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Softguy

Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2017
Messages
19
Reaction score
3
Location
UK
Hi,

Thanks for reading (so far) and I hope to discover new friends on the forum. Here are a few words about me for those wanting to read futher than this sentence.

Brief story
I've always felt 'at odds' with the World from as far back as I can remember, and have found it sometimes difficult to fit in with those around me. Shyness lead to anxiety, in a lot of situations, and escapism was my default policy. Still I have always managed to lead a fairly normal life.

Things hit rock bottom for me in 2013 when I was coming out of a very damaging relationship, and I'd also lost my Dad around the same time. I was left to deal with probate, his house, consoling my elder brothers, dealing with the breakup of my own family (previous to the damaging relationship) and also the threat of losing my home from financial pressure.

Hours after a failed attempt on my life, I heard that line in my head from the film 'Shawshank Redemption' in which the lead character says "...it comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying". After that realisation everything changed. Things got easier. Situations became easier to cope with. I started to feel the Sun on my face again and felt like maybe everything will be OK.

I'm now stronger than i've ever been and have resumed my love of the study of consiousness. My fear of death is completely gone and I feel like i'm smiling all the time, though this is in my head mostly. My fear of being on my own has been replaced by acceptance and that living on your own is actually pretty good too. I'm completely domesticated and can cook lovely foods and have a great new job.

---------------------------

I totally understand the fear of being on one's own and if only someone had have been there for me in 2013 things would have been much easier. BUT, saying that, I wouldn't have come through it with such strength and acceptance. Being able to talk about things in life with people can make a world of difference, so I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Thanks for reading :)
 
Hi softguy welcome to the forum :)

I'm sorry to hear about your rough patch a few years ago, but it sounds like you're doing better now.

Congrats on the new job, what do you do?
 
Same story here, a damaging relationship and the death of my father. I'm really sorry. But you seem strong.
Hugs.
 
evanescencefan912 said:
Hi softguy welcome to the forum :)

I'm sorry to hear about your rough patch a few years ago, but it sounds like you're doing better now.

Congrats on the new job, what do you do?

Sorry, I've just seen your reply now! Thanks for the welcome :) I keep coming across interesting threads on here that are so relevent to my life.

I'm an IT support guy and love web development also.
 
Hey there Softguy, welcome to the forum. :)

Just wanted to say that reading your intro makes me feel like I can relate a lot, feeling like an oddball all my life, and to the timeline of things you went through. Lost my dad, lost myself from a toxic relationship, lost my home and had to find someplace smaller etc. Just so many memories of my own when reading yours.

Glad you're in a much better place right now. Stay strong!
 
Thank you to all for the lovely messages :) :) I'm sorry I haven't been on for such a long time but life kinda picks you up and takes you away from stuff.

I hope you're all in a great place in your lives and that you are on a positive path <3
 

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