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keepswimming

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Oct 1, 2017
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Location
Scotland, UK
Took me a while to post here but eventually got around to it in an effort to reach out to people. 

I guess this is where I introduce myself and say a bit about my life. 

I'm 35 year old female in Scotland, I live alone with my cat. I have almost no contact with any of my family, other than my sister who I may hear from once or twice a year. I have recently split with my partner of ten years and have moved out and bought my first house. I have a full time job that I guess I enjoy and that's the basis of most of my human contact.

I am prone to depression, not on medication or in therapy at the moment but I have been in the past, not for a long time though.

I think it helps knowing that there are others in a similar situation and not feel such a weirdo about how my life is.

I don't really have many friends or go out places, maybe I am more comfortable indoors.

Having ended a long term relationship, I am suddenly thrown back into the lonely me that has no permanent people in my world. 

With Christmas coming up, I am starting to feel that dread and would welcome anyone in similar situation to say hi and know you're not the only one. 

x
 
Hi there, keepswimming. I know well the feelings of dread that Christmas can bring. You're not the only one.
I also know very well how it is having no permanent people in one's world. Although at the moment I have one friend.
Welcome to this forum.
 
Hi keepswimming welcome to the forum, I like your username :)

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship. I've been single for a long time, you'll get through it, or maybe you'll meet someone else :)

If you can and if the weather isn't too bad, I would recommend forcing yourself to get outside a little more, even just getting out to go for a walk around the block or something, maybe join a gym or something, go to the library and find a nice book to read. My favorite Author's are Jk Rowling, Mark Twain, Mary Shelly ( it's a good time of the year to pick up Frankenstein) Malcom Gladwell and AJ Jacobs.

Or maybe just get out and go to a coffee shop or cafe and treat yourself to a fancy warm drink or something .

Anyways welcome to the forum :)
 
You are not alone. I am in a similar situation and have learned that it's okay to be more of a homebody. The holidays are always more difficult. But I would encourage you to perhaps get a therapist who can talk you through some of the issues and give you tools. It sounds like you are otherwise well-adjusted. I also suggest getting outside because for me, once I got a dog and had to go outside and take long walks, it helped my spirit to be in nature. Is there a book club or something you can join? Blessings to you.
 
Thanks to all.

I keep revisiting the idea of finding a therapist but just never get around to it. Seems that I have a mountain of issues to get through so maybe I am a little overwhelmed at the thought of tackling it. Have thought of joining groups but I am awkward and low self confidence socially. I am trying to get together a plan for Christmas, something I can do alone that will be pleasing to me. Beginning to prey on my mind as the days get closer.

I don't know what happened that caused me to have no one.
 
Hello keepswimming,

I know how you feel all to well, being a life long loner due to events outside of my control, and some I just never learned to deal with I have often wondered where it went so wrong for me, and what I could have changed over the years to avoid this. I can think about those things all I want, I'll never be able to change the past.

Christmas time is hard for me, mostly because it's the time I usually get depressed a bit, I have my birthday on christmas day and usually just have this "another year gone" feeling, then it's also one of the only times a year the entire family gets together, and somehow I forget all about it and just have a good time.

Then late in the evening I go home, and plant myself in the sofa thinking that last line; "I don't know what happened that caused me to have no one."
 
Long story short, (Just me, not busting on you guys, I just have stupid crap to do today)
The holidays are probably the best time to find someone.
I mean, imagine summer.

More people hook up in colder weather than summer I assure you.
This could be the best time of your life.
 
Welcome, keepswimming. I am new here as well. I hope we all have a wonderful time here.

You mentioned the dread of christmas coming up. There are a few reasons to dread it which I can think of. Not having company on such a day, having to deal with family obligations to go see them, bad memories? I'm not sure which one to be relating to.

And astute observation, GizmonicScrewdriver. Holidays are indeed when people get together the most. Maybe if we were to muster up the courage, finding a christmas party happening somewhere might be a good idea - if we can avoid ones with guest lists, that is.
 
Hi keepswsimming.
Also a newbie here and I recognize a lot of what you are describing from your life, so you are not alone. :)

I'm also wondering whether Scotland is a bit similar to my Scandinavia at this time of the year; cold, grey, with the occasional sun ray breaking through the clouds. It can get a bit melancholic, especially around Christmas.
 

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