Poll: Can a person be happy if he has no friends?
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Yes
65.00%
13 65.00%
No
35.00%
7 35.00%
Total 20 vote(s) 100%
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Can a person be happy if he has no friends?
#11
(10-25-2017, 10:45 AM)ardour Wrote: It would be difficult for the majority of people to be happy in a complete absence of friends/close family. We evolved as social groups after all, it's the reason for language, culture, etc. I think Chomsky's research into linguistics indicates that language is part of cognitive hardwiring. There's plenty of evidence that the lonely suffer a higher incidence of mental illness and die earlier. Obviously there are exceptions that prefer isolation, others with bad  enough experiences to avoid friendships. Generally: not really.

I dont know what Chomsky's research has to do with it.

But you are right.
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#12
Yes, solitude is a gift.

Aloneness is not just a physical situation, aloneness is our very true nature. That's how we are supposed to be, that's why we have a package of all the tools required to do so, when we are born.

We have been taught to be dependent on others because freedom is dangerous, dangerous to the society, to the institution, so we grow up seeking the company of others, and we try to make peace even if the person we find is shitty, because otherwise we know that we will be alone, and aloneness sounds scary, we would have to walk alone, nobody will be there for us, this sounds scary because we are taught so. That's why marriages still exist, that's why all the religions still exist.

Friendship is a great thing to have, but like all the relationships, friendship has to be about interdependence, neither dependence nor independence. Means that friendship shouldn't be a need to be fulfilled so that we can avoid becoming lonely.

Yes, happiness has nothing to do with having friends, lover, parents, etc.

Look at Chester Bennington, how many people loved him, still do, how many friends he had, how many kids he had. He had everything, friends, fame, a partner, kids, money, fame a great team, talent. But still he killed himself. Happiness has nothing to do with others. Nothing.
________________________________________________________________
Smile   Toungue
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#13
(10-25-2017, 10:45 AM)ardour Wrote: It would be difficult for the majority of people to be happy in a complete absence of friends/close family. We evolved as social groups after all, it's the reason for language, culture, etc. I think Chomsky's research into linguistics indicates that language is part of cognitive hardwiring. There's plenty of evidence that the lonely suffer a higher incidence of mental illness and die earlier. Obviously there are exceptions that prefer isolation, others with bad  enough experiences to avoid friendships. Generally: not really.

I agree. I prefer isolation, but I still have my family to spend time with. I have no friends and I'm actually proud of it. No one wants to have friends that aren't really friends.

I just prefer spending time improving myself instead of wasting time longing for others' attention.
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#14
The little things that bring me joy like my favorite movies and my art & writing projects. Oh, what the heck? This forum belongs on that list. Loneliness occurs when you dwell on negative thoughts - which, in turns prevents you from being happy. Therefore, if you can evade those negative thoughts, you can be happy.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#15
That's subjective. It depends on what a person bases their happiness upon which, is decided by a combination of personality type and worldview.
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#16
Don't listen to any slap=happy crapola about how it's up to you whether or not you are happy. They will
say some horse manure like:
You can do anything with the right attitude!  Just choose to be happy.


This is a vicious evil LIE.

We live in a material world, and YES you DO need material things to obtain happiness.
Everything else is pure lying to yourself, and lots of people are trying real hard to sell you that lie.

What matters more is how you define two things:  "happy" and "friend".

What specific feelings do you want, and what actions in real life do you want other to perform in 
the real world in order to make you feel that way?

And, also, what are YOU prepared to offer in return? Will it be a fair deal?  Often not, especially when
dealing with the opposite gender.

And, despite temptation, never trust anyone completely.  NEVER.   NO ONE.
Time passes. Things happen.  Feelings change.

Today's friend can VERY easily become your deadly enemy tomorrow.
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#17
Is love and friendship classed as 'material'?
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#18
(01-11-2019, 01:16 PM)bearcat22 Wrote: Don't listen to any slap=happy crapola about how it's up to you whether or not you are happy. They will
say some horse manure like:
You can do anything with the right attitude!  Just choose to be happy.


This is a vicious evil LIE.

Yes.. This is so true. 
It’s very insulting when someone assumes that all I have to do to change things in my life is to be positive. Think there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people around if that was the case. Being positive helps, I can agree to that. However, my shit still exists even if I’m smiling or not. 
Most of the times I choose to be positive. But it’s still there! 
😂 lol. 
Ahh.. I need a coffee so bad. 😜
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#19
(01-11-2019, 07:54 PM)Jessicat Wrote:
(01-11-2019, 01:16 PM)bearcat22 Wrote: Don't listen to any slap=happy crapola about how it's up to you whether or not you are happy. They will
say some horse manure like:
You can do anything with the right attitude!  Just choose to be happy.


This is a vicious evil LIE.

Yes.. This is so true. 
It’s very insulting when someone assumes that all I have to do to change things in my life is to be positive. Think there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people around if that was the case. Being positive helps, I can agree to that. However, my shit still exists even if I’m smiling or not. 
Most of the times I choose to be positive. But it’s still there! 
😂 lol. 
Ahh.. I need a coffee so bad. 😜

Just simply smiling doesn't make you have a more positive outlook.  It takes more than that.  It's like when people ask you how you are and you say fine, but are you really?  No, of course not. 
You can just as easily tell yourself something and not mean it deep down where it really counts.  THAT is what you have to change, which is NOT an easy thing to do.  Simple, yes.  Easy, no. 
That's where people seem to be confused.  Having a simple plan does not mean that things will be easy to accomplish.  Some simple plans are the hardest things you will ever do in your life. 
Fake it til you make it doesn't work for everything.   Faking it can help for the harder things, but usually not if you aren't willing to put in the extremely hard work that it takes to "make it."
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

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#20
(01-11-2019, 08:59 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote:
(01-11-2019, 07:54 PM)Jessicat Wrote:
(01-11-2019, 01:16 PM)bearcat22 Wrote: Don't listen to any slap=happy crapola about how it's up to you whether or not you are happy. They will
say some horse manure like:
You can do anything with the right attitude!  Just choose to be happy.


This is a vicious evil LIE.

Yes.. This is so true. 
It’s very insulting when someone assumes that all I have to do to change things in my life is to be positive. Think there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people around if that was the case. Being positive helps, I can agree to that. However, my shit still exists even if I’m smiling or not. 
Most of the times I choose to be positive. But it’s still there! 
😂 lol. 
Ahh.. I need a coffee so bad. 😜

Just simply smiling doesn't make you have a more positive outlook.  It takes more than that.  It's like when people ask you how you are and you say fine, but are you really?  No, of course not. 
You can just as easily tell yourself something and not mean it deep down where it really counts.  THAT is what you have to change, which is NOT an easy thing to do.  Simple, yes.  Easy, no. 
That's where people seem to be confused.  Having a simple plan does not mean that things will be easy to accomplish.  Some simple plans are the hardest things you will ever do in your life. 
Fake it til you make it doesn't work for everything.   Faking it can help for the harder things, but usually not if you aren't willing to put in the extremely hard work that it takes to "make it."
Unfortunately everyone likes a chuckle head 
We all do ...the life of the party is the funny person with the constant smile 
BUT if you watch these people ...their smiles do break as well 
Its important to be happy but also important to not hold on to our shit
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