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another "used to not being liked"
#11
(08-12-2017, 10:00 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: I wish you a lovely retirement and hopefully enough funds to say "Fuck you!" to everybody you'd rather not deal with. Some day, I hope to live that dream too! Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin

It was like yesterday, I drove through hurricane andrew's aftermath to get to the interview.  The word retirement, was a word for "old people."  I never paid attention when the state retirement people showed up, "I have plenty of time." Said this in my 20s, 30's, 40's and now I'm 51.  I feel no different inside than I did in my 20's except less frustrated with myself and life.  I went through a "personal reform" that took ten years, and it helped me in ways I could write a book about.  Anyway, I have had a good quality of life, and am amazed at how fast time goes by.

I thank you for your well wishes. I still have four years to go, and am still watching myself continue the path of estrangements.  Estrangement however, isn't as bad as it sounds....it's actually a life tool. I have over the weekend decided to cut off my family. My siblings, my mother, and all the extended family.  Sounds harsh, but it's actually a self-preservation tool Growing up, my parents miscommunicated among other things, and that continued into adulthood. Trying to explain yourself made situations worse, they just didn't get it.  I rebelled against the strange excessive punishments doled out for lying, stealing, breaking the rules etc.  Lying and stealing... right.  We were always being accused of these things and being innocent didn't matter.  Each of us took turns fessing up, until I had enough.  I was kicked out at 15, and have never been welcomed back.  My younger brother, my older sister, and my mom all get together for the holidays. I'm never invited, my son is never included either.  Just my younger brothers children.  I had cut off all contact with everyone, until a year ago I began writing my mom once per month.  She would write back.  I refused to email or call, just old fashioned letter writing.  An event happened between us that once again, caused my desire to never talk to her again.  I want nothing to do with any of them, I suspect my sister who dislikes me, involved herself. (this whole family dynamics is a very long story so it's hard in a short post to paint a true image here)  The letters abruptly changed in tone, dismissive and almost spiteful.  So I'm really done now.  With all of them.  

So, my son is really my only family.   This girlfriend I have has been amazing to me and I consider her and her children my family as well...I'm lucky and thankful.  She is the most beautiful woman I've ever had a relationship with, soft spoken and nurturing.  Always the type I wanted, but could never have.  Not to get off the subject but talking about her, is one of my favorite things to talk about. We are now selling this house, and buying a new one together.  And going on our first family vacation together next week. She and I, my son and her children.  None of them have ever been on a family vacation, so this is a first for them.  She has an 8 year old son who has come a long way in the two years we've lived together.  I hope he has fun...he's hard to please sometimes.

Anyway, I enjoy reading some of the posts here.  While we are all different, we all are the same when it comes to the social world.

Have a great rest of your weekend.
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#12
^ Dude, you're living my life. Or I'm living yours. This is creepy. I could have written that post save for a few "minor" details!
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#13
(08-12-2017, 09:32 AM)morrowrd Wrote:
(08-11-2017, 06:35 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: morrowrd

You sound a lot like me. I respect the fact that you call people out on their bullshit. I also find the behavior of most people to be disrespectful and childish nowadays. Men no longer act like men. They run around whispering, taking potshots from afar (over the phone, via email, etc) and smile you your face...basically like a little bitch.

I feel ya

I have zero male friends and frankly am so disgusted by the behavior of most "men" that I wouldn't want them as my friends anyway.

You won't make any friends confronting these men because they are petty little children with no backbones. I also call people out on their bullshit and take it straight to them. Life sucks, but there's no way I'm going out like a punk!!!

thank you for this feedback.  You validated my own thoughts and I even used your words today at work today.  heh heh heh...little bitches. What an excellent description and as funny as it sounds, its the truth.

(08-12-2017, 12:51 AM)Richard_39 Wrote:
(08-11-2017, 06:28 PM)morrowrd Wrote: Yeah, I've been here 26 years and this place has had a two full turnovers of administration and staff since 1991.  I used to like it here, no more. The last two years have been the worst for "tudes" and my tolerance for them is at below zero. I don't really care about making friends here, it's a job.   Although my post here is to describe a life pattern. This kind of thing happens out of work, as well as there.

Holy crap lol. Admiration, man, 26 years is braver than me. My record is maybe 6 years, after which just looking at the walls make me queasy lol.
I kind of regret not asking my dad to pay me laser therapy for my eyes 20 years ago. I definetely regret not becoming a cop. I'm not someone who lives or concentrates with regret, but that's one of the turning points of my life I wish I would have spared soemone less to advantage myself, for once. Lots of troubles would have been avoided. Although I'd probably have lost my job by now (I don't think I'd be able to jail a pedophile without having some fun, first, sadly.)
I always had zero tolerance for horseshit. We're already forced to work all together for a living even though most of us wishes they were rich and home in a mansion in the Bahamas, so why not laugh instead of concentrating on stabbing each other? But it seems people get their rocks off of that, as I've come to experience lol.
Only advice I can give you is do your thing and ignore those who behave like assholes. Because punching them, while gratifying, does not help your advancement opportunities, trust me LOL ;-)

In 1991, I took this job. It's a lower level supervisory job....it's perfect for me.  Just enough responsibility, not too much.  And I have no interest in moving up. It's a state job, so I have nice security, comfortable position, and I am in charge. Although everyone answers to someone and obviously I do too.  BUT, for a man like me....non/anti social, this has been the best job for me. I take very good care of the one person I supervise, and he takes care of me.  With all the bullshit here, it doesn't affect us too badly because we help each other. I make sure he is taken care of....I've saved his ass so many times.  He has been an ear to me and knows all about my dating stories, divorce, everything. I know his story.  I will miss him when I retire. I have a retirement incentive...that matures in four years.  If I don't take it, I will be working here for free.  While four years to someone in their 20s sounds like forever, when you reach my age, you will realize how fast time goes by.  I don't feel old, I feel like too much time has gone by in almost no time. Years are like days.

LOL Someone in his late 30's early 40's, actually ;-)
Honestly? 4 years is an eternity for me, but only because that is the date at which, with luck, half my child support payments will lower! Again, in 10 years time, I should stop paying it alltogether.
I know that once that happens, life will go by in a freaking wink lol. For the moment though, it's a slow, poor, no money to eat kind of torture.
Hey, if you work for free, want to send me somer? Pretty please? I want to retire this year! Smile
Your gig sounds ideal. I'm really jealous, honestly, considering the bullshit I go through at work. Well forget about leaving, just hang in there. After that, peace and quiet ;-)
Take care man!
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#14
(08-14-2017, 09:44 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: ^ Dude, you're living my life. Or I'm living yours. This is creepy. I could have written that post save for a few "minor" details!

what part?
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#15
(08-15-2017, 07:37 AM)morrowrd Wrote:
(08-14-2017, 09:44 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: ^ Dude, you're living my life. Or I'm living yours. This is creepy. I could have written that post save for a few "minor" details!

what part?


The entire situation with your family sounds like a carbon copy of mine.
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