lilE
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- Jan 7, 2015
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Lately ever since my depression and anxiety have gotten worse, at times even severe, I fine solace at night. Starting in the evening, like a few hours before I rest all the way until the early morning hours if I am still awake. I feel so calm at night and the depression and anxiety lift a bit, I feel somewhat normal. Maybe it is because I feel like I survived another day. I chase this nighttime sanity so bad that lately I have been looking forward to the night and trying to prolong it by staying up as late as possible. I have been falling asleep anywhere from 2am to 5am everyday and to avoid the morning and daytime I get up around noon or 1pm.
When I do get up in the morning the first thing I feel is dread and anxiety, if I am feeling depressed I feel cold and even physical pain which makes it feel impossible to get out. I feel like what is the point of getting up if I already know what today is going to bring, loneliness, anxiety, desperation, worrying, ruminating, isolation. But once I am awake I can't stay in bed too long otherwise I will have anxiety attacks due to my thoughts (thanks anxiety for helping me get out of bed lol).
I want to hear from you guys. Do you feel better during the day, at night, or does it not make a difference?
When I do get up in the morning the first thing I feel is dread and anxiety, if I am feeling depressed I feel cold and even physical pain which makes it feel impossible to get out. I feel like what is the point of getting up if I already know what today is going to bring, loneliness, anxiety, desperation, worrying, ruminating, isolation. But once I am awake I can't stay in bed too long otherwise I will have anxiety attacks due to my thoughts (thanks anxiety for helping me get out of bed lol).
I want to hear from you guys. Do you feel better during the day, at night, or does it not make a difference?