Lonliness and abandonment

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You can be a good friend to someone, you can be kind to people and they in return can offer a gift of companionship, a warmth, however, just like the sun, that warmth disapates, leaving you in the cold to endure the isolating effects of abandonment. Even the one's closest to you, the ones who you believed would value you enough to have the courtesy to hand you a proper goodbye so you can have a peace of mind, won't...And it becomes something you keep telling yourself won't happen the next time. But eventually you come to a realisation that they'll all abandon you in the end. They all perhaps get bored or find a better companion inevitably.However my will to have a companion still lingers in my fading dreams to remind me of the meaning of happiness. The meaning of true connection. Yes i admit, you can find happiness from within, but the disfigured truth presents itself to me, we are social animals. The very thing that i am I do not wish to be. If i could remove this desire, this longing to be closer to another who would fulfil my needs for long lasting companionship then yes, i would. I would be willing to give anything for such a thing. To remove that human side to remain nothing more than a preoccupied organism. I am getting ahead of myself, forgive me. I know not what the future entails for those who remain in the cold for too long. I have never had the luxury of retreating into the warmth of another. So it plagues me this question... Lonliness is no longer just an emotional response, it can become a physical pain, and i try to ignore it, but that's difficult since no matter where you go, it's always there. What i am confused about is why some can be so cold, it is as if their human side to which once aired warmth was merely a mask. I suppose we all wear masks in some way or another? some of us, don't even realise it. just don't understand anything anymore.The love to which I have to offer is abundant yet unused. why is it there? what is its purpose if no one wants it? I don't know anymore... :'( I have no one...
 
I understand you, i feel the same as yo do, some good people here suggested to find smthg that I'm really passionate about, something that I follow that keep my mind and spirit busy.Maybe you should give it a try. If you wanna talk just message me, I'll be there .
 
I relate so much to this. I can never keep friends for long, and I haven't dated in years. I think even when I do feel a connection with someone, they can sense my neediness, and it drives them away. I have no one to give my love to, and I wish I could just numb myself to this constant longing for companionship.  It's so difficult going through life totally alone, with no meaningful connections, no one to talk to, no one to care for, no one to care for you, and nothing to look forward to. I don't know how to fully accept the fact that I am simply meant to be alone. I have been living like this for so long, that I can't believe I haven't learned how to numb myself to the emotional pain. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to be totally apathetic like so many people I have dealt with in my life.
 
I can relate to this so much. I constantly daydream of being in a relationship with someone. I miss it so much, holding hands, kissing, going on dates, and not sleeping alone. I wish life wasn't like this, but it is. Maybe it's for the best, I doubt it though. The thing is, I've been like this for most of my life. I'm thirty-four years old and I don't know how I lasted this long. Time and years go by fast. I wish my ex-girlfriend and I would get back together because I miss her so much. I think about her all the time, but she's moved on. I love her so much. I have no one.
 
[font=Helvetica, sans-serif]I just have to say that many of your comments are very accurate. We are made to be social beings. I believe that God created us that way. It’s not easy to live life without another human being in it. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to find the right person. Here’s some thoughts. When you meet someone new, do you plunge in right away? Do you give your whole self without thinking about what the other person is feeling? I don’t want you to build walls. They are not easy to break down. But I think that you need to guard your heart and go into your relationships more slowly. Sometimes we are just too willing to give our whole selves when the other person is not there yet. I’m a praying woman and I pray that you will find your true soul mate. [/font]
 
Everyone likes to take but no one likes to give.

That is the nature of being human. 

Exceptions to the rule are just that.
 
I love to give also!!!! But none seems to want to recive like ve and care said:
I can relate to this so much. I constantly daydream of being in a relationship with someone. I miss it so much, holding hands, kissing, going on dates, and not sleeping alone. I wish life wasn't like this, but it is. Maybe it's for the best, I doubt it though. The thing is, I've been like this for most of my life. I'm thirty-four years old and I don't know how I lasted this long. Time and years go by fast. I wish my ex-girlfriend and I would get back together because I miss her so much. I think about her all the time, but she's moved on. I love her so much. I have no one.

UglyLoser said:
Everyone likes to take but no one likes to give.

That is the nature of being human. 

Exceptions to the rule are just that.
 
Tulowitz said:
[font=Helvetica, sans-serif]I just have to say that many of your comments are very accurate. We are made to be social beings. I believe that God created us that way. It’s not easy to live life without another  being in it. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to find the right person. Here’s some thoughts. When you meet someone new, do you plunge in right away? Do you give your whole self without thinking about what the other person is feeling? I don’t want you to build walls. They are not easy to break down. But I think that you need to guard your heart and go into your relationships more slowly. Sometimes we are just too willing to give our whole selves when the other person is not there yet. I’m a praying woman and I pray that you will find your true soul mate. [/font]


Thanks for your response. It's been a while since I made that post and allot has happened. Basically the same thing has happened in regards to abandonment again; I took it very slowly, we were friends for almost a year but of course this is life.. i don't know.
 
I have been abandoned by everyone i ever knew and associated with in any way including the closest Love, and in very strange ways where its a sudden change over night, hostile for no reason and abandonment. This includes being told by some i am the best person they have known, literally in that statement or in so many similar-words.

I agree we are social beings and it is a basic need, i Live alone and am completely isolated where i cannot even use my voice because there is no one to talk to.

Id have to keep my voice practiced by talking into my tablet's mic to type for me or talking to walls.

1) Ive always been Loyal and pretty good socially, empathic and supportive, etc; 2) besides people with strong social idiosyncracies or meanness to some degree fare much better socially than me so social problems are ruled out from these two points. Someone reading this may relate to that as well and it makes no sense in our reality

I havent visited or logged into this site in a long time until just now
 
tone303 said:
I have been abandoned by everyone i ever knew and associated with in any way including the closest Love, and in very strange ways where its a sudden change over night, hostile for no reason and abandonment. This includes being told by some i am the best person they have known, literally in that statement or in so many similar-words.

I agree we are social beings and it is a basic need, i Live alone and am completely isolated where i cannot even use my voice because there is no one to talk to.

Id have to keep my voice practiced by talking into my tablet's mic to type for me or talking to walls.

1) Ive always been Loyal and pretty good socially, empathic and supportive, etc; 2) besides people with strong social idiosyncracies or meanness to some degree fare much better socially than me so social problems are ruled out from these two points. Someone reading this may relate to that as well and it makes no sense in our reality

I havent visited or logged into this site in a long time until just now

I don't know, is quite unlikely that there was a overnight change. It usually builds up in time, untill is so big that it have no choice other than explode. Try to see the positive side, you had someone who cared about you, this isn't a thing to be taken for granted :D

You can practice talking with me, my english is pretty bad but who cares lol
 
It doesnt work that way, for someone to turn hostile and abandon like this shows the care was entirely fake and psychopathic of some sort and even if not its pure pain and damage no matter how hard one would try to think like you said

Im sorry to say it. i have no explanation as to the cause or motive nor pretend to but im just saying that was the end result. i dont think they cared at all in the first place. I cant answer what the other motive or cause would be,
 
GhostOfSocietyYou can be a good friend to someone, you can be kind to people and they in return can offer a gift of companionship, a warmth, however, just like the sun, that warmth disapates, leaving you in the cold to endure the isolating effects of abandonment. Even the one's closest to you, the ones who you believed would value you enough to have the courtesy to hand you a proper goodbye so you can have a peace of mind, won't...And it becomes something you keep telling yourself won't happen the next time. But eventually you come to a realisation that they'll all abandon you in the end. They all perhaps get bored or find a better companion inevitably.However my will to have a companion still lingers in my fading dreams to remind me of the meaning of happiness. The meaning of true connection. Yes i admit, you can find happiness from within, but the disfigured truth presents itself to me, we are social animals. The very thing that i am I do not wish to be. If i could remove this desire, this longing to be closer to another who would fulfil my needs for long lasting companionship then yes, i would. I would be willing to give anything for such a thing. To remove that human side to remain nothing more than a preoccupied organism. I am getting ahead of myself, forgive me. I know not what the future entails for those who remain in the cold for too long. I have never had the luxury of retreating into the warmth of another. So it plagues me this question... Lonliness is no longer just an emotional response, it can become a physical pain, and i try to ignore it, but that's difficult since no matter where you go, it's always there. What i am confused about is why some can be so cold, it is as if their human side to which once aired warmth was merely a mask. I suppose we all wear masks in some way or another? some of us, don't even realise it. just don't understand anything anymore.The love to which I have to offer is abundant yet unused. why is it there? what is its purpose if no one wants it? I don't know anymore... :'( I have no one...




This post talk about how I feel.
 
Jafo said:
Simple answer, people suck.

A lot of people do suck..... but I believe there are good people too. I know you are lonely and hurting but dont give up. You can reply to me and I will be your friend.
 
tone303 said:
I have been abandoned by everyone i ever knew and associated with in any way including the closest Love, and in very strange ways where its a sudden change over night, hostile for no reason and abandonment. This includes being told by some i am the best person they have known, literally in that statement or in so many similar-words.

I agree we are social beings and it is a basic need, i Live alone and am completely isolated where i cannot even use my voice because there is no one to talk to.

Id have to keep my voice practiced by talking into my tablet's mic to type for me or talking to walls.

1) Ive always been Loyal and pretty good socially, empathic and supportive, etc; 2) besides people with strong social idiosyncracies or meanness to some degree fare much better socially than me so social problems are ruled out from these two points. Someone reading this may relate to that as well and it makes no sense in our reality

I havent visited or logged into this site in a long time until just now

I think you hit it right on the nose with your point #2 there. People who are more "mercenary" socially have more success socially. Bullies end up with more friends and are seen as more "attractive" socially because people have been conditioned to think being a bully = confidence = attractiveness. An emotionally intelligent person knows that bullies are not truly "confident," and that "confidence" does not mean a person has to be a bully. But society at large is brainwashed in that regard. People who know how to manipulate people are perceived to be better candidates for friendship than people who aren't manipulative.
 

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