My ex contacted me after 2 months

My ex girlfriend wrote me few days ago because she said she was worried about me after betraying me. She wants to stay friends with me. But I refused as I can't bear the thought of her being with another man. 

I deleted everything about her. But then she wrote me again apologizing for her betrayal as she ended it with me a few months ago telling me that she didn't feel love for me and that she likes another man. I was shocked because I thought everything was fine between us. We did have a few arguments lately but they didn't seem a big deal to me.

She wrote that she really wants to have a friend as me and that we could communicate as friends but nothing more.

It felt like a stab in my heart because I still love her. I told her there cannot be friendship if there is love and that it would be too painful for me to witness her having romantic relation with another man while I will keep an eye on her!

A month ago I tried to renew our relationship but she got angry and said that's its better not to communicate anymore because I don't want to stay friends. So she knows it and knows how I feel about it. Yet recently she again contact me and said she wants to stay sometimes talk with me and to give me advice for other women! And again I made it clear that i didn't want that and yet even now she hasn't deleted me from her social contacts but refuses to meet me face to face.

Some of the things she said a few months ago still hurts me. Like saying that she could not make me happy because she doesn't love me, despite making plans of marriage with me! We known each other a year. Then why did she all this time speak about a future with me if she never loved me??
I also found new pictures of her on her facebook wearing a red dress with her best friend, clearly to attract men. I feel very lonely now without her. We used to talk everyday for a year and now nothing. I feel so lonely, abandoned, left to my own fate. I feel betrayed and mistreated... I tried to search for new women but no one is interested in me. Besides I cannot give all of myself to someone else with her on my mind every day.

And I am sure she is having very nice romantic moments with her new man...

dang I'm sorry to about your troubles Hawx79, first I would suggest blocking your ex's number and delete her from facebook and all other social media. You'll have a better chance getting over her if you don't see her every time you go online.

A broken heart is hard to heal but often can over time. Try to keep your mind and time occupied so you have less time to think about her. With either work or get involved with some hobbies such as biking walking, or going to the gym. Maybe try to learn a new instrument or a new language there are lot's of resources online to help you get started

I hope that helps some *hugs*

Yup. Block and cut her out. She's checking in so she can keep you on a leash. She doesn't really want you to move on and so far she isnt even giving you a chance to. Its obvious why she's acting the way she is. She knows what she's doing and its shitty what shes doing. She doesnt give a honeysuckle about you or how her actions hurt you.

Block. Move on. Dont try to talk about it. Ignore if she still tries to contact you. She doesnt deserve any more words, time, or energy from you.

I like evefan's advice for how to move on.

Thanks for the replies and giving me support and advice. I really appreciate it.
I asked her months before if she just wanted to stay friends with me because I didn't feel any love coming from her behalf, it was always me giving. She said she wanted to have a future with me and a family, but to me it didn't feel like she was saying it from her heart. She didn't mean it after all.
If she would have told me long ago that she didn't feel love for me that I could have overcome it much more easily then I did now by backstabbing me and telling she found another man and didn't feel love for me all this time!
Even now she still wants to remain friends with me and has not removed me from her social internet contacts! I would have no self respect if I wanted that! I never would have thought she would leave and hurt me so badly like this. I guess I was just too blind to see her deception all this time. The sun has been taken away in my darkness of life.

Leash.

You'll be allright once you move on. Might take a bit but you'll be ok eventually.

Just my two cents but staying friends with an ex is a terrible thing you can do. Your only opening her to be competitive with you seeing your current dating status etc. she would either show off with another guy towards you or after she fails to stay in a relationship she would make a pathetic attempt to weasel her way back into your life telling you sweet nothings or tell you everything you want to hear so you take her back. Believe me I been there. After I divorced my first wife, she went to get remarried 6 months later and she failed 3 weeks later. And on top of that we both own our business and she took over operations and the business failed soon afterwards. I open up a new establishment and much more successful and she saw that and my current wife is much better to me than she was wanted to come back in. She wanted me as a sex friend and come back in as an employee but after she took over my business as to get me in her divorce decree. So I told her to hit the bricks.

Sounds like she's looking for closure.  She wants get on with her life without feeling any residual guilt over what happened. Acting like a concerned friend to you allows her to resolve things emotionally and move on. It won't last, being that it isn't really about friendship, but for a time you'll probably have to endure hearing things you'd rather not. Which as others have pointed out is the last thing you need.

She wrote again me on WhatsApp a few days ago, I didn't read them and blocked her on facebook. In return she did the same to me and on WhatsApp too now.
I remember a few weeks after she already broke with me, she wanted to have a conversation with me, I thought she wanted to reconcile our relationship but she started to talk about how she wanted to have a baby from a man she likes but doesn't really know! I was shocked she could say that to me as she knows really well I loved her. She simply didn't care how it would make me feel.
Should I miss such a person? Hell no! I see things clearer now then when I started this thread. I've been an emotional wreck for months because of her. She broke my hearts in pieces and expects me to still want to be friends with her! How insane can you get?

Good job. I'm proud of ya =p.

She doesn't want to be friends.

She wants you to become a beta male orbiter.

AKA: attention-giver and second-option-failsafe

Run. Far. Fast.

Just an update. I deleted the block as I thought she would have forgotten about me, but then next week she wrote me first and when I told her I still have feelings for her said she is going to move to another country for a man she met and going to have a family with him and then wished me nicely good luck in my life and then she deleted her whole facebook profile! I asked for a picture of him because I don't believe it, but she refused.
Not only did she hurt me again but also made me really confused. What was the point in that? Did she deliberately tried to give me pain? She even said "I don't want to give you pain"! But she gives!

Hawx79 said:

Just an update. I deleted the block as I thought she would have forgotten about me, but then next week she wrote me first and when I told her I still have feelings for her said she is going to move to another country for a man she met and going to have a family with him and then wished me nicely good luck in my life and then she deleted her whole facebook profile! I asked for a picture of him because I don't believe it, but she refused.
Not only did she hurt me again but also made me really confused. What was the point in that? Did she deliberately tried to give me pain? She even said "I don't want to give you pain"! But she gives!

Click to expand...

I think asking for a picture of dude is for naught. Whether it's actually true or not, she's made it pretty clear that she most likely doesn't want to communicate with you anymore. And I'll be honest, if my ex asked for a photo of ******* when he messaged me a few years back, I probably would have been confused as to why he cared to see, for any reason. I probably would have refused as well, because it's really not his business.

I can't say for sure if she wanted to cause you pain. Even if I knew her and talked with her, that intention might never be revealed. But the choice to dwell on it is completely yours.

VanillaCreme said:

Hawx79 said:

Just an update. I deleted the block as I thought she would have forgotten about me, but then next week she wrote me first and when I told her I still have feelings for her said she is going to move to another country for a man she met and going to have a family with him and then wished me nicely good luck in my life and then she deleted her whole facebook profile! I asked for a picture of him because I don't believe it, but she refused.
Not only did she hurt me again but also made me really confused. What was the point in that? Did she deliberately tried to give me pain? She even said "I don't want to give you pain"! But she gives!

Click to expand...

I think asking for a picture of dude is for naught. Whether it's actually true or not, she's made it pretty clear that she most likely doesn't want to communicate with you anymore. And I'll be honest, if my ex asked for a photo of ******* when he messaged me a few years back, I probably would have been confused as to why he cared to see, for any reason. I probably would have refused as well, because it's really not his business.

I can't say for sure if she wanted to cause you pain. Even if I knew her and talked with her, that intention might never be revealed. But the choice to dwell on it is completely yours.

Click to expand...

But there's also no reason for her to even write me and tell me she has a new man. She could simply not write me and disappear then to mess with my head!

You know she messes with your head and hearth, no matter the reasons for this, you need to realise it's over and there is no point in continuing dialog of any kind.

If anything use the things you've learned from the recent messages to get over her, know that she is not worthy of your love and attention, she broke your trust and you have no obligation to now counsel her with any issues she might have, let her turn to her family for that.

Others have already told you what she might be doing, keeping you around as a fallback, leaving you with false hope and stopping you from finding any closure, whatever her motives, it's unfair and a cruel thing to do.

Cut her out, heal and move on.

It's 99% a lie.

You shouldn't have unblocked.

At least now she feels like she got her last laugh and will hopefully be gone for good. In her mind you believed her lies and it's for the best. Anything she can tell herself to keep her ego intact.

kamya said:

It's 99% a lie.

You shouldn't have unblocked.

At least now she feels like she got her last laugh and will hopefully be gone for good. In her mind you believed her lies and it's for the best. Anything she can tell herself to keep her ego intact.

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Thanks Kamya, once again you seem to understand this situation of mine like no other. At least now I understand she just wanted to ruin me. I've spend time with her in life and she always seemed nice and innocent, I guess it was an act. Never could I imagine how cruel of a person she really is. She may want to try again nearing Christmas or new year.

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Hawx79 said:

VanillaCreme said:

Hawx79 said:

Just an update. I deleted the block as I thought she would have forgotten about me, but then next week she wrote me first and when I told her I still have feelings for her said she is going to move to another country for a man she met and going to have a family with him and then wished me nicely good luck in my life and then she deleted her whole facebook profile! I asked for a picture of him because I don't believe it, but she refused.
Not only did she hurt me again but also made me really confused. What was the point in that? Did she deliberately tried to give me pain? She even said "I don't want to give you pain"! But she gives!

Click to expand...

I think asking for a picture of dude is for naught. Whether it's actually true or not, she's made it pretty clear that she most likely doesn't want to communicate with you anymore. And I'll be honest, if my ex asked for a photo of ******* when he messaged me a few years back, I probably would have been confused as to why he cared to see, for any reason. I probably would have refused as well, because it's really not his business.

I can't say for sure if she wanted to cause you pain. Even if I knew her and talked with her, that intention might never be revealed. But the choice to dwell on it is completely yours.

Click to expand...

But there's also no reason for her to even write me and tell me she has a new man. She could simply not write me and disappear then to mess with my head!

Click to expand...

There was no real reason for it, no. I don't get that myself. Perhaps she thought she was closing a chapter in her life. It may have not really been about you, but maybe her trying to validate her choices. I have no idea. There's many things you could try to figure out, but you're probably not even going to begin to scratch at the surface.

Probably temporarily deactivated her profile rather than deleted it. (Sounds like you have been checking up on her profile via an alternative facebook account.) People generally aren't eager to discuss their relationships with an ex. It's been over for a while, so there doesn't seem to be a good reason why she would tell you about this.

ardour said:

Probably temporarily deactivated her profile rather than deleted it. (Sounds like you have been checking up on her profile via an alternative facebook account)
Normal people generally aren't eager to discuss their relationships with an ex. It's been over the between you for a while, so there doesn't seem to be a good reason why she would tell you about this.

Click to expand...

I'll tell you she has problems finding a man as she is a Russian woman living in saint Petersburg of 37 and still living with her mother. I live in the Netherlands and after a year of communicating and meeting we discussed about her immigrating and marriage. The more I met her the more I noticed she didn't really love me but rather only saw me as a friend, yet still wanted to get married to me. So one month before she broke up with me, I tried to test her if she would get jealous. Eg. i spoke how attractive her married girlfriend was and unfortunately she was married. She did get angry and got more and more tired of my tests.
She supports her mother and said her mother needed €500 every month when she would migrate to me. I understand her mother needs support but €500 per month for 1 old lady of 60 seemed suspiciously high.
Nevertheless, she did have feelings for me, one time she cried when we departed after meeting, you can't fake that. And she spoke about me to most of her friends and sister.