I have gone through life for a long time now, and I have seen the joy in other, the life that I only wish I knew what it is like. You see people having fun anywhere, sometime it seen that they have the perfect life, everything is so easily for them. I seen people who came into a new school, and within the first hours, they had already form a friendship in which many years I couldn't do. What does that tell you about me, does it tell you they are far more advance then I could possibility achieve? How could I fall behind so badly?
Sometime don't you wish you were someone else? I wish I was better looking, or just normal I guess, which might be misinterpret as low self esteem but it not. I just want a pretty girl someday, but I don't want it where she is consider out of my league, and people will say "why is she going out with that guy?" "She can do better". Maybe I guess I wish I could myself handsome or hot, like "hot guys looking for a hot girls". I guess you could tell by what I mean, it just would be so much easier. If this come out somewhat selfish, then maybe it is I guess, but life has deal me a bad hand, and who to say if certain event happen I would be someone else in a different family. Life is ever changing, don't really know what you will become until that first day you open your eye coming out of your mom body.
Life when you don't even feel like waking up everyday is not a life anyone would want to lead. I want to be there, out partying and relaxing yet feel comfortable in those setting. Sure you could say i could still do these thing, but...how can I? Don't you wonder or know that if you look different, had all teh physical appearance that make you attractive.
So if I was like everyone else, would I care if I was a jerk, a bad boyfriend who probably cheat on my girlfriend replacing that with my current life? I wouldn't hesitate, maybe it is wrong, but at least my life has potential, and I get to be everyone else. Sure I'll be a scumbag, I mean who isn't nowadays, but at least I won't feel suicidal, won't be ignore, won't feel like I don't belong or that I don't exist.
Sometime don't you wish you were someone else? I wish I was better looking, or just normal I guess, which might be misinterpret as low self esteem but it not. I just want a pretty girl someday, but I don't want it where she is consider out of my league, and people will say "why is she going out with that guy?" "She can do better". Maybe I guess I wish I could myself handsome or hot, like "hot guys looking for a hot girls". I guess you could tell by what I mean, it just would be so much easier. If this come out somewhat selfish, then maybe it is I guess, but life has deal me a bad hand, and who to say if certain event happen I would be someone else in a different family. Life is ever changing, don't really know what you will become until that first day you open your eye coming out of your mom body.
Life when you don't even feel like waking up everyday is not a life anyone would want to lead. I want to be there, out partying and relaxing yet feel comfortable in those setting. Sure you could say i could still do these thing, but...how can I? Don't you wonder or know that if you look different, had all teh physical appearance that make you attractive.
So if I was like everyone else, would I care if I was a jerk, a bad boyfriend who probably cheat on my girlfriend replacing that with my current life? I wouldn't hesitate, maybe it is wrong, but at least my life has potential, and I get to be everyone else. Sure I'll be a scumbag, I mean who isn't nowadays, but at least I won't feel suicidal, won't be ignore, won't feel like I don't belong or that I don't exist.