MissLonely79
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2017
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- 87
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I am perpetually on this same cycle for the last 8 years. Surrounded by jerks. Everytime i meet someone knew they turn out to be jerks too. Every. Single. Time. They say some really shitty stuff and when I stand up for myself by calling them on it, they double down on being ******** instead of feeling bad, remoursefull or wrong about anything they said or done. That's the standard now a days. Then, on a different note, in a different situation entirely, I am mad at myself for acting the same **** way in certain situations that I promised myself for 8 years now I wouldn't act in. I feel so ashamed of myself. I let people walk all over me and give them my smiles and my laughs when they don't deserve any of it. I promise myself I won't let my gaurd down, but I always, always, do. I've had this talk with myself millions of times, but yet break my promise to myself millions of times. Why can't i be strong? Why do I just lose myself in the moment and let people dictate my attitude? I'm really confused about everything and I really wish I had someone to talk to about these things but no one is interested. It's a boring topic and a petty topic to them I suppose. Funny thing is, when it happens to them, it's not so petty anymore. But when it comes to me, it's always petty.