What the F**K Is my Problem

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TheBIgGW

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I have a problem, A lot of them. I am in a committed and generally happy relationship. Almost four years. I just started college about a month ago. I'm excited to see the new faces and meet new people and get out of the house. I live near my Girlfriend which is nice but I would like a bit more time to myself. I have a job where I work for the school (that's all the info I can give out) and I have co-workers. Now I promised my Girlfriend that I would not become interested with anyone else here. For about the last month I've worked with the same girl and I find myself now always thinking about her. Like it's non-stop I wonder what she's doing and How nice it would be to be with her. She's not like one of those girl you look at and say "Dang She's Hot AF" She's a cute, Nice, Funny, and Just really get's me. 
I find myself less interested in stuff with my Girlfriend. I feel bad but I do. We have been fighting a lot lately. I get why. I don't show a lot of emotion and she gets mad about it. She has told me that she thinks I'm not interested anymore. It's gotten to the point of where she almost left me twice. I cannot think of a life without her. It's been so long . I don't want to say I'm In love with this other girl but she is just like the right fit for me. I love my Girlfriend with all my heart always will but I really don't know what is wrong with me. My Depression is starting to kick in really bad. I don't like to go out anymore. I don't want to do anything but sleep. It's unhealthy.
Any Suggestons

Thank You
 
TheBIgGW said:
I have a problem, A lot of them. I am in a committed and generally happy relationship. Almost four years. I just started college about a month ago. I'm excited to see the new faces and meet new people and get out of the house. I live near my Girlfriend which is nice but I would like a bit more time to myself. I have a job where I work for the school (that's all the info I can give out) and I have co-workers. Now I promised my Girlfriend that I would not become interested with anyone else here. For about the last month I've worked with the same girl and I find myself now always thinking about her. Like it's non-stop I wonder what she's doing and How nice it would be to be with her. She's not like one of those girl you look at and say "Dang She's Hot AF" She's a cute, Nice, Funny, and Just really get's me. 
I find myself less interested in stuff with my Girlfriend. I feel bad but I do. We have been fighting a lot lately. I get why. I don't show a lot of emotion and she gets mad about it. She has told me that she thinks I'm not interested anymore. It's gotten to the point of where she almost left me twice. I cannot think of a life without her. It's been so long . I don't want to say I'm In love with this other girl but she is just like the right fit for me. I love my Girlfriend with all my heart always will but I really don't know what is wrong with me. My Depression is starting to kick in really bad. I don't like to go out anymore. I don't want to do anything but sleep. It's unhealthy.
Any Suggestons

Thank You
Click to expand...

Seems like you are developing a crush on your coworker, and your girlfriend probably has managed to sense something going on which is why she left you.
And yes, I know this is hard to believe, but the reason you can't stop thinking about your coworker is because you are developing a crush on her.
Anyway, if you have fallen out of love with your gf and have fallen for someone else, then the right thing to do in this situation is to break up with your gf and stop wasting her time. She deserves to have someone who is able to love her whole-heartedly rather than being with someone who is only half-hearted in the relationship.
 
There is nothing wrong with you.
So you've been with your girlfriend for four years, making that relationship start when you were....14 or 15? And from your intro thread, you had a crush on her for years before that. So, basically, you've been with the same thing (Not calling her a thing, just the routine and whatnot) for basically all of your life.

Now you are in college, realizing there is more to life than what you knew in college. Your girlfriend is likely jealous and may or may not have trust issues with you. Now, it could be that causing the arguments, it could be her picking up on it like prodigy said or it could be you picking at everything because you might want out or feel guilty about things.

Basically, what you need to do is figure out what you want. Stop thinking you are obligated to stay with your girlfriend. You aren't, if you stay with her when you don't really want to be with her, you will just make both of you miserable and you will become resentful. It's not a matter of whether or not you love her, because honestly, love isn't always enough. She is all you've ever known, and now that you are out in the "real" world, you are beginning to have other thoughts. Be honest with her, yes it will hurt both of you and she will likely be pissed, but she deserves the truth and you deserve to find out what else there is in life. If you and your girlfriend are meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other.
 
I don't think you have a problem necessarily,I think it's a normal reaction. You're in a new environment,lots going on,a new beginning and developing more as a person with different interests. You say you've been arguing a lot with your girlfriend and that is probably creating some kind of tension and not something that you enjoy being around. You've got a crush on this new person,again new and exciting.

I think you have to consider whether you still have feelings for your current girlfriend and whether or not that can work,I would say maybe set aside a bit of time together to do something special or romantic if you want to work it,I've noticed from your post that isn't something you feel like doing,in which case I know you say you can't imagine life without her but work out what it is that is making you stay and what it is that you like about her,the positives rather than the negatives. If it isn't enough to sustain being with her,I would consider separating for her sake as well as yours,so that she can find someone who is going to love her and treat her the way that she deserves to be treated.
 
I think with relationships come maturity. You have to be wise enough to know this is just a crush and a crush is always temporary. Keep in mind, I am giving you this advice is because you say you're still in love with your girlfriend. However, I think the real problem is here, that you don't want to be in a relationship period and this crush you have on the girl is more like an escape for you. Gauranteed you won't even know the girls name (figure of speech) a year from now. Anyway it would literally devestate your girlfriend if she knew how you were feeling about another girl. I would say be honest with yourself, ask yourself what you really want and follow your heart. You are depressed because you are not following what you want. If you need a break from her, I would do tell her so but a break is really painful for the other person. I'd probably just break up with her perm. That's my advice.
 
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