that reason to or if i do I'm just too scared to ask yipes
 
i tried different avenues for finding friends since.

i guess different places work for different people.

i went clubbing and didnt like it. too much alcohol, loud music, people i dont know.

i tried playing chess at the mall. much less people but its more personal.
 
I have to admit- as a comparatively young kid not even out of high school who has issues making friends despite being surrounded by similarly-aged people every day, it's pretty worrisome seeing adults talk about having issues making friends.

does it really get that much worse?
 

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