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What are some of the mind games people play that you can't stand?
#1
New thought-

What are some of the mind games people play? I know this gut feeling that is left with me after an interaction is not all in my head. Not so much interpersonal relationships such as romantic, family or friendships, wait scratch that, yes all of those but I'm more speaking ......in general. Through out my life, I've always noticed mind games people play but no one ever talks about them or...... gives voice to them. I think these silent mind games or more like power struggles if you will, someone smacking you down mentally so they can have the upperhand...whatever you want to call it, make a lot of people want to just be alone. 

Here is one mind game that people play a lot that I hate:

 I've noticed this A LOT in my life. Way too much. People who come to me with their problems, who want to talk to me about their problems, throw all their problems onto me, and I am thoughtful enough to give them really thought out non-cliche advice. I truly want to help. Well at the end of the interaction, they wind up defending the person they were just talking really badly about that made them feel like poop, and then I see the shift in them like they don't care about it anymore. It's like they really want to spite me and I don't know why? It's like they threw all their problems onto me, made me care about it and get all into it, then they feel better but not in a grateful way. They are not like "hey, that made me feel so much better, thank you". Nah, it's no where near that. It's almost like "ahahaha, I made you just as upset about my situation, or more, as I am and now if I just leave you right in the middle of it, it'll make me feel better because that will make me feel superior. I just dumped all my problems onto you"  Something like that.

This happens to me more often than not. I can't be the only one. My question is, why can't we all just interact normally? Why must there always be a mind game in every interaction. I have not had a genuine human interaction in God knows how long. How did we get here? 

Anyway, what is a mind game you all really hate?
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#2
The It's All About Me Game

The Seek My Approval Game

The You Are Always Bad And Wrong Game

The If You Trust Me, You Have No Value Game

I could name a million
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#3
(09-15-2017, 04:35 AM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: The It's All About Me Game

The Seek My Approval Game

The You Are Always Bad And Wrong Game

The If You Trust Me, You Have No Value Game

I could name a million

 We have to be soul related somehow, we always thinkin the same way. Can you further explain the "seek my approval game" and "if  you trust me, you have no value game"?
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#4
(09-15-2017, 02:20 AM)MissLonely79 Wrote: New thought-

What are some of the mind games people play? I know this gut feeling that is left with me after an interaction is not all in my head. Not so much interpersonal relationships such as romantic, family or friendships, wait scratch that, yes all of those but I'm more speaking ......in general. Through out my life, I've always noticed mind games people play but no one ever talks about them or...... gives voice to them. I think these silent mind games or more like power struggles if you will, someone smacking you down mentally so they can have the upperhand...whatever you want to call it, make a lot of people want to just be alone. 

Here is one mind game that people play a lot that I hate:

 I've noticed this A LOT in my life. Way too much. People who come to me with their problems, who want to talk to me about their problems, throw all their problems onto me, and I am thoughtful enough to give them really thought out non-cliche advice. I truly want to help. Well at the end of the interaction, they wind up defending the person they were just talking really badly about that made them feel like poop, and then I see the shift in them like they don't care about it anymore. It's like they really want to spite me and I don't know why? It's like they threw all their problems onto me, made me care about it and get all into it, then they feel better but not in a grateful way. They are not like "hey, that made me feel so much better, thank you". Nah, it's no where near that. It's almost like "ahahaha, I made you just as upset about my situation, or more, as I am and now if I just leave you right in the middle of it, it'll make me feel better because that will make me feel superior. I just dumped all my problems onto you"  Something like that.

This happens to me more often than not. I can't be the only one. My question is, why can't we all just interact normally? Why must there always be a mind game in every interaction. I have not had a genuine human interaction in God knows how long. How did we get here? 

It seems to be the nature of some people they are aiming to transfer their pain and if you appear to be vulnerable they will transfer it onto you and then walk away..some people are positively unpleasant and will have no real regard for you just a vessel to deposit their misery into such people are toxic and you mustn't let them use you in that way.

Anyway, what is a mind game you all really hate?
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#5
(09-15-2017, 05:16 AM)MissLonely79 Wrote:
(09-15-2017, 04:35 AM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: The It's All About Me Game

The Seek My Approval Game

The You Are Always Bad And Wrong Game

The If You Trust Me, You Have No Value Game

I could name a million

 We have to be soul related somehow, we always thinkin the same way. Can you further explain the "seek my approval game" and "if  you trust me, you have no value game"?

Sure.

The "Seek My Approval Game" is a situation where a person is only willing to have a relationship with you if you are willing to constantly stay in the role of approval-seeker. This could be a parent, a child, a spouse, a romantic interest, a coworker, or even your neighbor. The common denominator with this type of people is that they will only relate to you based on the power imbalance that they are "better" and you therefore need to be constantly in pursuit of their approval. If you show the slightest signs of a budding sense of self-esteem, they will drop you faster than a hot potato!

The "If You Trust Me, You Have No Value Game" is something I learned firsthand by dealing with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. People with BPD having shockingly low self-esteem. They are locked into a cycle. The lover, the hater, the victim. The lover, the hater, the victim. The lover, the hater, the victim.

1. I am a victim, please love me.
2. You love me. But I'm worthless, so you are worthless too, and I hate you.
3. You left because I hated you, now I don't have you, now you have value because you don't want me, I need you, I am a victim. Please love me.

^ rinse, wash, repeat

It's not only those with BPD who exhibit these behaviors.

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#6
I agree with some of these already,the silent treatment,I really don't like that one. I think if you've got a problem with someone then you should be able to discuss it with that person.

The you like me and so i'm going to ignore you for someone who is going to treat me like shit because I think you have no value or self-respect. I've been reading a couple of books around this lately. Apparently people are more in to people that ignore them because they want to seek their approval. It's not good to be too nice. I don't get that one.
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#7
The silent treatment game =P. Something I never really experienced until finding this place. It took me a while to understand that it was actually and game and why it seemed to make me angry/feel like shit. It's because the person is not being sincere with you. It's inauthentic. If you are sincere and direct and honest and being your authentic self and the other person plays the silent game with you... its a sign that they don't respect you. They are not sincere in their interactions with you. It's all just entertainment(or a game? =P) for them. They think they are better than you. It's very frustrating dealing with this kind of person. Calling out the behavior only makes it worse because they aren't sincere in their interactions with you in the first place. Why should they give a fuck how you feel. They certainly aren't going to care enough to apologize or change their behavior. I've decided the only way to deal with it is to play the fuck you game and try to find better people to interact with.

I think I was very lucky in my younger years to meet the close friends that I have because I have never had these kinds of problems of people playing "games" with them. Even with my first ex I never had these issues and we're still great friends. I'm starting to find more of these types but you do have to filter through a lot trash to find them.
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#8
Crying for attention
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#9
The "silent treatment" game. Like others have said, I think it's cowardly.

The "too nice = loser" game. I've read a lot about it and I see the thought process, but at the same time, I feel like it's completely stupid to me. When someone is nice to me, or nice in general, I don't think to myself "that person is nice, they must be weak, what a square/lame/loser". I think "it's great that there are some people that make the world more pleasant to live in cause there's so much unpleasantness as it is."

The "constantly measuring your social status to make sure you are 'cool' enough" game. I like to talk to people that I don't have to keep my guard up with. I don't like it when I feel like people are just waiting for me to slip up and make a conversational or social mistake, so they can turn their nose up at me. I forgive social mistakes, I think most of them don't matter anyway cause it's all made up. I know it's hard and we can't be strong and smart and perfect all the time.

The "acting like I'm with you, but really think I'm better than you" game. Closely related to another game I hate, the "I think I'm better than you and only barely conceal it so you know I think I'm better than you but can't prove it, and I won't come out and say it because I don't want to own looking like a elitist" game.

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#10
(09-16-2017, 07:40 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: The "acting like I'm with you, but really think I'm better than you" game.  Closely related to another game I hate, the "I think I'm better than you and only barely conceal it so you know I think I'm better than you but can't prove it, and I won't come out and say it because I don't want to own looking like a elitist" game.

You forgot to add in the part of the game where even thinking that someone might be playing this game with you only gets you accused of being insecure and having low self esteem. The "its only in your head teehee" game.
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