King.Matty-1985
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- Joined
- Jul 23, 2017
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I'm a 32 year old man that is 'in a very lonesome and often depressive time of life - where due to 'differences' from myself and those of my peers, my life as an adult man is def very differently-able then that of a regular guy at my age,as I've become excluded, ostracized, &Â somewhat outcast by people whom not only were 'old good friends' but my own family members as well. I never had a girlfriend or was ever married, & my skills socially are way the heck down but def better then when I was younger. I often feel quite down a lot due to extreme shyness, anxiety, & social awkwardness, especially at my work. I was seeing a consular for a while, but it ultimately did not work out. I do have plenty of good days as well as 'off days,' one thing I def am happy about, is yes, I have times in day or night where I feel so overwhelmed I just want to be alone w/ loud music playin' and just cry it out, while cuddling w/ my pet cat and 2 dogs, or doing something physical (going for a walk/jog, exercise, etc.) or creative(drawing, craft-making, etc.) or something to escape reality in a healthy way(reading, watching a good scifi/fantasy movie, or an lol comedy) - & thankfully, I feel better afterwards, most times. Still my loneliness def gets me going downwards lots of times, & often I daydream of 'what or how my social life couldah been' or if had things been different when I was younger, if I could have been lucky enough to potentially 'forge a sort of love-life' w/ any females I knew at the time, & where I would have been more confident, and not as awkward or needy, or in any way made any unintentional 'red flags' come across to any ladiie's I knew & tried making a good 1st impression of back then that was why I never had any of them show that 'type of' interest in me as a potential date, partner, or anything more... I feel like cause of my life & its own limitations, it def makes me think I'm def too late to have a 'decent social life'(and for that matter, too late to have any hope for any sort of lovelife)... I feel as though, there is way too much baggage and issues on my end, that no decent person out there would want me in their life as a friend, let alone as a romantic partner.