Check this out...don't bother with selfish people who don't have time for you!

As you may have read from my previous thread, I'm learning to set healthy boundaries in allowing how others treat me. As a people-pleaser that has based my feelings of self-worth on how much others like me - I've come to realize that it has severely damaged my self-esteem and mental health and I'm left alone picking up the pieces.

I've started looking into self-help books, YouTube videos and (obviously) the forums here on adjusting my mentality of constantly seeking approval and validation from people. People who don't give a honeysuckle about me which is pretty much almost everyone.

I've love to hear any advice that any of you all have or any comments. We all found this forum for a reason! I have some books on hold at the library and I'll share them once I get to reading them.


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I really like this YouTuber Marie Dubuque's videos. I wish I could meet her! I feel like I hit the jackpot when I found her videos.

I'm sick of being a doormat for selfish egomaniacs! My time is valuable too. I want to be around people who care about me, respect me and value my time.

Here are some of Marie's videos that relate to me the most...she talks a lot about other people-related problems (friends, dating, colleagues etc.) so if none of these apply to you, her other videos might. Just thought I'd share in case anyone else here could benefit:

[size=large]Friends who don't return texts then all of a sudden contact you[/size]


[size=large]What to do when someone doesn't respond to your text[/size]


How to handle friends who flake out on you;are always late, don't show up


Should you stay friends with someone who never initiates contact?


How do you know when someone doesn't like you as much as you like them?


What to do about someone who is mean to you but nice to others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hProNWtIW7U

I've learnt that life is too short to be around people who doesn't value my time and who doesn't care about me. I only invest my efforts in those who invest in me. :]

I realize I don't have any real friends then.

Well, if I could give you some advice, and really, this is a take it or leave it because I don't like it but you can thing, dump the youtube videos and join like, something like a help-group or something.

I have a lot of reservations about youtube giving advice, or social media giving advice, in the same manner as I have a problem with television doing the same. For example, of course, you can watch a very interesting documentary on geese on youtube, but in the end, you don't know what their sources are, what the people behind it had planned for it or even if it's accurate. At the end of the day, it's more entertainement than anything else and it was designed as such. That doesn't, of course, mean there's no worthwhile help to be found on it, but I'm a little biased. I wouldn't want to be unable to discern what's good from what's not and for that, you really need someone who knows what they are talking about, which makes me think group or specialists. Self-help books are different, because they I believe need to be pre-approved before release and are usually loaded with their source materials. I don't know who this youtuber is, she might be super qualified, but if she isn't, especially in issues I have an important stake in, I wouldn't take the chance.

But that's the only thing I'm unsure of. If not, keep going man, you're doing well