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SilentLife

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Hello to everyone!

I am a 31-year-old man. I haven't been in a relationship (with a female) throughout my life. Thus lonely and single, and feel like a natural part of this forum.

More specifically. I am very very highly sensitive. And I feel this fact has effectively killed my life. There is not much I can do about it. I can't have many activities and be 'busy', things tire me easily, and also I get easily tired/frustrated of people and all the darkness in this world. So it can be said I am kind of a "no-lifer". But not on in the sense of living on the Internet, as in free time I like to walk in forest/nature a lot. Why? Because nature is away from the human society, civilization, and thus is more "pure". :)

In social interactions my sensitiveness can make me look like a retard. And has made me very unattractive. I don't fear to say things out loud though, when I feel the need. Also whenever I have feelings or fall in love, I tell that woman so. But they have none of it. Some have even been shocked that someone like me has dared to be 'interested' in her.

I have some what I would call really good friends though. But we don't meet particularly often, with many of them maybe once or twice a year. Everybody is "busy" you know, well, except me lol. I can't live a "busy" life, it would kill me, and I am not aspiring either as I can't see the point.

The biggest achievement of my life I consider that I have a stable job and basically can manage my life on my own without needing to rely on someone. So freedom in this sense.

OK, that's it for the short introduction.
 
Welcome to the forum, dude!
I can relate somewhat. While your situation isn't rosey, I also prefer nature to Man. Man to me is a very shallow and dumb creature and I by far prefer the quietness and logic of the wild, to the complex idiocities of modern day civilisation. I tend to isolate too. So I know where you're coming from.
Key to being happy in life starts with being happy with yourself, though. You already have a good situation, there are many people who can't keep a stable job and manage life on their own, so that's already a + in your favor. Give it time, eventually someone will appreciate you for who you are, as long as you try to be as happy as you can be.
Have a little faith in yourself, my friend, and welcome :)
 
Welcome

It sounds like to need to meet new people.
Join charity events learn new skills or crafts, that way you will meet people, or perhaps church if you are into that, hobby club,


goodluck to you
 
Don't let society make you think your way of life is wrong or somehow 'incorrect'. Especially when I were single, but even now, it would make my day to meet someone who isn't interested in the rat race of artificial friend circles, career goals and being perpetually busy just because it's all the status quo. There are others out there like you and I, but due to our very nature it can be hard to locate one another. That shouldn't mean you should change.

I live in an outer suburb of a busy city, and whenever we have to go out to heart of that city, I come home feeling overwhelmed and out of my depth. I have no idea how people can work 9-5 all week and still want to go out at the weekend. I need to friggin recover both physically and mentally even after one day of being busy let alone a working week. So yeah, you aren't alone and there's nothing with how you choose (or need) to live.
 
Thanks for the greetings and feedback. :)

To comments on some of the thoughts on here.

Richard_39 said:
Welcome to the forum, dude!
I can relate somewhat. While your situation isn't rosey, I also prefer nature to Man. Man to me is a very shallow and dumb creature and I by far prefer the quietness and logic of the wild, to the complex idiocities of modern day civilisation. I tend to isolate too. So I know where you're coming from.

Pretty well said.

What I would perhaps mention is that the thing with nature is that it is very "genuine". That's why it is always refreshing. The problem with many people is that they are often not sincere. Also many people have egos. When I am together with them I can feel they energetically dominate or try to dominate me. It is very draining. But there is nothing you can do, the world is what it is. So it is easier to isolate and re-charge batteries like that.

Bubblebeam said:
Don't let society make you think your way of life is wrong or somehow 'incorrect'. Especially when I were single, but even now, it would make my day to meet someone who isn't interested in the rat race of artificial friend circles, career goals and being perpetually busy just because it's all the status quo. There are others out there like you and I, but due to our very nature it can be hard to locate one another. That shouldn't mean you should change.

I live in an outer suburb of a busy city, and whenever we have to go out to heart of that city, I come home feeling overwhelmed and out of my depth. I have no idea how people can work 9-5 all week and still want to go out at the weekend. I need to friggin recover both physically and mentally even after one day of being busy let alone a working week. So yeah, you aren't alone and there's nothing with how you choose (or need) to live.

Yeah. I am also the one, who works 40 hours per week. And frankly besides that need to eat, sleep, do some other necessary stuff. And just take a rest and do nothing. And well personally I need to go out to nature at least once a week to keep my sanity intact. :) So from my POV there is not much energy left to live a "busy" life.

If for example for once a week I meet with some friend. And once a week I go to some kind of an event, that's pretty much enough socializing for me. If I go to too many events and meetings, then energetically I would be over the limit and would need to recover more. 'Wasting energy' is like taking a loan. You need to pay it back soon anyway.
 
SilentLife said:
Hello to everyone!

I am a 31-year-old man. I haven't been in a relationship (with a female) throughout my life. Thus lonely and single, and feel like a natural part of this forum.

More specifically. I am very very highly sensitive. And I feel this fact has effectively killed my life. There is not much I can do about it. I can't have many activities and be 'busy', things tire me easily, and also I get easily tired/frustrated of people and all the darkness in this world. So it can be said I am kind of a "no-lifer". But not on in the sense of living on the Internet, as in free time I like to walk in forest/nature a lot. Why? Because nature is away from the human society, civilization, and thus is more "pure". :)

In social interactions my sensitiveness can make me look like a retard. And has made me very unattractive. I don't fear to say things out loud though, when I feel the need. Also whenever I have feelings or fall in love, I tell that woman so. But they have none of it. Some have even been shocked that someone like me has dared to be 'interested' in her.

I have some what I would call really good friends though. But we don't meet particularly often, with many of them maybe once or twice a year. Everybody is "busy" you know, well, except me lol. I can't live a "busy" life, it would kill me, and I am not aspiring either as I can't see the point.

The biggest achievement of my life I consider that I have a stable job and basically can manage my life on my own without needing to rely on someone. So freedom in this sense.

OK, that's it for the short introduction.

Welcome to A.L.L bud!!

First things first, it doesn't matter what issue you have so far, life can change at anytime. 
Just because you feel that you are "Doomed to be alone" doesn't mean you will be-

Unless you truly believe that you are going to be!

My point? You just found yourself a new and awesome environment to help you make a change in your life! 
Isn't that why you joined this forum in the first place? To seek help of sort?

We are all here to help so don't you worry. We can make things better together ;-)

If you ever wanna talk, just start a thread to share a worry or perhaps even pm me/any one whom you feel comfortable in talking to and we will all be happy to help.

That's why this forum exist! A social support system! 

Ultimately, hope you have a good time here, eh? If you got questions, do feel free to ask :D
 
HappyBread said:
Isn't that why you joined this forum in the first place? To seek help of sort?

We are all here to help so don't you worry. We can make things better together ;-)

If you ever wanna talk, just start a thread to share a worry or perhaps even pm me/any one whom you feel comfortable in talking to and we will all be happy to help.

That's why this forum exist! A social support system! 

Ultimately, hope you have a good time here, eh? If you got questions, do feel free to ask

Thanks :)

Well yeah. I joined the forum to bring something new into my life. I am unsure what kind of help to ask though, I am not banking much on that. I think sharing with people, who have perhaps had somewhat similar experiences, is already helpful enough.

However, I feel I could have lots and lots to talk, already posting a lot. Hopefully doesn't look like spamming.  :p
 
SilentLife said:
Thanks :)

Well yeah. I joined the forum to bring something new into my life. I am unsure what kind of help to ask though, I am not banking much on that. I think sharing with people, who have perhaps had somewhat similar experiences, is already helpful enough.

However, I feel I could have lots and lots to talk, already posting a lot. Hopefully doesn't look like spamming.  :p

Aye and indeed it is! You'll be making a difference in people's lives here. Glad to have met you :)

Your post already exceeded mine and you just joined too! XD
Hey, who knows, maybe it's your calling in life to be here doing this, eh? ;-)
 
Hello and welcome to ALL!

Sounds like you're not doing so bad, having a job and financially security is something very good, you seem to be true to yourself, that you haven't found many people that except and/or respect that is not on you.
 
SilentLife said:
Hello to everyone!

I am a 31-year-old man. I haven't been in a relationship (with a female) throughout my life. Thus lonely and single, and feel like a natural part of this forum.

More specifically. I am very very highly sensitive. And I feel this fact has effectively killed my life. There is not much I can do about it. I can't have many activities and be 'busy', things tire me easily, and also I get easily tired/frustrated of people and all the darkness in this world. So it can be said I am kind of a "no-lifer". But not on in the sense of living on the Internet, as in free time I like to walk in forest/nature a lot. Why? Because nature is away from the human society, civilization, and thus is more "pure". :)

In social interactions my sensitiveness can make me look like a retard. And has made me very unattractive. I don't fear to say things out loud though, when I feel the need. Also whenever I have feelings or fall in love, I tell that woman so. But they have none of it. Some have even been shocked that someone like me has dared to be 'interested' in her.

I have some what I would call really good friends though. But we don't meet particularly often, with many of them maybe once or twice a year. Everybody is "busy" you know, well, except me lol. I can't live a "busy" life, it would kill me, and I am not aspiring either as I can't see the point.

The biggest achievement of my life I consider that I have a stable job and basically can manage my life on my own without needing to rely on someone. So freedom in this sense.

OK, that's it for the short introduction.

Hey.  Our stories seem pretty similar.  I'm the same age as you, and I haven't been in a relationship with a girl either.  I too have been lonely and single all my life, feeling like there's something wrong with me but not exactly knowing what it is.  Man, I hate it.

Like you, I'm also highly sensitive.  I don't go out much either, except to visit friends.  Part of it is because I don't have money but part of it is because even if I did, I wouldn't know where to go or what to do.  I'm not totally opposed to going out, but I'm kind of a homebody.  A lot of the things I like to do are things I could do at home by myself.  And I'm not into being coarse or "bad".  I'm into being warm and friendly.  But, like you, that's cost me socially too.  I've never known how to smooth-talk women.  I hope I don't have to because I don't know how and I think it's corny, I'd like to just be me but that hasn't worked.  I have nothing to be cocky about, and I hate cockiness anyway.  

Well, that's about it.  See you around.  Hopefully we'll learn what to do eventually because this life of singledom, I really don't think it's supposed to be like this.  I hope we can find a way out.
 

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