Do you like who you are?

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Chris 2

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I have gone through life for a long time now, and I have seen the joy in other, the life that I only wish I knew what it is like. You see people having fun anywhere, sometime it seen that they have the perfect life, everything is so easily for them. I seen people who came into a new school, and within the first hours, they had already form a friendship in which many years I couldn't do. What does that tell you about me, does it tell you they are far more advance then I could possibility achieve? How could I fall behind so badly?

Sometime don't you wish you were someone else? I wish I was better looking, or just normal I guess, which might be misinterpret as low self esteem but it not. I just want a pretty girl someday, but I don't want it where she is consider out of my league, and people will say "why is she going out with that guy?" "She can do better". Maybe I guess I wish I could myself handsome or hot, like "hot guys looking for a hot girls". I guess you could tell by what I mean, it just would be so much easier. If this come out somewhat selfish, then maybe it is I guess, but life has deal me a bad hand, and who to say if certain event happen I would be someone else in a different family. Life is ever changing, don't really know what you will become until that first day you open your eye coming out of your mom body.

Life when you don't even feel like waking up everyday is not a life anyone would want to lead. I want to be there, out partying and relaxing yet feel comfortable in those setting. Sure you could say i could still do these thing, but...how can I? Don't you wonder or know that if you look different, had all teh physical appearance that make you attractive.

So if I was like everyone else, would I care if I was a jerk, a bad boyfriend who probably cheat on my girlfriend replacing that with my current life? I wouldn't hesitate, maybe it is wrong, but at least my life has potential, and I get to be everyone else. Sure I'll be a scumbag, I mean who isn't nowadays, but at least I won't feel suicidal, won't be ignore, won't feel like I don't belong or that I don't exist.
 
I definitely don't like who i am. I've been in some dark, dark places in my life, and have pulled through with new damages each time. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing because i have just become callous and without feeling a lot of the time. I'm basically numb to it all now. And everyday i seem to pull away a little more to the comfort of my lifelong loneliness. And what scares me is that I'm finally starting to just accept it and no longer care to even put up a fight to fit in.
 
I can relate to your post lopakhin. I do like who I am but there is a few things I would change if I could. Fundamentally who I am is a great guy with a lot to offer. But there is some things phisacly I would change if I could and if am honest there is somethings mentally I would change. But even though there is things that I have not really dealt with yet and knowing me probably never well I do still look at my self as a great person and a person that can be a great friend if given the chance. But you can not change who you are and what you are. You just have to deal with the feelings you get. That is the problem. having feelings that you wish where just not there = confusion, hurt misery and @ last the big mother of them all = LONELINESS. All because we are unable to be honest with ourselves and others.
 
Hi guys
I can completely relate to this thread, i spent the first 28 or so years of my life, wanting to be someone else, not fitting in, feeling like a failure, wanting to look better, have a better work life etc etc
What i can say now however 4 years on... i love myself...not everyday, i am very aware of my failings but i have become the person i wanted to be because i believed i was better than the life/ situation i had been dealt
Often something major has to happen for a epiphany to occur, i left my husband, then i slogged it out for months and months and began to take control, for me it was all about control and my own happiness, all decisions i made i asked myself what does this do for ME, rather than my family/ husband etc, i made my own choices and followed my own path, i also genuinely believe i was emotionally immature for a long time hence the previous bad feelings and i worked very hard on maturing these emotions and growing
I try and make myself better everyday, i'm still lonely, yes, but i'm pretty happy, i know i'm gonna fall down the hill in the barrel many more times, but bring it on, i learn and i use those experiences, to make myself happier in the long run
good luck in finding your own happiness x


i'm very lucky i have developed what they call bouncebackability, sometimes the bounce takes longer than others and can involved very dark places, but i keep pushing until it comes
 
I like what ghostnyourmist articulated, yet the thought that who I am is to blame for where I am keeps me from being sure I totally agree. Anyhow, there's a lot about where I am in life I am super grateful for.
It's not all good, and it's not all bad. That's the reality of my situation.
The truth is, you couldn't pay me a zillion dollars to sacrifice what's good to fix what's bad. For example. My health? The fact that I'm not disabled? I, uh, think I'd rather be broke than to lose that. My freedom? The fact that I am no criminal and imprisoned for such, and can walk to work, as I'll be doing in a few hours? I think loneliness aint so bad, actually. Speaking of work, it's certainly nicer to have a job than not. I'm all for "counting my blessings" whenever I get down about s***. It really does make me wake the f*** up and stop complaining.
 
romie said:
all decisions i made i asked myself what does this do for ME, rather than my family/ husband etc, i made my own choices and followed my own path,

I think this is my problem, I worry too much about what will make my family happy. My mom loves my wife, She thinks she walks on water. She is starting to see what I see now but thinks I should give her more time. My wife turns her head if I try to kiss her, we haven't had sex in almost a year, we share a house but it's more like we are roommates now. I have tried everything, romantic dinners, flowers, ect. but she just doesn't want to work it out. She says there is not a problem and refuses to talk about it. We have been married for 22 years. She has pushed me away for so long that I don't think I love her anymore. But where does it go from here? If I follow my own path I will loose custody of my daughter because of my job. So it seems I'm stuck here and can never be the person I am but only the 2nd half of a couple that once was.:(
 
well, wherever I go , whatever I do...there I am and my shadows too.
I guess, it's best to learn how to love myself and deal with myself if I'm
to live with myself 24/7s. Commonsence I think.
How would I rule the world if i can't even rule myself.lol
Hating myself or working against myself...would be insanity.

I've done things I havn't always liked. Not everything I do is bad.
The tricky part is recognizing some of the things I do... (that I like)... arn't so healthy for me.

It's always eaier to give up something that I don't like.
It takes a lot of hard work to let go of things I like that's unhealthy for me.
 
At times, I feel that I hate myself too. I've had suicidal thoughts before but whenever I think of killing myself, my family comes into my mind. But...I cant imagine being someone else. If I'm given a choice to change bodies, I wouldn't do it. This is my story, I won't trade it off even if it's going to have a sad ending.
 
I like who I am. I have faults and so forth, but in some ways I'm proud of some of those too.

I can certainly relate to those who feel that their situation has held them back from being themselves. In fact, I was like that too for a number of years. Its only when you escape from such that you realise you can in fact be happy - and being happy is the key to liking who you are.
 
lopakhin said:
I definitely don't like who i am. I've been in some dark, dark places in my life, and have pulled through with new damages each time. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing because i have just become callous and without feeling a lot of the time. I'm basically numb to it all now. And everyday i seem to pull away a little more to the comfort of my lifelong loneliness. And what scares me is that I'm finally starting to just accept it and no longer care to even put up a fight to fit in.

Lopakhin your a good looking guy, I'm guessing your problem stem much deeper than your outer appearance?

Blue said:
At times, I feel that I hate myself too. I've had suicidal thoughts before but whenever I think of killing myself, my family comes into my mind. But...I cant imagine being someone else. If I'm given a choice to change bodies, I wouldn't do it. This is my story, I won't trade it off even if it's going to have a sad ending.

Your right Blue, sometime I wouldn't want to change body, but other time I am unsure. I mean if I had a different face, I would have no problem dating girls and having them as my girlfriends. Then there are times, that I think to myself, would I be any happier given a different face? Maybe the truth why I hate myself is that I'm not White, I could be the prettiest Asian boy out there but I would never be contend with myself. I assume the media has a lot to do with who I am attractive to, as a kids, you see those Barbie commercial, and you instantly think to yourselves these are the girls you want to date. As if I was raise up in an Asian community, or somewhere where there were a lot of Asians girls I would be interested in them, but I grew up halfway around the world, the girls in places where Asians were so rare, that it would be surprisingly to even see one. But I been depress for a long time now, practically most of my childhood has fall in ruin, so I don't know if I like who I am.

Steel said:
I like who I am. I have faults and so forth, but in some ways I'm proud of some of those too.

I can certainly relate to those who feel that their situation has held them back from being themselves. In fact, I was like that too for a number of years. Its only when you escape from such that you realise you can in fact be happy - and being happy is the key to liking who you are.

I have never be happy, but I know exactly what my solution are to attain some of those happiness. Still there are things out of your control such as raising up in a poor family, where your stuck in a dangerous, crime ridden community with racist people on your back everyday, sworn that fighting to your death is the only way, and grown accustom to that "no die, attitude" where you look at Death straight in the face and yell "Bring it on". I guess how can one be happy with themselves who is still living in this situation.

It been years now, lack of any friends for the past 10 years has redeem myself to inferior to everyone else. I have lost my identity, don't know who I am, and sure have the hardest times making little decisions. Things like these you just wonder how on earth someone could be so difference from someone else who was born innocence in this world and yet their lives is so much better than your, and it so hard not to feel inferior. Everything is a given to them, like a flick of the wrist, and boom, whereas things that you could only dream off, but no that it just ain't happening. How could someone like themselves in this circumstances? To try to put on a fake smile to make other people happy, while ruining any sort of pride and dignity you might have had. Life is hard.
 
I like who I am, i'd just rather stuff would be slightly different than it is or had been and if was someone else i'd be whining on about how I can't do or don't have what someone else has or what i was originally. I like who I am and I don't want to be anyone else at all.

To be honest, I feel sorry for the 6 billion people who aren't me.
 
Do I like who I am? Not particularly, but I guess I could have come out worse. I'm not going to list out all of my faults, but suffice it to say I believe I have much to do to improve myself in regard to the things that are within my control. I still retain hope that I can grow and change for the better as a person. If not, I would checked out of this life, either literally or metaphorically, a long time ago.

I'm probably just in one of my optimistic moods right now, but I still think that in the end I will "win."
 
jjam said:
... who I am is to blame for where I am ...

That would be my thought so i can't really say that i like who i am.

Admittedly it could be much worse and i do have a lot to be grateful for but i can't say that i like who i am because of where it has led me to.
 
I do, mostly. I feel just a little hard done by. Whether it's physical, mental or whatever- it's just based around luck.

I mean I would say I am quite attractive, or at least people seem to think so..

However I have OCD, and with that it brought some pretty annoying ticks which can silence a room at times. Or at least that's how it feels. I don't mean to 'big up' my problems by that admission, but feel I may as well explain the root of all that is evil in my world.

However, wouldn't change who I was ever. I love some many aspects of my life, just as many as I hate at least.
 
There are things about myself i realy dont like much and try to change such as my weight and my lack of asking for help when i realy need it.
BUT
If i was to change things too much, then i would'nt be me and i guess im actualy comfortable being me even though i dont like "me" much.(if that makes sence.)
 
From what you've described Chris 2, I like who you are =)

Sometimes I feel the same way too, that I'm not physically attractive enough (mainly b/c of my short stature).
 
Red_Apple said:
Sometimes I feel the same way too, that I'm not physically attractive enough (mainly b/c of my short stature).

OMG your drop dead gorgeous. Wayne, Garth, let us get on our knees "we're not worthy! we're not worthy!" lol

Me, I love who I am on the inside, but I'm not satisfied with the outside nor with what I've accomplished in life, or the lack thereof. I was happy with solitude for a while, but now I have a strong urge to change and improve.
 
Catharsis said:
Red_Apple said:
Sometimes I feel the same way too, that I'm not physically attractive enough (mainly b/c of my short stature).

OMG your drop dead gorgeous. Wayne, Garth, let us get on our knees "we're not worthy! we're not worthy!" lol

Me, I love who I am on the inside, but I'm not satisfied with the outside nor with what I've accomplished in life, or the lack thereof. I was happy with solitude for a while, but now I have a strong urge to change and improve.
I say this.
 
I like myself NOW. I didn't like myself THEN.

Took me awhile to realize that I didn't like myself because I wasn't trying to be myself.

So I've decided to have a sex change operation and change my name to "Melissa".

Just kidding...I probably won't change my name.
 

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