PorscheGuy said:
When I was in my early 20's, I had very few friends and wanted more - I especially wanted a girlfriend, as I hadn't even dated yet at that point. My family suggested I join a club. I'm a car enthusiast, so I joined a car club . I made lots of friends in that club, all around the same age. I even met my wife through that club. Then as everyone got older, got married and had kids, the club basically disbanded, and I lost all those friends. It seemed like everyone grew up and grew apart. Now I don't have those friends, or really any friends anymore, other than my wife - who has been strongly encouraging me to make new friends. I recently tried joining another car club, but it was full of members in their early to mid 20's! Now I'm in my mid-30's and I can't relate to them. Not sure what to do now. Finding a car club geared toward people in their mid-30's is much easier said than done. It's like car enthusiasts are only in their early-mid 20's and 60+ (with classic cars). What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Wait until I'm 60 to make new friends? It's frustrating. Everyone my age is too busy with their families to belong to a club and/or make friends.
You're going in the right direction, but understand breaking into social circles as you get older is harder. I think it's harder for men than women who by nature tend to be more social. If you have any anti-social dysfunctions, its even harder. You appear to have no problem joining a club to break into some sort of social circle. That's pretty good at your age, in my thirties it was the beginning of the end for me, and socializing.
I ran a community youth program for ten years, and made "friends" there. Mostly parents who decided to attend events and I used them as extra supervision. During activities, there would be socializing, (basically small talk about life and each other) - but nothing really that spilled over outside of the group. My co-worker and I are like brothers. Yet we don't see each outside of work, except a couple exceptions where we went to a concert together, but our lives don't mesh, other than work. So any socializing I've done after 30 had very defined boundaries.
I've often thought it would be nice to have bbq's, and get togethers like everyone else, but as the years have gone by, and I have adapted to being alone, visitors now feel like intruders. My home is like a fortress, and sadly, I've sold it to FEMA because it's in a flood plain. I am moving to a new home in a few weeks, and sparing no expense on upgrades to make it as much like what we are losing. One thing I have here, is an eight foot stockade cedar fence around the property. As we have been at the new property a few times measuring things (like the fence) neighbors came over, all friendly....asking a ton of questions. Instead of feeling like they were being friendly, I felt they were being nosy. I bluntly told them a fence is going up, so don't be offended. (and walked away from them to make more measurements.) My fiancee then tried to smooth things over, because things became awkward after I walked away. Then on the way back home, she tells me that as soon as I walked away, they asked some other more personal questions, that made her uncomfortable.
That fence is one of the first things going up. I have a Lowes representative meeting me there Monday and I plan on walling off the property immediately. I plan on ignoring the neighbors.