I'm lost...

Hi everyone,

Before I start I just want to say that I'm sorry for the mistakes I'll do in this post. I am from Belgium, so my english isn't perfect.

Well, as it is written in the title, I'm lost whright now... I'm 22 and I'm doing a master in biology at university. I have a nice familly and some very good friends. It could seem like I happy life but I am desperately lonely and that for a long time now.
When I was like 16 I fell in love with a girl, but she didn't want me and it broke my heart. It's still even affecting me now. Since then, I can't love a girl anymore. I don't believe I can. Despite this, I want to find a girlfriend with whom I can live a happy relationship. But I never reached this point...
Indeed, I'm a shy person and I am not a good looking guy. Every time I asked a girl that I liked they answered me: "No, I am sorry. But dont worry, you are intelligent and nice, so you'll find a girl".
This is just bullshit. Girls don't even look at me or they look at me with a look that says what...

And I right now I'm just lost. All I can do is thinking about that, during the whole day and even during the night. I can't sleep well anymore and I just cry a lot...

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to get better and I try some things but I think that as long as I don't find a girl which wants me I'll be like that. And it'll probably worsen :/

Anyway, thank you for reading this kinda call for help.

I'm not trying to be mean or offend you by saying this, but it's unlikely you were really in love with that girl when you were 16. You probably just idolized her, lusted after her, were obsessed with her, infatuated with her, or something along those lines, but it was unlikely actual love.
Now, the first thing you should do is leave that where it belongs....in the past. It happened, yes and it's horrible, but it's over. You can't change it, so why keep torturing yourself with it.
Next you need to stop being negative. Maybe you don't think you are, but you need to stop worrying about what you look like and start focusing on what you can offer. Build your confidence. Shyness isn't a bad thing, IMO, unless it cripples your ability to talk to people a lot. It doesn't sound like it does, since you do ask girls out, though.
You should stop focusing so much on girls. Focus on yourself. Figure out who you are, what you want, why you don't like yourself. I'm not saying you have to love yourself, but it helps to keep your eyes on the good things.

Maybe the process of grieving takes longer for different people. It's scary to be alone and the thought of being alone forever can all but consume.

At least you have this site though where you can pour your heart out and the community will do their best to give you advice.

Maybe that connection and interaction with other members can take the edge off of your loneliness and sorrows.

Anyway, I feel for you and I'm sorry that you've been in such pain.

Heart ache is horrible.

I have to agree,
you need to put this girl in the past with da' ass.
Move on in your head or you'll be one of those guys on CNN that they do a story about because he made a love doll after his first girl.
I had the same situation one time, my dad told me, "Take the last picture of her, scream at it for about an hour, then..."
Let's just say it wasn't pleasant. He had irritable bowel syndrome also which might be another part of the end result.

Get her out of your head, or your going to be living this over and over. And over, like I do sometimes, or maybe it's the pot...

I have to agree,
you need to put this girl in the past...................AGGGHH!

Don't overrate women. You can live without them, not saying that its what you have to do... but you can stay happy atleast until you have a partner... Aloneness is not just a physical situation, its our very true nature. Women aren't the root cause of a man's happiness. It has nothing to do with women.

M_also_lonely said:

Don't overrate women. You can live without them

Click to expand...

I find that a perfectly executed wank is just as satisfactory as a relationship with a female.

Thank you guys for your advice. It means a lot!