Hi, Dear
It must be scary to think you have become what you always hated, but take time to ask yourself why you have hated it, the real reason. then being in yur current shoes analyse whether your reasoning is justifable, feelin and knowing what you know know.
if that doesn't help then pls know that you ain't alone and the only weird thing about it is you thinking it is weird. Let yourself feel it is your right, just take it slow exploring your reasons and enjoying the feeling. Don't be tormented by it just love it life will be so much better.
so you can't explin why you feel as you do! who cares if it makes you happy grab it and treasure it. well hope i helped pass my regards to her she must be special. till later stay happy.