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Peet

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Mar 1, 2016
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Hi all. 44 year old male from the uk here. The loneliness feeling was hitting me today (on my day off from work) and that's what brought me here. If I'm honest with you I have lots some good friends around me and a relatively comfortable life. It's mostly not having a partner or kids that I think makes me feel lonely at these times. I was with someone for 16 years and we were married for 6 of those years. When I met her she had already had children and didn't want any more (which I totally understand) so this is one of the reason we never had children together. I actually had a daughter too from a previous partner but our relationship broke down and I haven't seen her (not through the want of trying) for 7 years now. This is a constant sadness in my life (not seeing my daughter). 

I think I may place too much emphasis on being with someone (a partner) but that's when I have been at my most happiest. I just don't have the sense of belonging anymore. It's great that I have free time and I do a lot of actives (outdoors etc). I meet with friends regularly but inevitably always end up back home alone and it's not long before this empty lonely feeling kicks in. Sometimes I'm really good at fighting it off but other times it's all consuming.  

I used to have a good life and felt like I belonged when I was with my ex and her girls (I had a great relationship with the girls and still do).

Man don't get me started on the dating scene either. It can be soul destroying. 

I do sometimes think what is the point in me being here and I have had all the thoughts that come with that. It's a bit sad as I feel I would be so much happier and less lonely  with a partner. I read lots of advice about loving yourself but that is so much easier said than done. 

Anyway. Having a very lonely day today so just thought I would share some of my thoughts on here. 

Sometimes it's good to know your not the only person going through this

Peace and love all ✌️
 
Hi Peet welcome to the forum.

I've never had a serious partner before. I'm sorry you don't get to see your daughter often that must be rough.

It's good that you get out and and have friends to hang out with. Try to find some good indoor activities you can do by yourself, such as reading writing, listening to music, sudoku or crosswords, maybe try to learn a new instrument or a new language, something to occupy your time at home so you don't feel so lonely. Or maybe you could get a pet, maybe a dog or cat someone to greet you when you come home and give you some company.

I hope that helps some :)

Anyways welcome again to the forum

:)
 
Prior to meeting my wife I could relate to what you’re saying…feeling as if you’re meant for more, you have more to give, yet for whatever reason I couldn’t find the right person to share my life with and the loneliness was overwhelming for me.  There were times where I didn’t go out unless I had to go to work or I’d overcompensate and go out night after night.  Join a club, find one which incorporates a hobby you love or would love to get involved with, a church group, volunteer, get out of your normal routine and do something opposite.  I went to the extreme and changed my entire life, except for my profession, I moved across country and began anew.  New friends, groups, got involved with this great church and met my wife.  Don’t give up, I was 34 when I met my wife of 16 years, we’ve had our own troubles within that time, but don’t give up, keep challenging yourself!
 

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