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King.Matty-1985

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I'm a 32 year old man that is 'in a very lonesome and often depressive time of life - where due to 'differences' from myself and those of my peers, my life as an adult man is def very differently-able then that of a regular guy at my age,as I've become excluded, ostracized, &  somewhat outcast by people whom not only were 'old good friends' but my own family members as well. I never had a girlfriend or was ever married, & my skills socially are way the heck down but def better then when I was younger. I often feel quite down a lot due to extreme shyness, anxiety, & social awkwardness, especially at my work. I was seeing a consular for a while, but it ultimately did not work out. I do have plenty of good days as well as 'off days,' one thing I def am happy about, is yes, I have times in day or night where I feel so overwhelmed I just want to be alone w/ loud music playin' and just cry it out, while cuddling w/ my pet cat and 2 dogs, or doing something physical (going for a walk/jog, exercise, etc.) or creative(drawing, craft-making, etc.) or something to escape reality in a healthy way(reading, watching a good scifi/fantasy movie, or an lol comedy) - & thankfully, I feel better afterwards, most times. Still my loneliness def gets me going downwards lots of times, & often I daydream of 'what or how my social life couldah been' or if had things been different when I was younger, if I could have been lucky enough to potentially 'forge a sort of love-life' w/ any females I knew at the time, & where I would have been more confident, and not as awkward or needy, or in any way made any unintentional 'red flags' come across to any ladiie's I knew & tried making a good 1st impression of back then that was why I never had any of them show that 'type of' interest in me as a potential date, partner, or anything more... I feel like cause of my life & its own limitations, it def makes me think I'm def too late to have a 'decent social life'(and for that matter, too late to have any hope for any sort of lovelife)... I feel as though, there is way too much baggage and issues on my end, that no decent person out there would want me in their life as a friend, let alone as a romantic partner.
 
I wouldn't quit and think it's too late just yet, if I were only 32 years old. You've got a lot of years left to live so if you think there's too much baggage now, it's only going to be more baggage 20 years from now. Don't be posting here then and wishing you'd done things different in 2017.
You can't change your past but you can shape your own future. Figuring out how to do that is the tricky part.
 

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